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Thread: Should I feel different?

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    #1

    Should I feel different?

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    I don't really know how big of a deal this is to me.

    I recently found out that one of my new friends used to be really addicted to cocaine. I'm not really judging here, we're still friends. I don't feel like our friendship should be based off of the past. It's just odd for me. I haven't ever been in contact with drugs before or really known anyone who was. The only thing I can say is that my late uncle was really heavy into it, but he stayed away from my family to "protect us" from it in a sense. I guess I'm afraid that hanging out with someone who was might open a door that shouldn't be? Does that make sense? We've only started to hang out and I'm still getting to know the person so I guess that's why I feel uneasy about getting involved with them. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I'm trying NOT to let it have an effect on our friendship...
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    Maybe they are looking for new friends that aren't part of the cocaine circles they used to run in, so you are an ideal choice. Considering that you are so far removed from it. I would say approach it with caution if you feel uneasy about it, but they were honest and upfront about it so I think you should give them a shot. If it turns out that they are really not as removed from it as you would like, stop the contact.
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    It wouldn't bother me personally. But if it bothers you, it does. No door can be opened for you unless you let it.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by eelizah View Post
    Maybe they are looking for new friends that aren't part of the cocaine circles they used to run in, so you are an ideal choice. Considering that you are so far removed from it. I would say approach it with caution if you feel uneasy about it, but they were honest and upfront about it so I think you should give them a shot. If it turns out that they are really not as removed from it as you would like, stop the contact.
    You're right. I do think that's what is going on here. My mother always told me to be careful who my friends are because you never know when you could be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I guess that's what keeps going through my head...
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    Did they divulge this information to you? If so, I would think it meant they felt that they could confide in you and that they wanted to be honest with you. That would mean a lot personally.

    Do you think you can look past their past to who they are now and the choices they make now?
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    #6
    Years ago, I dated a man who was addicted to crack. He was very up front about it, and, while it didn't work out between us, he's started a family and is a very nice guy. It forced me to challenge my pre-conceptions.

    And - several lovely ladies from this board are addicts. Their courage in sharing the changes in their life has proven to me that a label doesn't define the person. I understand the discomfort when it's new information for you, but look at the person, not the label.
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Lychee View Post
    Did they divulge this information to you? If so, I would think it meant they felt that they could confide in you and that they wanted to be honest with you. That would mean a lot personally.

    Do you think you can look past their past to who they are now and the choices they make now?
    I can, but I guess since they're still new to me... It bothers me a tiny bit. I suppose as I get to know them more I will feel more comfortable.
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    Your feelings are yours and no one should or can or should tell you to feel differently. The best thing to do is talk to him about it.
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    #9
    While I think you are entitled to your feelings, I would tread lightly which it seems like you are. Even if this friend does open a door that you don't want to be opened, it doesn't mean that you have to give in and do anything you don't want to do. My sister was addicted to cocaine and I've never tried it. Also, just because she was an addict doesn't mean she's that person anymore. People change
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by CrummyCupCake View Post
    I can, but I guess since they're still new to me... It bothers me a tiny bit. I suppose as I get to know them more I will feel more comfortable.
    I think that's the best approach. Time reveals more than it conceals.
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