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Thread: Devastated and Confused (long)

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    #1

    Sad Devastated and Confused (long)

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    So a couple days ago, DB broke to me that he doesn't think he feels the same about me anymore and that he may not want to be with me anymore. He asked for time to figure it all out, and asked for us to take a break. But then he has been begging me to still go to the corpsman ball with him. I had already booked a hair appointment (because I am hopeless with my own hair), bought a gorgeous new dress and shoes, and I had been looking forward to this forever. Now I guess I am going just to try show him that we could work things out.

    But I have no idea how I am supposed to react to this, but I am completely devastated right now. He was talking marriage not even a month ago, and we were looking at adopting a puppy together. Now suddenly, he doesn't want to be with me anymore?? He recently found out that he didn't pick up rank and he was getting deployed about the same time I will be applying to medical schools this fall. I know it has stressing him out, and he hates that I spend so much time alone while he works. Could he just be freaking out about the future?

    Please, I need some advice. My friends just don't have the same types of relationships that I have with my navy man, so their advice is all over the place...
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    #2
    If it were me I would not go to the ball with him. If he needs time apart to figure things out, then he you need to actually give him time apart. Don't call, text, or see him. Give him the time he asked for.


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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by briannanoel View Post
    If it were me I would not go to the ball with him. If he needs time apart to figure things out, then he you need to actually give him time apart. Don't call, text, or see him. Give him the time he asked for.


    He asked for all this and I think if you went with him it would just...confuse..(guess that's the word I'm looking for) even more.
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    #4
    He want's a break but still want's you to go to the ball with him. I wouldn't go. It's not fair to put you in a emotionally confusing situation.
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by NavyLove1106 View Post
    So a couple days ago, DB broke to me that he doesn't think he feels the same about me anymore and that he may not want to be with me anymore. He asked for time to figure it all out, and asked for us to take a break. But then he has been begging me to still go to the corpsman ball with him. I had already booked a hair appointment (because I am hopeless with my own hair), bought a gorgeous new dress and shoes, and I had been looking forward to this forever. Now I guess I am going just to try show him that we could work things out.
    Can you take the dress and shoes back or wear them to a different event? If yes, I say don't go with him. If not, then go since you've spent the money already. However, after the ball, give him the space he requested.







    I'm a good girl People make me do bad things

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    At first, I told him I didn't want to go because he needed this "space" but when he got the tickets, he was just so excited and told me that he it woud mean the world to him if I went. I feel liked I'm darned if I do, and darned if I don't.

    I have been giving him the space he asked for, not communicating with him at all, but he keeps texting me. Asking if my car was holding up, about other corpsmen telling him how excited they are to meet me finally, and then just now: my uncle called him and invited us to his wedding next month, and he said he was really excited to go together.

    I feel like a silly little girl right now with all these mixed signals.
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    and I spent months saving up to have the dress made, so I can't return it
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by NavyLove1106 View Post
    At first, I told him I didn't want to go because he needed this "space" but when he got the tickets, he was just so excited and told me that he it woud mean the world to him if I went. I feel liked I'm darned if I do, and darned if I don't.

    I have been giving him the space he asked for, not communicating with him at all, but he keeps texting me. Asking if my car was holding up, about other corpsmen telling him how excited they are to meet me finally, and then just now: my uncle called him and invited us to his wedding next month, and he said he was really excited to go together.

    I feel like a silly little girl right now with all these mixed signals.
    So what? It means the world to you to have him actually be your boyfriend and he's not following through on that.


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    #9
    Like PPs... I'd say... he wants a break? Needs to figure things out without you? Then no sexy-new-dress-and-shoes-hair-all-did lady friend to bring to the ball.

    I would tell him that he is sending you mixed signals and either he wants to work on your relationship together OR he can deal with it on his own. He can't choose to be on a break and get the complete opposite. Does he not know how that hurts you? Tell him. Tell him what you've told us. You have a say in your relationship!
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by briannanoel View Post
    So what? It means the world to you to have him actually be your boyfriend and he's not following through on that.
    You took the words right outta my fingers!

    If he's acting this way now OP, how's he going to act when it's over? He may tell you now that he wants to go to the wedding, but whos to say, right before, he doesn't "need his space again". Just seems a bit odd to me. I know you already spent the money and you can't take it back, but think about it this way, would you rather take the loss of money or the chance of getting your heart broken later on down the road?
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