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Thread: miscarriage

  1. his baby sloth
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    #1

    miscarriage

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    There's a young woman on my husbands boat who had a miscarriage months ago. She's never talked about it with anyone except to inform her husband that she lost the child. She was depressed for months and no one saw her during that time. Recently she messaged me and asked if I'd be willing to meet her for coffee. Of course, I agreed. I'm sure that she wants to talk to me about the experience because everyone on our boat knows that I helped a close friend through a similar situation a few days ago. But it was easy and natural for me to comfort my friend because we were more like sisters. I knew exactly what to say to her because I knew who she was and what she needed. I've only met this woman once or twice so I'm not sure what I should say. If anyone could offer me some words of advice I'd greatly appreciate it. Since this is her first time opening up to someone I would hate to say the wrong thing.
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    #2
    Maybe just listening would be the best. I know personally after my miscarriage a few months ago I just wanted someone to listen to what I had to say and that assure me that those feelings were normal. It's a lot to go through and it is so nice of you to be there for her.
    Mommyof2in09 is my Irish Twin Mommy Wifey
  3. his baby sloth
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    Thanks for the advice. I think you're probably right especially since I don't know her too well and don't want to say the wrong thing. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Thanks, I know I don't know what's she's feeling since I have never been there, but I can't imagine how hard it is and I feel honored that she picked me to open up to.
  4. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #4
    First I wouldn't mention anything about it unless she does. She may just want a friend to talk to and not neccassarily about her loss. I practically hibernated in my apartment for 3 months after my loss and dreaded people bringing up the fact that I didn't have a growing belly.
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    #5
    I agree, just be there to listen. When we lost our son, i just wanted someone to listen to me, someone to cry to, and i didn't want to hear maybe it happened for a reason and god has another plan.



  6. Luke 6:37 & Matthew 7:1-2
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    #6
    Just because she wants to meey for coffee does not mean she wants to talk about it, don't say anything unless she does. Maybe she just wants to get to know you more.
    Rissa*Rawr is my Wifey as of 1/24/2012
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by better2gether View Post
    Maybe just listening would be the best. I know personally after my miscarriage a few months ago I just wanted someone to listen to what I had to say and that assure me that those feelings were normal. It's a lot to go through and it is so nice of you to be there for her.
    Quote Originally Posted by *Emma* View Post
    First I wouldn't mention anything about it unless she does. She may just want a friend to talk to and not neccassarily about her loss. I practically hibernated in my apartment for 3 months after my loss and dreaded people bringing up the fact that I didn't have a growing belly.


    If she brings it up -- "I'm so sorry for your loss, I'm here for you" is likely what she needs and wants to hear. From there, just listen. I agree with better2gether, I wanted reassurance that my feelings were normal. Heck, I still want reassurance that my feelings are normal.

    And, if she doesn't want to talk about it, don't push. She may need a friend right now and is testing the waters before opening up. KWIM?

    I hope you're able to help her, and that the two of you each gain a new friend in the process.

  8. his baby sloth
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    Quote Originally Posted by WhiskeyGirl View Post
    Just because she wants to meey for coffee does not mean she wants to talk about it, don't say anything unless she does. Maybe she just wants to get to know you more.
    Her husband actually talked to mine right after she asked to meet because she told him she was going to pick one person she thought she could trust to discuss it. My husband told me, which is how I know she wants to talk about it. But i don't intend to bring it up until after she does.
  9. his baby sloth
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    #9
    Thanks everyone for your advice. I truly appreciate it.
  10. The best part of my day is seeing his smile.
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    #10
    Sometimes listening and knowing that someone cares is the best help
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