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Thread: Favoritism

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    #1

    Favoritism

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    So some of you may know I started working at a church nursery about a month ago. I like it a lot (aside from one lady but that's a different story) but I've noticed something that's really been upsetting to me.

    There are two cousins that are there every service, a 2 year old girl and an 18 month old boy. I've noticed that everyone seems to favor the girl. It just seems very unfair to me. They just all seem to be starry eyed over her and he seems to get ignored a lot. I know it's not in my head entirely, because I've seen him get literally moved aside in favor of her by a few people.

    I know I haven't been there very long and I can't possibly know all of the story, but it's really been bothering me. I can't help but identify with the kid so that's probably why I feel so bad.

    I definitely know it's not my place to say anything, but I just want to know if there's anything I can do
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    #2
    I'm trying to think of a reason why they would favor him over her. Do you think it's because they think she's cuter or something? There could be another reason.
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    #3
    First off thats really unfair.

    Second, why not go show him some attention.

    “It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.”
    ― Rose Kennedy
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessym View Post
    I'm trying to think of a reason why they would favor him over her. Do you think it's because they think she's cuter or something? There could be another reason.
    I mean, I'm no expert but she does seem very bright for her age. Like I said, I know I don't know they entire story but there's really nothing I could think of that would make it excusable to ignore a child who is trying to hug you (general) in favor of one who is being doted on by a group already.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Lost&faraway View Post
    First off thats really unfair.

    Second, why not go show him some attention.
    That's what I've started doing.
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    #6

    Soooo. I was once told that if I had a son and a daughter my family would treat my son different then my daughter. I've seen them do it, they treat the little girls different then the little boys. Their family might be the same way. I would show the boy as much attention as you could while you can. Show him he is important to someone.

    SailorsBunny is my amazing Wifey
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Oliver View Post
    I mean, I'm no expert but she does seem very bright for her age. Like I said, I know I don't know they entire story but there's really nothing I could think of that would make it excusable to ignore a child who is trying to hug you (general) in favor of one who is being doted on by a group already.
    I was just thinking that maybe she has some kind of disease or illness that would make people want to give her more attention That's pretty sad.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessym View Post
    I was just thinking that maybe she has some kind of disease or illness that would make people want to give her more attention That's pretty sad.
    I guess it's possible, but the way they all talk on and on about her, I'd probably know if that was the case.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Oliver View Post
    I guess it's possible, but the way they all talk on and on about her, I'd probably know if that was the case.
    Yeah, that's true. If it were me, I would give all my lovin' on him
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    #10
    Unfortunately, it just happens sometimes.

    My oldest cousin (aka The Golden Boy) can do no wrong. Golden Boy has a 4 year old daughter who, while amazingly adorable, is constantly doted on. We were back home for my grandparents' 60th anniversary and that kid was adored everywhere...home, church, Wal-Mart, etc, while the other little ones were given much less attention. Not okay, but it happens.

    I would give the little guy extra attention. It's hard to live in someone's shadow sometimes. You're a good guy for noticing and wanting to help him!
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