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Thread: my wife will not talk to me

  1. Regular Member
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    #1

    my wife will not talk to me

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    ok my dw is at dli. when she got out of bootcamp we had hopes and dreams of pcsing to her new duty station. a week after she gets there she gets really distant. she gets off of work everyday at 4pm we have time difference of 3 hours. i try to text her and she wont text back for hours. when i call she is always busy. i sometimes get to talk to her at about 3am my time. she talks to me when her curfew kicks in. i told her if this is how she was gonna live i didnt want any of it. now three weeks into dli she wont even answer my phone calls. i need to talk to someone about what is going on im still her husband and she still has a son. i bought two tickets to go see her this coming up weekend and now i dont know if i need to go or not i cant get in contact with her. is there anyone at the base i can talk to about this. i really dont know what to do. is there someone in the military that handles this kind of stuff. any help would be greatly appeciated
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    #2
    She's not really breaking any rules, so I don't know that contacting anyone on base would be a good idea. Its likely to get her in some trouble (or at least draw attention to her and make her look like a bit of a problem child), so she'd probably be irritated, or worse, which might only make your situation even worse. Only you can decide if it is worth it. If you really feel like going that route, I'd text her one more time and tell her that if she doesn't respond in 2 days, you are contacting the command to make sure she's okay. They gives her a warning and a chance to take care of it with just you.

    If you decide that it is worth it to contact the command, just google the name of her unit and there should he phone numbers.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #3
    By "still her husband" do you mean that you are still married despite her ignoring you or are you guys separated but still legally married? I hope she gets in contact with you soon, at the very least to see how her son is doing but she may also just need some time to decompress.
  4. Regular Member
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    litarrally she is just ignoring me . and we are marreid deeply in love before and after bootcamp three weeks into her school she doesnt even know we exist im out of a job becouse i lost it when i dicided to take 3 days off to go see her graduate. we were supposed to be gone by now but everytime i asked for her orders and power of attonrney she would say ill do it later. now shes just turned her phone off. she was talking about buying a new phone. i think she did and didnt give me the new number. i really am comfused at whats happening 3 weeks ago we couldnt get enough of each other now she is not even excepting my calls. thats onther thing im broke i just spent close to a grand on airfair, money i didnt have. i needed to know what happening. someone told me to talk to her first yeoman.. i very new to being a millitary spouse. i dont really know where to go from here
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    #5
    I don't have any advice, but I'm very sorry you're in this situation
  6. The LDR that never ends..
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    #6


    Im sorry she isn't returning your calls, does she have e-mail? Have you tried that route? IMO I would cancel airfare if I was in that situation simply because I'm sure you need to put that money elsewhere right now.
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    #7
    Sorry you're in this situation right now. I would try to give her the benefit of a doubt that perhaps there's something else up. I hope you hear from her soon.
  8. Regular Member
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    #8
    the airfare is non refundable. i tried to get ahold of her throug her facebook friends. every time we do get to talk it cant be about the relationship. the thing is i have been a great husband and a great father. she cant say anything of what i done. my thing is i want to know what is going on. i dont care what shes doing as long as i know. after i know i can act on it. and do something about it . but as it is im so confused. i just dont know who to get ahold of her
  9. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    She's not really breaking any rules, so I don't know that contacting anyone on base would be a good idea. Its likely to get her in some trouble (or at least draw attention to her and make her look like a bit of a problem child), so she'd probably be irritated, or worse, which might only make your situation even worse. Only you can decide if it is worth it. If you really feel like going that route, I'd text her one more time and tell her that if she doesn't respond in 2 days, you are contacting the command to make sure she's okay. They gives her a warning and a chance to take care of it with just you.

    If you decide that it is worth it to contact the command, just google the name of her unit and there should he phone numbers.
    I think this is a good idea. Or you could try emailing her, do you know her work email? That way you'd know she'd get it.

    I'm sorry you're in this situation.
  10. Livin~Lovin~Laughin
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    #10
    I think I would make the trip just so you can sit down and talk face to face. I'm sorry you are going through that. She's not being fair to you or your child. I can't, as a mother, imagine behaving in such a way.

    I agree with villanelle also. I would send her a warning order. Talk to me or I will reach out to your command to make sure you are ok.

    I hope that despite her lack of connection, she is at least doing the right thing and providing support for you and your child.





    "Don't worry about being right,
    just worry about being kind."
    ~Tilly Therber
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