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Thread: He might be breaking up with me :/

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    Pinkster12's Avatar
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    #1

    He might be breaking up with me :/

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    So I am in a total state of panic. I spent all day Monday with my bf after not seeing him for a month.. He was so disconnected he didn't try to kiss me or anything, he was just being so weird. I asked him a few times what was up and I could tell he was in one of his moods, which made me feel like poop that I drove an hour to see someone who could give a crap less about seeing me. Anyways so we were sitting down talking about something and he joked "oh we are breaking up" he says that a lot as a joke and I'm like "are you serious?" and he always says no. This time he said "I don't know, maybe" literally my heart sank I was like "you want to break up?" and he said he doesn't know, he is confused and feels tied down. Then he asked if I wanted to take a break, we have barely been together a month so no I am not taking a break, I told him either he wants to be with me or he doesn't I'm not taking a break or being all "it's complicated" because that is stupid. So he said he was just freaking out because he feels like his life isn't going in the direction he wants, and he said he wants to go back to school and how he is barely in the military because they are making a lot of cuts, and he just hates where he is. He has talked about taking a job 2 hours away, which scares me but I think we could make it. We talked and he said he likes me a lot and doesn't want to break up but now I am freaking out. I know there isn't someone else, and I have seen him get into these ruts before. After that talk he was super sweet and held my hand the whole time and stuff but I feel like it was probably only because I cried. I just feel confused and stressed because I don't want this to end I care about him, I want my relationship. Also when I got home I texted him and told him I support any decision he makes and just letting him know I care. He said "don't worry about me, I get into these ruts here and there, just know how special you are to me". Is that BS or should I believe it? What do I do? I don't want to not be with him.
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Pinkster12 View Post
    So I am in a total state of panic. I spent all day Monday with my bf after not seeing him for a month.. He was so disconnected he didn't try to kiss me or anything, he was just being so weird. I asked him a few times what was up and I could tell he was in one of his moods, which made me feel like poop that I drove an hour to see someone who could give a crap less about seeing me. Anyways so we were sitting down talking about something and he joked "oh we are breaking up" he says that a lot as a joke and I'm like "are you serious?" and he always says no. This time he said "I don't know, maybe" literally my heart sank I was like "you want to break up?" and he said he doesn't know, he is confused and feels tied down. Then he asked if I wanted to take a break, we have barely been together a month so no I am not taking a break, I told him either he wants to be with me or he doesn't I'm not taking a break or being all "it's complicated" because that is stupid. So he said he was just freaking out because he feels like his life isn't going in the direction he wants, and he said he wants to go back to school and how he is barely in the military because they are making a lot of cuts, and he just hates where he is. He has talked about taking a job 2 hours away, which scares me but I think we could make it. We talked and he said he likes me a lot and doesn't want to break up but now I am freaking out. I know there isn't someone else, and I have seen him get into these ruts before. After that talk he was super sweet and held my hand the whole time and stuff but I feel like it was probably only because I cried. I just feel confused and stressed because I don't want this to end I care about him, I want my relationship. Also when I got home I texted him and told him I support any decision he makes and just letting him know I care. He said "don't worry about me, I get into these ruts here and there, just know how special you are to me". Is that BS or should I believe it? What do I do? I don't want to not be with him.
    Take a deep breath. You have been together for a month and he says you are breaking up, as a joke, "a lot"? There should not be this level of desperation at this point in a "relationship".
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    #3
    You've been together a month and saw him for the first time in a month, so you've hardy see each other?

    I'd cut my losses. I also wouldn't be okay with someone jokingly breaking up with me.
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    #4
    IIRC, he has not been too anxious about your desperate need to have his baby and has made it clear to you that the two of you are on very different pages as far as immediate plans - it may be that he has had further time to reflect on this.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by ZivaD View Post
    IIRC, he has not been too anxious about your desperate need to have his baby and has made it clear to you that the two of you are on very different pages as far as immediate plans - it may be that he has had further time to reflect on this.


    He sounds like a flake. You sound like you could use some time to yourself. I'd break up with him before giving him the chance to toy with my emotions any further.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by CDNTrish View Post


    He sounds like a flake. You sound like you could use some time to yourself. I'd break up with him before giving him the chance to toy with my emotions any further.
    Really want a baby with my Marine!
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by ZivaD View Post


    Yeah, I would take about 20 steps back and really evaluate why you are in such a rush.
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    #8
    After the other thread and this one, I think you need to just be done with. Too much drama for one month. You want a baby with a man who jokes about breaking up with you all the time? Not worth it.


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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by november View Post
    After the other thread and this one, I think you need to just be done with. Too much drama for one month. You want a baby with a man who jokes about breaking up with you all the time? Not worth it.


    Good luck, OP.
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    #10
    I agree with everyone else, you really need to step back and reevaluate a LOT of things. If he jokingly breaks up with you all the time, why would you even want to stay? Or even worse reproduce with him because if he can jokingly break up with you now, whose to say he wouldn't leave you high and dry with a kid?

    Cut the losses and move forward. Or at least take the break, it sounds like both of you could use that time to figure a lot out.


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