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Thread: Focusing On College

  1. Pour a little salt, we were never here
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    #1

    Screwy Focusing On College

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    I'm pretty new here, so I'll warn you now that I am notorious for long posts! I'll try to keep things short but still making sense...

    Basic background: My husband (here on out known as Javs, or Javier (this is not his real name but it is what I call him on a daily basis) because I never connected with the "DH" thing)...has about nine years of active time. We have been together four years, and he has always been 100% completely certain that he would retire. I have a really ridiculously expensive disease and tricare is amazing (and frustrating, but mostly amazing ).

    Anywho. So he was going to transfer his GI bill to me. I have an associates in liberal arts, but would like to get my BS and eventually a masters in Physical Therapy. Part of transfering the GI bill was adding another two years on to his contract. That was all fine and well until the past month. He's calling me saying maybe he doesn't want to stick it out for 11 more years, but he doesn't know what we would do if gets out. So that's a whole messy mess with his head space and we'll work through that and see what he decides.

    Coming around to my point any minute here...
    College is important to me. I have a passion for what I want to do. I want to work in physical therapy, and possibly even with wounded soliders if that becomes possible in my future. But I've always had a hard time focusing on school, and I swear it's getting worse by the second.

    Not studying, and that whole bit. I just can't seem to even get started. I need to apply to the university here, I need to get my transcripts (from my FIVE other colleges (thanks military ), I need to figure out loans and grants and fafsa if we aren't using the GI bill. But I'm just sitting here twiddling my thumbs.

    He's deployed and last year I was trying to pull all of this together so I could go to school this Fall, while he's away. But we realized the GI bill thing wouldn't work out for that timeline, so I said that was fine and I would just wait another year...but now that he's actually gone, I don't want to be waiting another year! I can't keep putting it off. I put it off the year I moved out with him, then the next year because we were at a tech school for 9 months, then put it off because we weren't supposed to stay at our current base more than 9 months, and now that we are stationed here...I'm putting it off again because of the financing.

    I would absolutely love to have the GI bill pay for my college, Javier earned that benefit by being in the military, and he's never going to use it, it would be a huge help to not have student loans, and get a decent career out of it.
    But if that isn't going to work, I still need to get moving. It's been seven years since I graduated high school, and all I have is an associates degree that I've pieced together through all our moves.

    So my advice seeking bit of this: How on Earth do you stay focused on school? I'm worried that when he's home, it'll be weird for us because I'll have to study full time, but I'll be distracted wanting to do things with him. I think I got such good grades in high school because I wasn't very sociable and I definitely didn't have a boyfriend to distract me.

    But I've put my personal goals on hold for a while now, and I really want to get serious about achieving my educational goals so that I can have a career too, and eventually start bringing munchkins into the home, but all this will have to be done before I consider kids.

    so yea...how do you do it? where does your focus come from?
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    #2
    First off, I think you need to try to remember that it's his GI bill. He doesn't have to give it to you. You don't know that he'll never use it. Maybe he'll change his mind about school, especially if he gets out early.

    I would look into grants, loans, apply for fafsa and try to make it on your own without using his GI bill. I think it would help prevent resentment and get the ball rolling. It would at least give you something to focus on while he decides what he wants to do.
  3. Pour a little salt, we were never here
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    Yea. He has said from day one I should use it because he never will. The only thing now is whether he (/we) want to add those extra years to the enlistment.

    I've asked him a billion times if he wants it ever just in case. He really hates school for deep rooted political weird reasons so I don't think he'd use it. I've been begging him to just take his couple gen ed requirements so he'd have his AF Associates or whatever it's called.

    but if there's one thing he hates more than college, it's student loans. So the resentment would only come in if I brought on a bunch of debt. But I do need to look into that stuff for sure.
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    #4
    I just do.

    I'm GOING to become a teacher, and I'm already halfway through my degree. Plus, 95% or more of my loans are in my mom's name, and I'm not going to just quit now and saddle her with all those loans that went to waste. Plus, having an education is something that is important to DH and I, and telling our kids "hey, you ARE going to college so you can get your degree" when I didn't even finish mine seems hypocritical to me.

    So yeah, it sucks because there are times when I don't want to study, and I don't want to work on lesson plans because I'd rather go on a date night with the hubby, but oh well. We'll have plenty of time for date nights later on.
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    I just wanted to point out that the Masters in Physical Therapy has been/is being phased out by APTA. It's now a Doctorate and two years longer I believe. Just something to keep in mind.
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    Oh as for a db/dh/df distracting you from studies, don't let them. Set a study plan/schedule and stick to it. It may mean planning your schedule out a week in advance, but if it means you get good grades, it's worth it right?

    It's not always fun and it may mean missing out on somethings. My boyfriend and I have already discussed that when I'm at tennis meets watching him I also will have to be studying. We also discussed that our dates may start to become sitting together with a movie on while I study and he grades.

    If it's something you really want, then nothing should stop you. So it's up to you to decide if it's worth it or not. A significant other should be supportive of your goals and understanding.

    Just my opinion for what it's worth (though hopefully it's worth something since I graduated with a 3.94 for my Masters and got a full ride to go get my PhD, I know how the school thing goes. ).
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by LadyCat View Post
    I just wanted to point out that the Masters in Physical Therapy has been/is being phased out by APTA. It's now a Doctorate and two years longer I believe. Just something to keep in mind.
    This is correct and exactly what I wanted to say.

    You cannot enter the field with a masters anymore; DPT is required. I'm in a 6 year accelerated program and you would need to do the same unless you get your BS then enter as a grad student. If you have more questions regards the specifics on this, feel free to PM me.

    Fair warning, here comes a little tough love -

    1.) DPT program is no joke. I go to school for 6 years without any breaks besides Christmas (2 weeks). The course work is extremely challenging and expectations are high. If you're struggling now and can't focus on school, I would think long and hard about this decision. I've watched way too many hardworking people fail out. Side note - the post bacs (people with their BS) just joined in with our accelerated class in January. They struggle the most. They're not used to the level at which they're now required to work and they bitch constantly. I find because they're not broken into it, they have to work even harder than us to stay above water.

    2.) Are you going to be in one place long enough to complete this degree? Are you willing to stay behind if your husband has to move away and you need to finish school? DPT is not easy to transfer from school to school. Go to the APTA website to see a list of accredited programs by state.

    3.) It's your husband's GI Bill. Even if you've talked about you using it before, it's still his to do with what he wants. There's nothing wrong with student loans and you can pay them back when you get a job and can pay for them.




    Over all - and lots of I hope you come to the decision that's right for YOU!
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    As other PPs have said, I just do. (FTR, I am in veterinary school, another doctorate program) I really would love to stop studying and go visit MF. I really would. But I wanna be a vet, so I cant. I just study, little by little every. Damn. Day. Hell, its summer vacation for me and I still type up study guides every. damn. day. It sucks, but I have made it half way through, and in 2 years when I finally finish I will be proud I did.


    Quote Originally Posted by EmilyPT View Post
    This is correct and exactly what I wanted to say.

    You cannot enter the field with a masters anymore; DPT is required. I'm in a 6 year accelerated program and you would need to do the same unless you get your BS then enter as a grad student. If you have more questions regards the specifics on this, feel free to PM me.

    Fair warning, here comes a little tough love -

    1.) DPT program is no joke. I go to school for 6 years without any breaks besides Christmas (2 weeks). The course work is extremely challenging and expectations are high. If you're struggling now and can't focus on school, I would think long and hard about this decision. I've watched way too many hardworking people fail out. Side note - the post bacs (people with their BS) just joined in with our accelerated class in January. They struggle the most. They're not used to the level at which they're now required to work and they bitch constantly. I find because they're not broken into it, they have to work even harder than us to stay above water.

    2.) Are you going to be in one place long enough to complete this degree? Are you willing to stay behind if your husband has to move away and you need to finish school? DPT is not easy to transfer from school to school. Go to the APTA website to see a list of accredited programs by state.

    3.) It's your husband's GI Bill. Even if you've talked about you using it before, it's still his to do with what he wants. There's nothing wrong with student loans and you can pay them back when you get a job and can pay for them.




    Over all - and lots of I hope you come to the decision that's right for YOU!
    And this. I reaaaally want to be a vet, so MF and I have been LD for 7 years because of it, with 2 more to go. Basically transferring DPT programs is impossible. I mean, just like vet school it *can* be done- but it isn't, so you need to go in knowing that you will most likely be left behind at some point when the military moves him and you have to stay back for schooling. Are you both prepared for this? I know its something you really want to do, but you need to make sure you are prepared in all aspects. Goodluck!
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by EmilyPT View Post
    2.) Are you going to be in one place long enough to complete this degree? Are you willing to stay behind if your husband has to move away and you need to finish school? DPT is not easy to transfer from school to school. Go to the APTA website to see a list of accredited programs by state.

    !
    This is a HUGE problem. I have completed 1.5 years of law school, and 1.5 years of work on my MSW. Problem is that we are never in one place long enough (and life happens) to finish anything I start. For me with Law School, you had to be in the top 25% of your class and I was top 27%, no joke.

    The other consideration for a career, is to make sure you understand the state to state requirements, and the implications of those requirements for a family that moves ALOT. For my family, my JD would have been next to worthless because the bar in most states is different.

    I don't see the GI Bill being "his" as a problem because your loans would be "his" too. This is what married life is all about. I would have the agreement that WHEN he wants to go to school his loans will be "yours". Programs like the GI Bill come and go so you might as well use it while you can.

    Notice I said WHEN not if. The military is a good place to be if you don't have a college education, but when you "retire" and you are still of working age, it is tough to find a civilian job that will pay you much with out one.
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    Quote Originally Posted by momto2js View Post
    This is a HUGE problem. I have completed 1.5 years of law school, and 1.5 years of work on my MSW. Problem is that we are never in one place long enough (and life happens) to finish anything I start. For me with Law School, you had to be in the top 25% of your class and I was top 27%, no joke.

    The other consideration for a career, is to make sure you understand the state to state requirements, and the implications of those requirements for a family that moves ALOT. For my family, my JD would have been next to worthless because the bar in most states is different.

    I don't see the GI Bill being "his" as a problem because your loans would be "his" too. This is what married life is all about. I would have the agreement that WHEN he wants to go to school his loans will be "yours". Programs like the GI Bill come and go so you might as well use it while you can.
    Notice I said WHEN not if. The military is a good place to be if you don't have a college education, but when you "retire" and you are still of working age, it is tough to find a civilian job that will pay you much with out one.
    Hah, yea. This is how we are. We're a team, he makes all the money, but I do all the finances. We are trying to utilize the resources available to us, because we are both in the same boat. It's "his" and "mine", it's what can we do best for our financial situation.

    I would love him to go to college, but he has other plans when he retires, and that's fine if that is what he wants. If not, as you said, we could take out loans for him at that time.
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