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Thread: Was it really a Good idea?

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    Element02's Avatar
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    #1

    Help Was it really a Good idea?

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    So my sister met this girl (a friend of a friend) from her school, and I guess they became really good friends. Well, the said-girl that my sister became friends with had dropped out of High School about a year ago and was working to get her GED.

    Well, I guess, the girl was being sexually abused at home, finally got kicked out her parents house, started living in another town and living off a family-friend, and texted my sister saying that she had been kicked out of her house and needed a place to live.

    She went to my sister first because she has a huge crush on my sister and wants to date her. My sister is not interested in the girl, but agreed to help since the girl is 'supposedly' a sweetie.
    Well, my sister asked me if I could house her friend

    So now...I have agreed to let the girl (18 yrs old) stay at my house in return for her keeping the house clean while me and my roomie are at work (since she cannot pay rent or afford food and etc). Meanwhile, I will be tutoring her so that she can get her GED and then find a job.
    I would like to think that I am doing this girl a favor...but do you really think it was a good idea to let her stay with me? i mean, I don't even know her...and she's so young...and, well, has bad habits (like the last time she failed her GED test was because she went to class with a hangover ).

    What do you all think?
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    Nope, only because I have tried the "cleaning for rent" thing and it never works out.
    Why couldn't she stay with your sister?
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    #3
    I think if you do let her stay with you you need to set some major ground rules. Like put in writing rules. #1 being no drinking (orany other habits she may have) at your house. You can get in trouble for that, and that is not something you need. Also, what does it say on your lease about guests? Most rentals I've been in won't let you have someone stay longer than two weeks without being on the lease. Set a time limit for her stay so it isn't just an open ended live off of me situation and make sure that her responsibilities are well defined in the agreement you write up.

    I'm not saying it's a bad idea, it's a great thing, in theory, to help someone out like that. But make sure you are smart about it and don't end up getting screwed.
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    #4
    A couple of other things to consider- why did she get kicked out of her family friend's house, and how would Taz feel about her living with you.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by maegan View Post
    A couple of other things to consider- why did she get kicked out of her family friend's house, and how would Taz feel about her living with you.
    This.

    I think it's an honorable thing that you want to help her out, but it seems like this situation can only go bad.

    Good luck!



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    #6
    I would be cautious since you have already agreed to take her in.

    You will need a written contract. Make sure you have two of them and get her to sign both copies (and you sign both) detailing what is expected of her while staying in your home. Housework, studying, meals whatever it is.

    I would also detail bathroom, television and computer usage if those things will be under consideration. Oh and another thing I would address is friends and having them over and the drinking since she is underage.

    I would do all that to protect yourself since you do not know this young lady. Make it clear that you are not trying to be her parent but you do have certain expectations if she is to be living there. Also you will need to address her looking for a job while she is there and your expectations for that.



    You could also add a "trial period" of a couple weeks and let her know that if it isn't working out for you that she will be needing to look for other accommodations. Tell her if she is not serious about getting her GED, doing housekeeping in exchange for boarding and meals then she needs to decide now because you are not a flop house. Then let her know that you will have a meeting at the end of her trial period to see how things are going and to see if you are willing to continue the arrangement for another period of time. Continue to set periods of time when you will terminate the agreement so it doesn't become open ended and a mess.
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    #7
    I think it's a bad idea- she's practically living scott free while you provide her shelter and food. She could at least be looking for a job and help contribute for food.
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    #8
    I think that's a very delicate situation!
    Its great that you want to help her and tutor her so she can attempt to make something of her life. However, the real question is why does she keep getting kicked out of all the other places she's been living? There is WAY to much possibility for something to go horribly wrong.
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    #9
    In my experience situations like that rarely work out. Fingers crossed it does for you. I agree with PPs saying rules need to be set in stone, have a signed contract and I really like the trial period idea.
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    #10
    I'm going to say no, only because I feel she has a lot of issues that you may not be prepared to deal with.
    Generally those that have been sexually abused act out in numerous ways (i.e., being promiscuous, stealing, lying, low self-esteem, anger, inappropriate behaviors, addiction) to name a few.
    She's 18 and homeless. You'd best serve her by getting her into a women's shelter with counseling available.

    There's no harm in saying no. Offer to help place her but letting her live with you would be a huge undertaking. I'm thinking within a week you'd be regretting your decision.
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