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Thread: just need advice

  1. Keep on dreaming little penguin
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    #1

    just need advice

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    Dh has a drinking problem to say the least. He get drunk and is someone completely different. A couple years ago we separated because he hit me. Yesterday he pushed me into the wall. He's been through the rehab program that the Navy has a couple years ago. It didn't change anything. I'm at a lose for what to do because a part of me says yes leave and cut your losses the other part of me feels like i'm giving up on everything and taking the easy way out. I talked to my dad this morning and told him to hold off on coming down. I would come up for the week so I can think it over. I really don't know what to do at this point

    any advice would be great i'm at a loss at this point
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    #2
    You need to leave. You should never tolerate abuse--physical or emotional. If he's been through the rehab program, he continues to drink and get out of control, and hurt you, why should you stay? This could manifest into a very very dangerous situation, and that's why I would leave. Do you have any family nearby that you could stay with for a little bit? Lots of
  3. Preaching from the book of Johnny Cash...
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Mary4 View Post
    You need to leave. You should never tolerate abuse--physical or emotional. If he's been through the rehab program, he continues to drink and get out of control, and hurt you, why should you stay? This could manifest into a very very dangerous situation, and that's why I would leave. Do you have any family nearby that you could stay with for a little bit? Lots of
    I agree
  4. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #4
    How does he react to his behavior when he's sober again? I would personally say absolutely not and if you can't control yourself when drinking then then you just need to not drink.
  5. Keep on dreaming little penguin
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    #5
    My family is in Virginia, my dad was going to come down, but I called him this morning and told him not to yet. I'm going up there for a week on Tuesday
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    #6
    He needs to stop drinking. If he is going to continue drinking, for your own safety, you should leave.
  7. Keep on dreaming little penguin
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Jazmine View Post
    How does he react to his behavior when he's sober again? I would personally say absolutely not and if you can't control yourself when drinking then then you just need to not drink.
    If he remembers what he did usually he says he feels like shit. He's sorry he loves me and acts like nothing is wrong. I don't drink and won't buy alcohol for him so it's all his choice these days.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by dream View Post
    If he remembers what he did usually he says he feels like shit. He's sorry he loves me and acts like nothing is wrong. I don't drink and won't buy alcohol for him so it's all his choice these days.
    He's CHOOSING to buy alcohol and drink, knowing he's hurting you, both physically and emotionally. He's picking alcohol and his addiction over you and your marriage. That's very dangerous. He needs to either get some serious help or you need to leave, IMO.
  9. BingBangBoom that's how babies are made
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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Mary4 View Post
    You need to leave. You should never tolerate abuse--physical or emotional. If he's been through the rehab program, he continues to drink and get out of control, and hurt you, why should you stay? This could manifest into a very very dangerous situation, and that's why I would leave. Do you have any family nearby that you could stay with for a little bit? Lots of
    Quote Originally Posted by Mary4 View Post
    He's CHOOSING to buy alcohol and drink, knowing he's hurting you, both physically and emotionally. He's picking alcohol and his addiction over you and your marriage. That's very dangerous. He needs to either get some serious help or you need to leave, IMO.

    Cut your losses & run. There is no excuse for his actions.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
  10. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #10


    I was married to an alcoholic for 2 years. I'd say about 6 months in I KNEW I should get out, but it took me a long time to build up the courage to do it. Meanwhile he was hitting me, spending all our money, he cleaned out my savings to the tune of $6K, losing jobs, etc. It was horrible.

    If your parents can be there for you that is an AWESOME support system. My first step to getting away was moving back in with my mom and dad. Next I did counseling for myself ... it helped me to see my situation clearly, but it also made me feel better to be able to get a professional's opinion so I could tell myself that I was not taking the easy way out and that I did everything I could to make the marriage work. I even did marriage counseling with my ex-DH before filing papers. He straight up said that he would never quit drinking.

    PM me if you need any advice, I know it's a hard place to be and that it can be an even harder place to get out of.
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