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Thread: To Move or Not to Move

  1. Senior Member
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    #1

    To Move or Not to Move

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    Ok, I need some good sound advice here.

    I currently live in NYC and DB is stationed in VA. We have a long history and have been LDR for a little while now. I have NO DOUBTS that we are meant to be. I have honestly never been so sure of anything in my life. I've been married...that's why I am in the city. I hate it here. I never liked it and I have no reason to still be here...except money. I make good money. I don't particular love my job because it doesn't challenge me and is not what I want to do for the rest of my life but I wouldn't dream of leaving the place...if I stayed in the city.

    A couple reasons I haven't made the move yet. Money which I already mentioned. I can save up a good amount between now and the time he gets back from his deployment scheduled for next year. The second reason is the deployment. We both think it would be better for me to be in a familiar place with people I know and I am closer to my family during the deployment.

    Here is where I am at. I am sick and effing tired of missing DB. I don't do the single life. I need affection and attention. So does he. LDR is just hard. We would much rather be living together. I can make money anywhere. It won't be as much but it will get us by. He is not currently eligible for BAH and he lives in barracks.

    So should I stay in NYC for the next year and a half or so and bank the cash so that we can start our life together financially stable or live for love and move to VA?

    I know this is a very personally decision in the fact that none of you know the ins and outs of it all. And I obviously won't be like, "Well the majority of MSOS says move, so I'm going to move." I'm just looking for some advice from any experience ya'll may have.


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  2. In vino veritas
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    #2
    If you moved down there, is he of rank that he can move off base, or would he still technically have to live on base?
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    #3
    he can move, yes.


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    #4
    He's deployed or about to be deployed? I don't see a point in moving and leaving good money to go be alone somewhere else. I'd wait until after homecoming.
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    #5
    I moved, and honestly wished I had waited. DH and I have had a very hard time getting on our feet and we're ending up moving in with my parents come december. Save money, then move. Good things come to those who wait


  6. i will NOT limbo in Idaho
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    #6
    Personally, I would never move without a ring. Especially not if I had a stable job making good money. And definitely not while he was still deployed.
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  7. In vino veritas
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    #7
    What about your lease? Can you break it? How much will it cost? Or is it up soon? How soon?
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Candice. View Post
    He's deployed or about to be deployed? I don't see a point in moving and leaving good money to go be alone somewhere else. I'd wait until after homecoming.
    He is not currently deployed but we have an idea of when he will be deploying and returning next year. but as we all know...anything could happen.

    Quote Originally Posted by briannanoel View Post
    I moved, and honestly wished I had waited. DH and I have had a very hard time getting on our feet and we're ending up moving in with my parents come december. Save money, then move. Good things come to those who wait
    that is what our good senses are telling us. Our emotions are speaking louder these days.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.VinoVet View Post
    What about your lease? Can you break it? How much will it cost? Or is it up soon? How soon?
    I currently live with a friend of mine and am free to move at any time.


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  9. Team Rocket
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    #9
    Are you sure you can get a job if you move there? It's easy to say "oh I can make money somewhere else" but the reality of it might be a lot different. If you can't, is DB okay with supporting you? Do you have any money saved up?

    How long have you guys been LDR? Have you discussed marriage yet?

    I would personally wait til after the deployment. It would be tough to live in VA alone away from your friends and family, especially if you can't find a job, or have an even shittier one.
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    #10
    I'd stay put.

    Also, what are you going to do if/when he gets orders and has to move? You'll have given up a stable, well-paying job for a year or two of being together. Would you move again and start over, career-wise, again? Or would you then stay in a city that has nothing for you, and to which you only went because he was there, and now he isn't?

    It might be a good idea to have a very firm idea of just how far you are willing to go for this before there is a more serious commitment.
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