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Thread: does anyone else deal with this?

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    armygirlfriend21's Avatar
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    #1

    Sad does anyone else deal with this?

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    My DB is really one for texting all the time nor being on the phone but we live about hour and half apart. It's hard to feel like he cares over text messages. then i get upset. but i feel like im overreacting and just missing him

    Does anyone else deal with there significant other not asking questions about your day via texts?

    how do you deal with it?
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    #2
    I think it boils down to expectations and compromise. Personally, I hate talking on the phone. A lot. I'd rather text, use instant messenger, or a voice chat service like Ventrillo or Mumble to talk (which is what my DB and I would use besides the phone) with people who I don't see every day. But text messages do lack personalization and can be easily misinterpreted, so I think there needs to be a happy medium in a LDR. I'd talk to him about it and see what his thoughts are.

    As for him asking about your day, it's been my experience than men just don't do small talk well like us women. Probably because they communicate differently than we do. They relay information when they talk, or boast and compete with each other, but they typically just don't chit chat about inane things like us. My DB is the same way. He tries to do small talk with me now, but it's hard for him, and sort of like watching a bear in a tutu trying to ride a unicycle. It's just...awkward. I wouldn't take it too personally.
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    #3
    I actually just had to deal with this with my DB. I broke down last night, cried, and told him I felt like I was losing him because he was barely texting me and giving me really short responses

    We talked it out and are better than ever. He didn't realize he was hurting me and I was being a bit insecure which I admit, I was, but I was scared

    I think you should first talk to him about the way you're feeling and maybe adjust your expectations if need be. It's probably just a miscommunication and you have nothing to worry about.
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    I mean Im glad he does text me. it shows he does care. he has slowly gotten better over the last couple months but i guess i just feel lonely just because i havent seen him. he is pretty good at asking questions and keeping a conversation when we are together. we have had that conversation several times..
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by armygirlfriend21 View Post
    I mean Im glad he does text me. it shows he does care. he has slowly gotten better over the last couple months but i guess i just feel lonely just because i havent seen him. he is pretty good at asking questions and keeping a conversation when we are together. we have had that conversation several times..
    So is the problem that you're just lonely? Maybe you could ask him to try to be a bit more intimate over the phone. Sometimes guys need a reminder.
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    #6
    Have you guys skyped? that helps so much for me and DB.
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    #7
    no we dont he isnt one to like to sit in front of a cam..
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by armygirlfriend21 View Post
    no we dont he isnt one to like to sit in front of a cam..
    That's not fair. You asked him? Sorry if that's a weird question. Just making sure lol.
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    #9
    yeah. its just he is so busy sometimes. he cant be at a computer.and sometimes nor am i.
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    #10
    dh never asks how my day is in texts, and I never ask him.

    we rarely text each other thru out the day unless it is a weekend.
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