Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 39

Thread: Am I Over Reacting?

  1. Fresh Newbie
    Forgiven's Avatar
    Forgiven is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    620 Miles Away from Me
    Posts
    12
    #1

    Am I Over Reacting?

    Advertisements
    My guy is in the national gaurd so every month befor he leaves for bootcamp in Agust he has to go to one drill. At his first drill he meet a female national gaurd member. At first I thought nothing of it, but then I found out they were hanging one on one alot, and when I finaly met her she was very flirty and touchy feely with him even though I his long term serious girl friend was standing right there. Not one to make a scene I didnt say anything to her but brought the matter up to Alex later, and he said he would pull back and stop hanging out with her. Then last weekend out of the blue He admited that she had sent him a nude picture but he had deleated it right away. Then last night there was a facebook post on his wall from her saying how she loved spending time with him and how she was so glade they were hanging out right now. So I texted him and I just asked if I had to be worried about her, and he of course replyed with a no, but I didnt really belive it and am ashamed to admit I was crying. He called me and when I asked if he hung out with her he said no so I said I saw the facebook post and he told me he wasnt going to tell me because it was no big deal. Do you think I have reson to worry? Because my brain tells me I am being rediculus, but my gut tells me something isnt right.
  2. Senior Member
    ArmyCupcake's Avatar
    ArmyCupcake is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    12,076
    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Forgiven View Post
    My guy is in the national gaurd so every month befor he leaves for bootcamp in Agust he has to go to one drill. At his first drill he meet a female national gaurd member. At first I thought nothing of it, but then I found out they were hanging one on one alot, and when I finaly met her she was very flirty and touchy feely with him even though I his long term serious girl friend was standing right there. Not one to make a scene I didnt say anything to her but brought the matter up to Alex later, and he said he would pull back and stop hanging out with her. Then last weekend out of the blue He admited that she had sent him a nude picture but he had deleated it right away. Then last night there was a facebook post on his wall from her saying how she loved spending time with him and how she was so glade they were hanging out right now. So I texted him and I just asked if I had to be worried about her, and he of course replyed with a no, but I didnt really belive it and am ashamed to admit I was crying. He called me and when I asked if he hung out with her he said no so I said I saw the facebook post and he told me he wasnt going to tell me because it was no big deal. Do you think I have reson to worry? Because my brain tells me I am being rediculus, but my gut tells me something isnt right.
    I would listen to your gut. If this girl is sending him nude pics, she is clearly interested in him. If he's not interested in her, and out of respect for you, he should stop hanging out with her. That would not be OK in my relationship and it doesn't sound like it is for you.
  3. Mombie.
    Jensscrnnm's Avatar
    Jensscrnnm is offline
    Mombie.
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    San Diego, CA
    Posts
    10,011
    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by ArmyCupcake View Post
    I would listen to your gut. If this girl is sending him nude pics, she is clearly interested in him. If he's not interested in her, and out of respect for you, he should stop hanging out with her. That would not be OK in my relationship and it doesn't sound like it is for you.
    This.

    The fact that he hung out with her and lied about it would be a serious issue for me.



  4. Dancing Backwards in High Heels
    HisJuliet's Avatar
    HisJuliet is offline
    Dancing Backwards in High Heels
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Together Again!
    Posts
    9,078
    #4
    Honestly, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck....its probably a duck. I would go with your gut.

    I have nothing against DH having friends that are girls, but sneaking around and not being honest are big no-nos.
  5. OG Member
    April Lynne's Avatar
    April Lynne is offline
    OG Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Houston, Tx area
    Posts
    18,489
    Blog Entries
    5
    #5
    If it were me I'd be seeing red flags all over that. That doesn't just sound like she's pursuing him it sounds like he's allowing it. If he allowed her to be flirty and touchy feely with you standing there then what does he allow her to act like when you're not there?

    Obviously if she's sending nude pictures of herself she's wanting more than friendship and the fact that he just didn't cut her off right there is a HUGE red flag to me.

    Hanging out with her without telling you and lying to you about it until confronted with it is a huge red flag as well.

    If you don't mind me asking how long is "long term" for the two of you? How long have you been together?


  6. Certified G
    KateElizabeth's Avatar
    KateElizabeth is offline
    Certified G
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Sunny Diego
    Posts
    1,885
    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by ArmyCupcake View Post
    I would listen to your gut. If this girl is sending him nude pics, she is clearly interested in him. If he's not interested in her, and out of respect for you, he should stop hanging out with her. That would not be OK in my relationship and it doesn't sound like it is for you.


    This is okay in some relationships, not okay in others. There's no right or wrong in general, but if YOU are uncomfortable with it in any way, shape, or form, he should be respectful of you and stop hanging out with her. She clearly has no respect for the relationship you two have. Ultimately, even if he was innocent, I'd still say heck no because she doesn't have the decency to respect my relationship.

    My ex had a best friend like that. People thought they were dating that's how ridiculous it got. He placed blame on me, told me I was imagining things, and creating issues just for kicks. Turns out after we broke up, he admitted to wanting to be with her while we were dating.

    Go with your gut. It sounds fishy in many aspects. Its not right, and you should absolutely stand up for how you feel. You don't like it, he needs to respect it. I give him credit for telling you about the nude photo, but that's about it.

  7. Semper Fi kinda Life <3
    PinkyLee's Avatar
    PinkyLee is offline
    Semper Fi kinda Life <3
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Bristol, TN
    Posts
    2,248
    Blog Entries
    2
    #7
    The fact is that she crossed a line big time and he needs to respect your feelings about it. DH and I got into an argument the other day because he went to lunch with some girl he met and didnt tell me about it. After I flipped out he told her he couldnt hang out with her anymore. I have nothing against DH having female friends ...as long as no one is crossing a line!!

    I think harmless flirting is ok. I'm a big flirt, but I keep it appropriate to my situation! I would never flirt with someone in a manner that would degrade or upset my husband!

    If the situation makes you that uncomfortable then he needs to do something to reassure you that you have nothing to worry about, and he needs to stop hanging out with her because her intentions are not appropriate.

    Jen2407 is my Wifey!


    Come Check us out... Items designed for MilSo's!!
    Operation Military Sweethearts
  8. Senior Member
    MyMarine21's Avatar
    MyMarine21 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    521
    Blog Entries
    1
    #8
    DH and I were in a similar situation when we first got together. There were some girls before that he flirted with before we got together but as soon we were together and we got serious he cut off all contact with them. And when someone tries to cross a line he stops talking to them.

    It doesnt bother me that DH has female friends, because I have male friends and that wouldn't be fair, but there are lines that if they are crossed we stop talking to them.

    Setting boundaries is important and it sounds like he is not respecting you and your feelings. Big red flags to me, if your gut is telling you something is up I would listen to it.
  9. Fresh Newbie
    Forgiven's Avatar
    Forgiven is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    620 Miles Away from Me
    Posts
    12
    #9
    Alex and I have been bestfriends for four years and have been dating for two, which I know doesnt sound like alot, but for 18 year olds thats awhile. I never had any trust issues with him untill last night when he straight up lied to me, and now I dont really think there is trust. He promised last night to nip this all in the butt, and I hope he does, but it wouldnt be the first time he made that promise about this girl
  10. Semper Fi kinda Life <3
    PinkyLee's Avatar
    PinkyLee is offline
    Semper Fi kinda Life <3
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Bristol, TN
    Posts
    2,248
    Blog Entries
    2
    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Forgiven View Post
    Alex and I have been bestfriends for four years and have been dating for two, which I know doesnt sound like alot, but for 18 year olds thats awhile. I never had any trust issues with him untill last night when he straight up lied to me, and now I dont really think there is trust. He promised last night to nip this all in the butt, and I hope he does, but it wouldnt be the first time he made that promise about this girl
    Unfortunately, due to similar situations I've been in with DH ...if he doesnt do something to prove he's taken care of the problem then you are always going to have insecurities about him. I struggle with this with DH sometimes. It's something that if you dont face it and take care of it, then its going to eat you up and destroy your relationship. So you both definitely need to sit down and take care of it.

    Jen2407 is my Wifey!


    Come Check us out... Items designed for MilSo's!!
    Operation Military Sweethearts
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •