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Thread: MIL Tried to Break In...

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    #1

    MIL Tried to Break In...

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    So DF doesn't talk to his mother, and hasn't for a long time. She is mentally ill and constantly harasses him and his sister with phone calls, emails, unwanted letters and gifts in attempts to get them to talk to her...when she doesnt get her way she resorts to harassing their friends and places of employment (even calling their superiors in the military) to try to make up lies to get information about them. She is delusional and will tell people she is dying and needs to get in touch with them, will threaten that the 'attorney general of the consulate of the army' is going to sue you if you don't give her information, etc. It is really sad.

    Anyway, she somehow got my information...sent me dozens of harassing facebook emails in one hour, sends me unwanted letters and gifts, etc. But DF was convinced it was just a harmless annoyance. His father will not admit how sick she is and won't do anything other than make excuses for her.

    So yesterday, for whatever reason, FIL brings MIL TO OUR HOUSE. I'm sitting there watching a movie with my friend while DF is at work, and I get a knock at the door. I see a petite older middle aged lady standing there and open the door thinking its a neighbor needing help with something. Then this crazy B**ch runs at me trying to push through the door into our house screaming at me about how I'm keeping her son from her! I had to stand there while she pushed me and the door for about 5 minutes of her yelling and me trying to remain calm, saying "Ma'am, your son is not here. I have no control over this situation, please leave before I call the police." Finally her husband runs up and tries to pull her away from the door. The whole time she is screaming as he pulls her away, "When is this wedding you're planning you sinner? You will NEVER be Mrs. -----!!!" Scary! I took my opportunity to run inside and lock the door.

    My friend inside is staring at me going "WTF?" This woman then breaks free from her husband and runs back up to the door banging on the door and the windows yelling at us to "Give her her pictures back!" I guess she had sent photos to DF in the mail...I saw they were still on the table as he obviously didn't want them. I kept telling her to go back to her car and I'd leave them on the porch and if she then didn't leave I'd call the police. Again, her husband had to drag her back to the car like three times. I finally threw the pictures out the front window to be like okay, there they are, please leave!

    They finally left and I called the police who came and took my report, also called DF to get extra info on them. The police officer recommended we get a restraining order and told DF the procedure. I thought things were okay...but I was physically shaking from the whole experience.

    Later that night, she somehow found my phone number through one of my online networks, and called me at least 20 times. I answered once to say "please stop calling me, the police have been notified" and to ask where she got my phone number. She said, "I know all about you, you are all over the internet with your fitness career and your schools (naming where I graduated/where I work/etc) and you should spend more time with your family and at church than you do climbing buildings, its disgusting (I have pictures on one of my fitness profiles of me climbing..didn't know it was public, super scary!)" She also said I was living in sin and I should know better going to Catholic school.

    The scariest part is that she knew information that isn't on any public website, like the fact that my mom and aunt are coming to our wedding....no one other than close friends knows my family structure...so NOW we are ALSO dealing with the fact that there is a mole among one of our friends or family, who is telling either MIL or FIL this information! Are they telling them our wedding date or location too? We can't have a scene like this at our wedding! Ah!

    The part really stressing me out now is DF is STILL reluctant to get the restraining order. He went this morning to get it but just texted that he walked out...I dont know the whole story yet but he needs to swallow his pride and get this to protect us from this craziness! What if she would've fallen and tried to sue us? What if she comes back with a weapon? (She is so delusional what if she could be violent?) What if she keeps doing this once he redeploys at the end of the summer? Am I wrong to be unflexible on this point? He needs to do this to protect us, I can't file one until we are married as it is a family court matter. So stressed and confused.

    Just had to get this all out and vent...also if anyone has any advice I'd love to hear some of it...I'm at a loss...I felt like I was back at my old job working with the schizophrenic and bipolar patients at the mental health center!
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    #2


    Praying for you and your family, and hopes your DF does the right thing..Its hard when it's family but you need to stay safe and comfortable too!
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    #3
    I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this, hon. I wish I had some advice but all I have are . I hope you guys get the restraining order and she leaves you alone. I'd be afraid since she seems able to find out all kinds of things about you without you knowing about it.

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    #4
    That is scary. You can get one yourself. I honestly would
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    #5
    That is really scary. I hope your DF does the right thing. It's got to be hard, as it is his mom.
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    #6
    I have no advice on how your DF needs to handle the situation. I do want to say that he doesn't need to be the one to get the order. She came and harassed you at your home and is making harassing calls to you. Go and get your own order.
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    #7
    DH has crazy family. We just don't associate anymore I know that's harder to do when they live close by, but a restraining order or something may be a good idea at this point.
    I would be sure to lock down all your social network stuff also.
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    #8
    Oh my gosh, I hope DF gets the restraining order.
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    #9
    Oh my god, how horrifying. Your DF needs to get a restraining order, you're totally right. I'm sure it's hard for him though, she's his mother after all.
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    #10
    Thanks girls. I'm glad to know I'm not overreacting. (I knew I wasn't deep down, but knowing you girls support how I feel is definitely reassuring). I may look into getting my own as well, but the police said that I'd have to get one through district court which is more expensive and also is not enforceable by them as it is a state matter? WTF? I feel like the NON-family orders should be MORE enforceable, isn't is scarier to have some stranger harassing you? Just my opinion haha.

    But yes, I will definitely look into it just to have it on paper somewhere. Also DF got back to me saying that he is confused as the cop told him to go to OUR court house but our courthouse told him he had to go to the town his parents are from to do it...we still don't know who is right and now have to figure that out as well!
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