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Thread: Speechless [update in Post #18]

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    #1

    Wow Speechless [update in Post #18]

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    Okay, so here's the background. My mom is in her 50s, never been married (not even to my dad), and had a year relationship about 5 years ago with a man, in which they ended up breaking up over various reasons. This was her only lengthy relationship since I can remember; she never dated with my twin and I in the house.

    Well, she met another guy she knew in high school for the first time since then a month or so ago. He came and stayed with her in Texas, and I met him once when I went down to do some wedding planning. He's...interesting. But, my philosophy is ALWAYS if he makes my mom happy, I'm happy. The second my mom became unhappy in her previous relationship, I was unhappy. But I remember she of course had a several month "honeymoon period" with her ex, and she could see no wrong.

    Sooo...fast-forward to today. I eat my breakfast this morning and get on Facebook. Her new boyfriend of a couple months (I GUESS they were dating, even though it was never really announced), sent me one of those cartoon pictures where you paste your heads on a picture and it says "just married" with him and my mom. He then sent "please don't call your mom until after 9 AM, as she needs to get some rest."



    One of the BIGGEST things that bothers me about this, is my mom and I have always been REALLY close. I lost my grandad recently, and he was my other support. Mom always drifts away from us when she meets a new guy. I don't know if this is normal, but now they're married?! And she didn't even have the kindness to TALK to me about it. I know nothing I say matters, but still?! It just seems like a slap in the face hearing about it this way.

    Not to mention, I'm almost positive they're still in their honeymoon phase, and she's going to just run off and get married for the FIRST time after a month, when she doesn't even know him yet? He hasn't even met my twin sister, and I know that doesn't matter that much, but I would personally be hurt if I were her.

    I don't know. I JUST found out and my thoughts are so jumbled. I don't know if I should call her and congratulate them or just think about it. I really don't know. I'm angry, confused, hurt, and honestly, a little excited for her all at the same time. AND I worry that he'll take her away to another state like her ex did, and I'll never see her

    Any advice? I'm so lost right now.
    Last edited by Sooner*twin; 06-16-2012 at 09:14 PM. Reason: update
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    #2
    Strange.

    If it were me, I would never believe a boyfriend over my own mother so as soon as it turned 9, I'd be calling to ask if she got married. A picture is just a picture & this guy could just be & think something like that is cute.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
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    I know this sounds strange, but the picture is hard to see. Now that I look at it, it looks like it could ACTUALLY be them on a beach with him holding the sign "just married." It's hard to tell, because it's so bright. And I assumed it was a cartoon thingy, because he had sent me one of my aunt before. But it definitely looks like it might be real, and I know they were near the beach recently.

    Ughhh. The problem is if I call to confirm, I have to say something. Just congratulations? I feel like that's all I can muster out right now. And I definitely don't want to talk to him right now. So awkward...
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Mary4 View Post
    I know this sounds strange, but the picture is hard to see. Now that I look at it, it looks like it could ACTUALLY be them on a beach with him holding the sign "just married." It's hard to tell, because it's so bright. And I assumed it was a cartoon thingy, because he had sent me one of my aunt before. But it definitely looks like it might be real, and I know they were near the beach recently.

    Ughhh. The problem is if I call to confirm, I have to say something. Just congratulations? I feel like that's all I can muster out right now. And I definitely don't want to talk to him right now. So awkward...
    I would call, confirm it, & if she is married, offer congratulations but ask why she didn't tell you.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
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    #5
    I hope it's not real

    My mom is one of my best friends. If she were to ever be single and dating (she and my dad are still married), and then actually went and got married without telling me and without having me there... I would be CRUSHED. And then her bf telling me instead of her... I really hope it's just meant to be a joke
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by MS234755 View Post
    I hope it's not real

    My mom is one of my best friends. If she were to ever be single and dating (she and my dad are still married), and then actually went and got married without telling me and without having me there... I would be CRUSHED. And then her bf telling me instead of her... I really hope it's just meant to be a joke
    I know, I wanted to be there Stuff like that is really really important to me, and she knows that. I just tried calling and no one answered I'm sure she knows I'm hurt. I'm hoping it's a joke, but I honestly don't think it is.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Mary4 View Post
    I know, I wanted to be there Stuff like that is really really important to me, and she knows that. I just tried calling and no one answered I'm sure she knows I'm hurt. I'm hoping it's a joke, but I honestly don't think it is.
    if it were me and it wasn't a joke, I'd be beyond pissed off. I'm not sure my relationship with my mom would survive something like that. I hope it really was a joke
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    #8
    I don't know...but I'm the type of daughter that unless my mom asks me not to call untill after 9....There is no one that can make me not call before that if I need or want my mom.

    And I'd call and ask...but you can do what I did to my dad when I asked him if he got married and he said yes....I said "Well, that's interesting."
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Mary4 View Post
    I know, I wanted to be there Stuff like that is really really important to me, and she knows that. I just tried calling and no one answered I'm sure she knows I'm hurt. I'm hoping it's a joke, but I honestly don't think it is.
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    #10
    She is an adult, if she chose to get married with out her adult daughters permission then that is her choice. She is under no obligation to ask you if its ok for her to get married or even what your opinion on the matter is. I think that if she is happy then you should be as well, no matter the circumstances, and if she is married, and it fails, then be there for her.


    No one is guaranteed happiness. You can pursue it, but if you happen to find success along the way on that road to happiness, Conservatives believe you should not be demonized or penalized for it.
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