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Thread: wedding crashers?

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    #1

    wedding crashers?

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    Ok, so DH has a sister. His sister has 2 friends that came to the wedding, we will call them sarah and mary(sarah's sister). Sarah, I understand because it's his sisters best friend and she's known DH forever. The other, Mary? Well, we were asked to put her on the list because she's Sarah's sister and met DH before. Well, they acted like total jackasses.

    First of all, they both brought dates when they weren't supposed to. Sarah did not RSVP a date and Mary RSVP'd for one she wasn't supposed to bring and my in-laws told her not to bring him (their decision) and she did anyways.

    Second, they took lots of liquor shots. I didn't want liquor at the wedding AT ALL but I agreed to it because I was told by my in-laws that "you're only inviting responsible people". Well, I guess not. Because they got drunk and broke a wine glass on the dance floor, danced super inappropriately (when they were the ONLY ones on the dance floor), inserted themselves in lots of pictures (like, one of all my guys with their cigars and Sarah is smack in the middle of it and the photographer had to tell her to move) etc. The DJ made a comment about them to me. The photographer made a comment about them. Etc.

    I just got all the wedding pics and it's so frustrating. I have no desire to ever see them again. What I'm trying to figure out is if I should talk to DH's sister about it and tell her, or just drop it. She participated in the shots (oh, and I forgot to mention, she missed the cake cutting because she was taking shots with Sarah).

    I mean, I would NOT say they ruined the night, but it is a dark spot on the evening and they will NOT be in my wedding album under any circumstances. I don't want to unjustly bring it up, but I also don't want to get walked all over.

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  2. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #2
    In that situation I would ask my DH to talk to her since it's his family ... I'm just more comfortable with him handling family issues with his side, mine with mine, etc. And it seems that these kinds of concerns are taken more seriously and less defensively when it comes from a blood relative vs. an in-law.

    I'm sorry they acted like that though, and I think it's entirely reasonable to not want to see them anymore. If it were me I would probably say that they are not going to be invited to any of my events ever again. Their behavior was completely inexcusable! His sister should have put a stop it.
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    #3
    That's a tough one to me. It's in the past, so there's not much you can do about it, but at the same time I personally think their irresponsible as well as immature behavior should be addressed (maybe by your DH instead of you). I just wouldn't want them thinking that what they had done was appropriate or okay, so when the next big event (family get to together, vow renewel, anniversary party, etc) comes along they might be a little more responsible and courteous, kwim?

    My brother showed up to my wedding strung out and even though, like you, he didn't ruin the wedding, he was a big dark spot over the entire day. I confronted him on it afterwards so he knew that type of behavior wouldn't be tolerated in our lives or any future events.



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    #4
    You already got walked all over when you let them come and let their dates stay. Seems like an afterthought to bring it up now.
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    #5
    that's a tough situation. honestly, it is in the past right? If it was me, I would probably say something in a nice way, as nice as i could be, telling her I'd didn't appericate what happened. but then again it really depends on the person i would be confronting also. If they aren't the type that handles confrontation very well i wouldn't


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    #6
    For me... since its over and done with I would just forget it and moved on. Talking to them now really wont fix anything since its in the past. I would however keep this in my for future events you may have like this and talk to your DH BEFORE the event and have him talk to his sister and tell her she needs to behave appropriately or she isn't invited.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by pinkpolkadots View Post
    You already got walked all over when you let them come and let their dates stay. Seems like an afterthought to bring it up now.
    I hate to say it, but I agree with this.

    I'd have said something AT the wedding. Yep. Those additional guests would have been asked to leave or fork over cash for their food and drinks. I don't put up with that crap.



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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by pinkpolkadots View Post
    You already got walked all over when you let them come and let their dates stay. Seems like an afterthought to bring it up now.
    I have to agree with this. Bringing up what happened now won't change anything; if they're the type of people to behave like this at a wedding they always will be IMO. I would just move on and cut them out of your life.
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    #9
    I think it's too late to say anything. The damage is already done. If they were such a huge problem, which they obviously were, then you should have brought it up at the wedding. Now would just be a waste, IMO.

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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by pinkpolkadots View Post
    You already got walked all over when you let them come and let their dates stay. Seems like an afterthought to bring it up now.
    Ok, this is me getting defensive I think, but I was the only one who realized they had dates and didn't know they were there until the reception. Ya know, white dress, make-up, hair done... I wasn't exactly hob-nobbing before the nuptuals. And everyone else thought they were someone someone else knew. When you have SO many people there who don't know each other, it's hard to have anyone else police it. And at that point, after the ceremony/announcements/first dance/meal, it seems like it would have created more of a scene to ask someone to leave.
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