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Thread: Co workers not beleiving....

  1. Kas
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    #1

    Co workers not beleiving....

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    Ok so I'm new but I've been having this problem since I started working at my current job last Oct. I work nights and I have these co-workers who are always putting DB and I down. Stating that since he's in Germany that he's not faithful. I trust him with my heart but I can't seem to get these people to understand. I have gone as high up as I can. Plz
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    #2
    If you know he's faithful why care what other people are saying? Just ignore them, they're probably just trying to get under your skin, and you're letting them.
  3. Ummmmm...........
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    #3
    I'm sure it hurts to hear people say that but if you have taken it as high as you can with no results I'm not sure what else you can do except tell people to keep your relationship out of their mouths.

    LD military relationships have a stigma of not being monagomus and that's just how it is. People hear the bad stories and thats what they run with.

    Many hugs to you. I have been lucky enough that I haven't had to deal with that bull.

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    #4
    You can't make them believe, and going to your management with this is a bad idea. It makes you look extremely unprofessional. This is a personal matter. It isn't against the law for them to say your husband is cheating on you, so there is nothing they can do and asking them to intervene isn't going to make you look very good, I'm sure.

    You'll never make them believe. Just shrug and walk away. So what if they think your DH is screwing around. You know he isn't and since these people aren't in your relationship, their opinions don't matter.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
  5. I enjoy messing with people ;)
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    #5
    I've met this problem before, not because DF is deployed but just as an LDR. Before it was brought up, it actually never occurred to me that he would be cheating. But I trusted him many times over how much I "trusted" the acquaintances/fellow students/coworkers that brought it up, and so it never bothered me. I just brushed it off, and they learned to leave it alone.

    If they do it just to spite you, you could comment on their evident lack of ability to hold trust in a relationship. When you don't live with your SO, the trust factor in an LDR is just like any other relationship. If anyone makes an attempt to hide cheating, they can get away with it whether they in the same city, or in another country. It's all up to trust. Their opinions mean nothing.
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  6. Kas
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    #6
    See I agree with all of you ladies and I trust my DB. Yes it made me think at first but I talked to him about it, so peaceful mind here. But I can't walk away. I joke at work that I have my own bubble cuz I have a little work space, so they come to me. I tell them all night long I don't care what they think. I'm young but not stupid. BTW Yes going to higher up was dif a bad idea. Thank you!
  7. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #7
    I realize this is a moot point now, but things like this are exactly why I pick and choose who I share certain aspects of my relationship with. Some people have no filter and like to be up in everyone's business.

    Best advice now, stop telling them all night long that you don't care. You may say you don't care, but your actions (engaging with them for lengthy periods of time) are showing them that you DO care. You care, they have gotten under your skin, and they can pick and needle you about it. Do your best to ignore them and shut them down (I know it's hard!) and they will learn that they cannot get a reaction out of you.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    I realize this is a moot point now, but things like this are exactly why I pick and choose who I share certain aspects of my relationship with. Some people have no filter and like to be up in everyone's business.

    Best advice now, stop telling them all night long that you don't care. You may say you don't care, but your actions (engaging with them for lengthy periods of time) are showing them that you DO care. You care, they have gotten under your skin, and they can pick and needle you about it. Do your best to ignore them and shut them down (I know it's hard!) and they will learn that they cannot get a reaction out of you.
    if you stop giving them a reaction then they will likely grow bored of bugging you about it and move on to something else. It isn't easy to do but if you can just ignore them and not play into their comments then, with some time, it will likely die down.
  9. Happy wife...happy life!
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    #9
    Ditto Tojai! Quit sharing your personal life with your co-workers.
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    #10


    I agree with Tojai.

    It is tough though. I've had people make comments like that to me and it would certainly make me think too much. But talking it through with DF was always helpful. Sounds like you did that.
    I know that I don't react and it stops. The other reaction that honestly made a few people stop was, "You don't know me the way you think you do, you DON'T know him at all, and you know nothing about our relationship if you honestly think what you're saying is true. So keep your opinions to yourself."


    Similarly and more recently, I did have this coworker. She recently called off her 5th engagement... and then proceeded to tell me, "All men think they own you after they put a ring on your finger. Just watch. He'll think he's in charge of you." Me: "Umm not exactly. We actually love each other and control isn't love. Sorry you've made poor decisions about men" And she's kept her mouth shut since.
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