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Thread: How would you go about this?

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    #1

    How would you go about this?

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    So, awhile back I was going to move out of the in laws house and in with my aunt Joleen. The house she's renting is a bigger house and she isn't married, so she was going to let me stay there. I ended up changing my mind and she offered the room to my cousin, Jane. Jane's parents are a little weird. Very strict and overbearing. I guess they're unhappy that she moved out and they took back their car, so my aunt's been driving her too and from work (it's on the other side of the city). Between that and my aunt helping out my grandparents (same side as my sick grandpa) and her own job, my aunt is getting a little overwhelmed. She must have asked my dad for some help and my mom heard that my cousin needed a ride and decided that I should start driving her/try to convince her to use the bus (in Arizona, in 110 degree weather, with Mesa's shoddy bus system ).

    I'm okay with that. I don't have anything better to do and I have a car. Until the end of July I'm free most of the time. Help family out. Yeah.

    Here's the thing: Jane's dad is my dad's only brother. They are the same age and were very close when they were children, but they got in a fight around the time Jane was born and stopped talking. There's a lot of bad blood between our parents. So, while I'd occasionally see them at family events, I grew up not knowing my cousins... so how do I go about offering her a ride?

    Should I just Facebook her and be like "Hey, just so you know, I live down the street and have access to vehicle so if you ever need a ride to work, I'm game."?
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    #2
    Why not? That idea sounds fine. There may be bad blood, but that conflict is a generation away and shouldn't have anything between you. Both of you are adults and able to build your own relationships, while it's important to respect your parents, why let your their' issues get between you and your other relatives?
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Contra View Post
    Why not? That idea sounds fine. There may be bad blood, but that conflict is a generation away and shouldn't have anything between you. Both of you are adults and able to build your own relationships, while it's important to respect your parents, why let your their' issues get between you and your other relatives?
    It's not the bad blood I'm worried about. It's that I'm super awkward and how do I approach someone and be like "Hey, I hear you need a ride, want one?" Now that I write it out, that sounds stupid, but you get what I mean, right? Social anxiety and all that. I just don't want her to be like "Why does she know my business?" and "Did my aunt tell her she was tired of giving me a ride?" and things like that, because that would be my first reaction. Seriously.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Andie View Post
    It's not the bad blood I'm worried about. It's that I'm super awkward and how do I approach someone and be like "Hey, I hear you need a ride, want one?" Now that I write it out, that sounds stupid, but you get what I mean, right? Social anxiety and all that. I just don't want her to be like "Why does she know my business?" and "Did my aunt tell her she was tired of giving me a ride?" and things like that, because that would be my first reaction. Seriously.
    Well it's good that you already know yourself! However, from my "stranger"'s point of view, it doesn't seem stupid at all. She would see you as family, and she would probably just be very grateful If she's suspicious or not open to it at all, I would just shrug it off. You're only doing her a favor, no need to look so much into it
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Contra View Post
    Well it's good that you already know yourself! However, from my "stranger"'s point of view, it doesn't seem stupid at all. She would see you as family, and she would probably just be very grateful If she's suspicious or not open to it at all, I would just shrug it off. You're only doing her a favor, no need to look so much into it
    Yea. Once I typed it out, I realized that I was being stupid. I do that. Thanks for talking it out with me. I appreciate it.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Andie View Post
    Yea. Once I typed it out, I realized that I was being stupid. I do that. Thanks for talking it out with me. I appreciate it.
    No problem! That happens to me a lot, and having someone to speak with on MSOS really helps Good luck speaking with her!
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    #7
    I agree with Contra.

    Or...dress up as a ninja and kidnap her! That would be a fun story.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Oliver View Post
    I agree with Contra.

    Or...dress up as a ninja and kidnap her! That would be a fun story.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Andie View Post
    Should I just Facebook her and be like "Hey, just so you know, I live down the street and have access to vehicle so if you ever need a ride to work, I'm game."?
    I hope she takes you up on it. That's very nice of you. :-)

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