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Thread: Venting

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    #1

    Venting

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    So my boyfriend is leaving for bootcamp in 3 days. Does anyone have any advice? I can't sleep. I can't eat. I don't know what to do with myself right now. I'm strong around him except for a few tears that slipped. I smiled them off around him but still. This is killing me.
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    #2
    Calm Down. Deep breaths and repeat..."no matter how much I love him, it's not the end of the world". Then hop on here and start your journey with some awesome people!

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    #3
    Try to focus on anything other than the fact that he's away. Focus on work, school, family, friends, a hobby. Anything will help.
  4. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessym View Post
    Try to focus on anything other than the fact that he's away. Focus on work, school, family, friends, a hobby. Anything will help.
    Staying busy is good.

    Also I know it's not exactly the same situation, but one thing that helped me get through deployment was someone telling me that thousands of wives had gone through them before me, and thousands would do it after me. It just helped put in perspective that this separation IS doable and that I WILL get though it. It was sort of my mantra while I was adjusting to him being away.

    (That advice can come off as dismissive to some and I promise that is not how I mean it).
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    Staying busy is good.

    Also I know it's not exactly the same situation, but one thing that helped me get through deployment was someone telling me that thousands of wives had gone through them before me, and thousands would do it after me. It just helped put in perspective that this separation IS doable and that I WILL get though it. It was sort of my mantra while I was adjusting to him being away.

    (That advice can come off as dismissive to some and I promise that is not how I mean it).

    I love this advice. I'm kind of the same way. I take the first day to cry and be sad. The next day, I tell myself that others have done it, we can do it too. I remind myself that it is not forever and I CAN and WILL do this.

    Find things to keep you busy, write letters, dream of the future, and when it's over, you will be so proud of both of you for enduring!
  6. I enjoy messing with people ;)
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    #6
    You seem to be doing great staying strong so far (:

    Keeping busy is definitely the strongest aspect. Keep him in mind, but don't let his absence take over your life. Don't give up just because he's not there. Pick up new hobbies, spend more time with friends and family, set goals for yourself, and improve yourself while he is gone. With a positive outlook, time will fly

    My DF is also in Army boot camp right now. I suggest checking out the "Military Boot Camp" board, you'll find plenty of people to relate to!

  7. You are here.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Contra View Post
    You seem to be doing great staying strong so far (:

    Keeping busy is definitely the strongest aspect. Keep him in mind, but don't let his absence take over your life. Don't give up just because he's not there. Pick up new hobbies, spend more time with friends and family, set goals for yourself, and improve yourself while he is gone. With a positive outlook, time will fly

    My DF is also in Army boot camp right now. I suggest checking out the "Military Boot Camp" board, you'll find plenty of people to relate to!

    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    Staying busy is good.

    Also I know it's not exactly the same situation, but one thing that helped me get through deployment was someone telling me that thousands of wives had gone through them before me, and thousands would do it after me. It just helped put in perspective that this separation IS doable and that I WILL get though it. It was sort of my mantra while I was adjusting to him being away.

    (That advice can come off as dismissive to some and I promise that is not how I mean it).
    ditto...if you work OP, pick up more hours. volunteer, pick up a few more hobbies, go work out, just do something other than mulling over his absence. This is good practice for six month deployments, year long assignments or more apart if he goes overseas after boot, etc. its not "easy", its just something that you have to adapt to and find a niche and a rhythm to get into, but spending every second of your life stuck on him being gone, time will drag on and you might even become resentful of him being gone and living his life while you pine away focused on him and not living yours.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Frybread View Post
    ditto...if you work OP, pick up more hours. volunteer, pick up a few more hobbies, go work out, just do something other than mulling over his absence. This is good practice for six month deployments, year long assignments or more apart if he goes overseas after boot, etc. its not "easy", its just something that you have to adapt to and find a niche and a rhythm to get into, but spending every second of your life stuck on him being gone, time will drag on and you might even become resentful of him being gone and living his life while you pine away focused on him and not living yours.
    - especially with the bolded.
    OP, you can - and will, do this - cut yourself a little slack and give yourself the opportunity to find your footing and gain the coping mechanisms that work for you (we are all different).
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    #9
    Basic isn't too hard to deal with. It is a change, but to make it easier on yourself, write letters. They will really help you, and him. When I was in basic my GF at the time wrote me letters, and it made me less home sick. And you won't get many phone calls. So letters are the best way to keep in touch, but no care packages, they will make him open them in front of everyone, and if there is sweets in there he wont get any of it. Just try to keep a positive look on it, and let him know that everything will be okay. Reassurance on both sides will help out a lot.
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    #10
    Thanks yall.. i have been keeping busy and trying to find work around the new place.. the first few days hit me hard.. but im good now.. stronger then i was before and cant even cry.. im just too proud of him.. and i talk t his mom every once in a while and see we are going thru the same things(: i appreciate all you guys.. thank you(:
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