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Thread: Help Me Stop and Get Back on Track

  1. Regular Member
    NightBreeze's Avatar
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    #1

    Exclamation Help Me Stop and Get Back on Track

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    Hey Everyone I really need your help.

    I have been in a LDR for about 4 months and I am not a high maintenance women and I'm a pretty independent women but lately I've felt like I'm becoming someone I don't even know any more.

    Lately we have been having some issues with communication. Now DB isn't very good at communicating via text message and I'm an over communicator, which has caused some friction in the past but everything seemed to come to a head this morning. Lately it seem like he has had no problem looking at the messages I've sent, without responding, but was getting irritated when I wasn't responding to him right away. He said that he was sorry that it seemed like he was upset but he was tired of feeling like he had to answer to me all the time

    I've never wanted him to feel like he had to check in with me, but damn I'm so tired of playing 20 questions just to get any information about his day. I appreciate the effort he has made to text me more often, but He finally admitted that he loved it when send him long messages about my day but he doesn't feel comfortable "talking" to me via text and he is more comfortable talking on the phone a couple times a week.........So why didn't he say this earlier? It would have been so much easier to not take the long silence so personally if I had just known that from the get go.

    Now I really need your help. Text messaging is the main way I talk with my friends so I know that it will be hard to adjust to this new communication and I'm a little afraid that I'm going to mess up a few times. On top of all of this I am scheduled to go see him here soon and I am nervous that the increase in our arguments has been causing a stain on us (I know I've been struggling). We have gone from talking about getting married before this assignment and now we have seen an increase in our fighting and we are both very tired of it. He knows I'm not a high maintenance women and even said today that he didn't fall in love with a high maintenance woman, but he doesn't know what he could do to help and I don't know what else I can do either. I want to stop this cycle and enjoy my relationship once again

    So where do we go from here and what can I do?
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    Ol' Grey Mare's Avatar
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by NightBreeze View Post
    Hey Everyone I really need your help.

    I have been in a LDR for about 4 months and I am not a high maintenance women and I'm a pretty independent women but lately I've felt like I'm becoming someone I don't even know any more.

    Lately we have been having some issues with communication. Now DB isn't very good at communicating via text message and I'm an over communicator, which has caused some friction in the past but everything seemed to come to a head this morning. Lately it seem like he has had no problem looking at the messages I've sent, without responding, but was getting irritated when I wasn't responding to him right away. He said that he was sorry that it seemed like he was upset but he was tired of feeling like he had to answer to me all the time

    I've never wanted him to feel like he had to check in with me, but damn I'm so tired of playing 20 questions just to get any information about his day. I appreciate the effort he has made to text me more often, but He finally admitted that he loved it when send him long messages about my day but he doesn't feel comfortable "talking" to me via text and he is more comfortable talking on the phone a couple times a week.........So why didn't he say this earlier? It would have been so much easier to not take the long silence so personally if I had just known that from the get go.

    Now I really need your help. Text messaging is the main way I talk with my friends so I know that it will be hard to adjust to this new communication and I'm a little afraid that I'm going to mess up a few times. On top of all of this I am scheduled to go see him here soon and I am nervous that the increase in our arguments has been causing a stain on us (I know I've been struggling). We have gone from talking about getting married before this assignment and now we have seen an increase in our fighting and we are both very tired of it. He knows I'm not a high maintenance women and even said today that he didn't fall in love with a high maintenance woman, but he doesn't know what he could do to help and I don't know what else I can do either. I want to stop this cycle and enjoy my relationship once again

    So where do we go from here and what can I do?
    What are you referring to by being afraid you will "mess up"? Is it that you are worried you will continue to text him (doesn't seem that is an issue anyway as he has said he likes getting the texts from you, just isn't one to text back)? Is it that you will text him and then be upset that he doesn't text you back (seems more likley to be an issue given the above post)?
  3. Regular Member
    NightBreeze's Avatar
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by ZivaD View Post
    Is it that you will text him and then be upset that he doesn't text you back (seems more likley to be an issue given the above post)?
    Yes to this

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