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Thread: I love my cousins, but...

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    #1

    Confused I love my cousins, but...

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    DH's cousin and his wife live about 2 minutes away from me. I love them dearly and they've been wonderful to me ever since we met 2 years ago, and especially since DH left for BMT on May 1. We hang out and they invite me over to the house for BBQ's. I love spending time with them, but a big problem has developed: their dog. They have a 70 pound male husky, about 7 months old now. Sadly, they have turned this gorgeous dog into a nightmare. He's so out of control that I'm afraid to go to the house anymore, and I definitely can't bring my little yorkiepoo over anymore. Before this dog, they bought a husky from a pet store but ended up "returning" him because he was sick, and then they bought this new husky from the same store. Brilliant. Anyway, they allow the dog to jump and run all over the furniture, and he's already destroyed an entire leather couch. I can't even sit down without him jumping on top of me. Plus, he nips constantly. They don't understand that they're teaching him to do it! They play tug of war with him and allow him to nip them. He actually bit DH's cousin on the ear. Last week I went to the house for a BBQ and thankfully they kept the dog inside most of the day. So in the evening I brought my dog over since the husky was safely in the house. My cousin couldn't bear the thought of her husky being cooped up in the house, so she brought him outside too. He went for my dog's neck and almost knocked me into the hot grill. And they do nothing about it! He nipped a little girl that was there too. Not to mention the dog still pees everywhere. They got him fixed yesterday, so I'm hoping that helps a little, but his behavior is only going to get worse if they let it. I don't know what to do because I love my cousins. The wife is the main problem. She's younger than me so I don't want to seem condescending. She treats the dog like he's a human baby. Granted, I treat my dog like family too, but I don't refer to her as my "daughter" the way my cousin calls her dog her "son." I set clear boundaries for my dog and always keep in mind that she is, in fact, a dog, no matter how human she may seem at times. I've tried to casually talk about dog psychology/behavior with my cousin. I even gave her my copy of Cesar Millan's latest book about raising puppies. It's gone in one ear and out the other. As for inviting them to my place, it's not much of an option. I have a small apartment, they have a big house. Plus my cousin doesn't want to leave her dog. Any advice?
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    #2
    You've done as much as you can.

    They have an untrained dog and it's only going to be a bad news situation for everyone involved and potentially a lawsuit.

    If it were my apartment, they would not be welcome with the dog.
  3. I just can't even...
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    #3
    It's their dog there's nothing you can really do except stop going to their apartment.
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    #4
    I definitely am concerned that they'll be sued in the future, because this dog is going to bite someone. It's only a matter of time. He's not aggressive, he's just not provided proper boundaries & training. Them getting sued is not my problem though. It's hard because I enjoy spending time with them, and they're kind of homebodies, so it's hard to say "hey let's go out instead." It's mainly because the wife's teenage siblings practically live at the house on the weekends. So if I go to the house, the dog is there. But if my cousin (whose 22) and I go out, she always brings her fifteen year old sister, who is a GIANT pain in the ass. That's a whole other issue lol now that I think about it. The main thing is I don't want to hurt my cousin's feelings, especially since they're so supportive and generous.
  5. I just can't even...
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    #5
    Well they're adults, not children (whether they are mature adults isn't the issue) if they don't train their dog and it bites someone they'll have to deal with the consequences.

    But the dog is still a puppy. Yes, now is the time to train- but it's still a puppy.
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    #6
    You seem to know about training and truly care about the situation. Maybe if they see you stand your ground with the dog, they'll learn from it?

    I have little to no tolerance for people who don't educate themselves on the breed of dog or invest the time it takes to train the dog. If it hurts someone, the dog could pay with its life.

    ETA: If it's from a pet store, there could be other issues with temperament if it came from a puppy mill. Training is simply mandatory as well as a thorough veterinary check.
    Last edited by Mimi90; 06-02-2012 at 03:26 PM. Reason: Forgotten line
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Hottie. View Post
    It's their dog there's nothing you can really do except stop going to their apartment.
    ditto....whatever happens happens, and they may need a lawsuit or the cops over for them to realize that they have a huge issue. some people need that bleak and blunt incident to make changes. end game, if it bothers yo uso much, you can choose to not associate with them, or be around their dog. as to them calling hteir dog a daughter, some people do see their animals like their kids. My sis does, they can't have kids, and i don't see an issue with whatsoever, their cup of tea.
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    #8
    Mimi, I totally agree. It breaks my heart to see dogs deprived of the life they should have. I'm hoping he grows out of some of this, and that neutering helps, but it can only help so much if they keep letting him run wild. And plus they want to get another dog when their husky turns a year old. The idea makes me cringe. And as for dogs being like kids, absolutely! My dog is my furry baby! I would do anything for her. But I think referring to a dog as a "son" or "daughter" is a little much, and perhaps even a bit of a slight to people with kids. Raising a dog is just like raising a child in many ways, but raising an actual son or daughter is a thousand times more difficult.
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Mimi90 View Post
    You've done as much as you can.

    They have an untrained dog and it's only going to be a bad news situation for everyone involved and potentially a lawsuit.

    If it were my apartment, they would not be welcome with the dog.



    "If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under." - President Ronald Reagan
  10. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #10
    I agree there is not much more you can do. Definitely don't take your dog over there any more, their husky sounds totally out of control.

    Maybe an option would be to suggest getting together somewhere else, like all having a coffee at Starbucks or something?
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