Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: I don't understand help?

  1. Fresh Newbie
    dotTiffany's Avatar
    dotTiffany is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    7
    #1

    I don't understand help?

    Advertisements
    Hello, I'm new to these stuff or any support group for the matter..

    My name is Tiffany, I have been in a relationship with my fiance for about 6 years now. We met in High School and now we're both about 20. Since December, that was when I last saw him, he was now based in Okinawa for 3 years. He have recently been sent to Afghanistan. Long distance wasn't too much of a problem for us, until recently. He sent an email to me that he has been lying to me for the past year. He said he's been smoking(I'm a bit allergic to smoking) and that he admits that since he got to his base in Okinawa he has not thought of me much at all. While he was in Okinawa, he would skype me everyday, and text me and everything. After that confession though he's been very cold and everything. I don't understand what's going on and I'm not sure what to do with myself. I'm really hurt and it feels like I'm being taken for granted but I also do know that he has other things right now as priority. Has anyone had dealt this before? Or perhaps a reasoning for this sudden confession?

    I don't live with him or anything, I'm back in the US finishing school to be a RN, and live back at home with my family. Before he left to Afghan he would always tell me he loves me without fail and that I should've become an accountant instead so I could be with him. This all makes no sense to me.

    Thank you for reading this long problem and I really appreciate all that come.
  2. Luke 6:37 & Matthew 7:1-2
    WhiskeyGirl's Avatar
    WhiskeyGirl is offline
    Luke 6:37 & Matthew 7:1-2
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    17,208
    Blog Entries
    1
    #2
    1) go intro yourself in the newbies section.
    2) you both are very young, he may be wanting to explore on his own. He could be drifting away.
    If y'all are meant to be together then you will be.
    Rissa*Rawr is my Wifey as of 1/24/2012
  3. i will NOT limbo in Idaho
    chickadeebaby's Avatar
    chickadeebaby is offline
    i will NOT limbo in Idaho
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Hurlburt Field, FL
    Posts
    3,669
    #3


    Sounds to me like it may be time to end the relationship and maybe that's what he was trying to hint at by saying he hasn't thought of you.

    With that statement I would seriously be wondering if he had someone else in the picture.
    I would want to have a long talk about what he is wanting to happen with the relationship, if something else is going on, etc. and figure out what is best for you and your future.
    It doesn't sound like he's very committed to the relationship.

    I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that.
    I'm LeAndra

    Married to James since October 2008
    Lorelai Feb 2010
    Beckham July 2012
    I am a Christian & SAHM/W

    If you have any questions about massage therapy, breastfeeding, natural birth, Your Baby Can Read, teaching kids sign language or whatever...feel free to ask!
    PS~ Please excuse any typos for the time being...I've almost always got an arm full of baby
  4. Just your everyday, laidback Aussie Girl
    SandyKay's Avatar
    SandyKay is offline
    Just your everyday, laidback Aussie Girl
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Somewhere out there
    Posts
    32,613

    #4
    , when you get a chance please introduce yourself in the newbies section and read the stickies.

    As for advice... You are young, you have been together for 6 yrs (since you are 14), during that time, people grow up a LOT, they begin to learn who they really are and what they really want out of life. I know this may be hard to deal with, but he just may be growing apart from you and as much as it may hurt, you can't hold it against him. Also the fact that you mentioned he is deployed and has been doing this since he is deployed... a lot of people drift away, isolate themselves, etc when deployed, it is a coping mechanism. If you really love him and want to get through this with him, you need to talk to him and find out what he wants and decide if you can deal with that or if you should just walk away from the relationship.


  5. Fresh Newbie
    dotTiffany's Avatar
    dotTiffany is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    7
    #5
    Thank you for the replies. I have talked to him slightly but he mentioned how "I'm acting like the relationship is falling and I'm leaving you. I'm just telling you what I have been doing." I'm not so sure what to take of it..
  6. Luke 6:37 & Matthew 7:1-2
    WhiskeyGirl's Avatar
    WhiskeyGirl is offline
    Luke 6:37 & Matthew 7:1-2
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    17,208
    Blog Entries
    1
    #6
    I honestly would feel that it was the ending of the replationship.
    You both should talk about it all and talk about what you want.
    You started dating very young and like it was said already people do a lot of growing up from teen to adult.
    I can tell you right now I am not the same person I was in High school.
    Rissa*Rawr is my Wifey as of 1/24/2012

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •