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Thread: Child Support Issues

  1. Fresh Newbie
    simply_moi's Avatar
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    Jun 2012

    Child Support Issues

    Hi, I'm new to all of this. I'm not an Army wife, but my child's father is currently in the Army. He recently left me for someone else leaving me alone to care for our 4 year old child. I'm also a full time college student majoring in BS nursing. I'm not asking for much for him, but just to provide a little support for his daughter. The thing is, when he enlisted, he never claimed that he has a child. Will this be a problem with the processing of child support. I tried to keep it as civil as possible not getting the "law" involved, but it seems like he isn't making any efforts in helping me support our child.

    I recently filed for child support at state, but they told me that it usually take 3 months for the paper work to process. I mentioned that he was getting deployed soon and all they told me was that it's going to take longer because of his deployment. It's really hard finding support. A lot of people don't really care these days

    He's even made threats at me telling me that he'll tell his mother to stop watching our child while I'm at school which would force me to drop out of the nursing program because no one will take care of our child. I'm not trying to bad mouth anyone, but since he's left, he hasn't once, spent time with our daughter. She's already starting to question his whereabouts and I have no idea what to tell her. I don't want her to have any anger towards him, but at the same time I don't want to lie to her.

    I'm looking for any advice at all that will help assist me with this.

    Thanks in advance....
  2. Old Newbie
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    Oct 2011
    I'm sorry to hear about your relationship challenges. These situations are difficult for everybody involved. You sound like you are being pretty level headed, despite how much this all hurts. That is a good first step.

    The answers to your questions are complicated. And this is the internet, so don't believe everything you read.

    He should tell the army he has a kid, because he should be able to get BAH-DIFF - which is more money. There is a chance he actually did, and is pocketing the difference.

    The army has rules that he must support his kid. So if you contact his command, they will force him to. But he gets in trouble if you do that, so it would be better to talk to him first. But remember emotions are high, so try not to threaten.

    His mom providing care does have value - equal to what it would cost to have someone else care for your kid. It would be a good idea to talk with her about all this, because her perspective is going to be very important. She may be willing to provide care regardless of what he tells her. Or perhaps she would let you pay her some (out of his child support) for care?

    Oh, and to get BAH-DIFF, he has to claim that his child support is at least that amount.

    As far as your daughter is concerned, tell her he is in the army training. Ask him for a picture of him in uniform to put somewhere. She is a little too young to really understand, but she will probably accept what you say and understand better as she gets older.

    Good luck.
  3. You are here.
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    is his name on the certificate? the military may need proof (ie DNA test) that he is the father and then you can go to court to get child support. I have no idea how you would be able to get his check garnished for support if yo ugo that route, but he can set up an allottment if need be.
  4. Senior Member
    dekeoboe's Avatar
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    Is there a custody agreement between the two of you? If not, it is possible that once you start the process of getting child support from him (which will be something you will probably have to do through the courts) he will get in trouble for a fraudulent enlistment as he lied about having any children.

    Also, in case you didn't know, she is eligible for health care under him, so make sure you include that information when you contact a lawyer to start the child support process.
  5. Dancing Backwards in High Heels
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    Contact a lawyer. Ask the judge for an expedited hearing so he can get you in quicker and get the order done before he deploys so it will be taken directly from his check. Good luck!
  6. Senior Member
    Grosie's Avatar
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    Your best bet is to get a lawyer. These situations are difficult to deal with on your own. The military can help sometimes but only to a certain extent.
  7. Roe
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    Jul 2011
    Get a Lawyer. I know it seems expensive, but it's worth it. Also many jurisdictions allow for petitioners to seek attorney fees when seeking support and incidental matters.

    Often states seek child support without addressing other issues. You may be able to bring up the issue of additional funds to cover the loss of child care if he gets his mother to stop watching her for you. Also ask about an order for your daughter's entitled tri-care; otherwise you would have to put your child on the state Medicare/Medicaid. It may work it may not.

    Other ideas, since the legal swearing in ceremony often occurs in May, you can check with you local/state bar to see if there are any new family law attorneys in your area. The new ones are hungry, lower costs and may work with you about a payment plan. He or she may not start until you pay a minimum amount, but it’s worth a try.

    Since you are a student, if there is a law school where you go to school they may have a legal clinic that could help as well!

    Good luck!

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