Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: what should i do!

  1. Regular Member
    bobbysgirl's Avatar
    bobbysgirl is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    ME: Springfield, Mo HIM: FT. Leornard Wood
    Posts
    146
    #1

    Help what should i do!

    Advertisements
    So, needing some help and input. My situation is different from everyone else of course. My db lives in Ft. Wood while Iím in springfield. House to house itís only 86miles. We see each other every weekend unless he has his 24hr call. He changed his MOS from infantry to delta so he works with surgeries. Our connection has been great since day one. The last month and a half weíve had a lot of small arguments. That we are BOTH at fault. I admit that I am and so does he now. And we are both working on this. We struggle to talk to each other because during the day heís busy with surgeries and I hear from him time to time.

    He will call for a few minutes then have to go back to work. Thatís fine I get, Iíve done the same to him. During the evening Iím normally busier because Iím taking care of my daughter changing, feeding, playing. Cleaning bottles, laundry. Ya know mom things! Then he always wants me to call him before bed and I waste my time with calling because every night it goes to vm as heís already sleeping. It gets irritating sometimes but Iím just dealing with it you could say.

    Lately, you can say thereís been more and more talk about being a family and marriage and living together. Talk about future orders since his orders are up in 2yrs. Thatís fine, I know in my heart that I love him and when were together were great! We just have things in the process of working out and compromising on. We both have agreed we want to live together before we get married. But hereís my problem I just started this amazing job right now trying to get my experience. I still live with my parents after I had my daughter since her father walked out on us. They are my complete support system. She goes to daycare during the day. At night my mom or I pick her up. Iím very very very close to my family! If I move up to where heís at it seems like he doesnít want to compromise at all. Itís like I have to give up everything and everyone for him and I donít like that! He wants we to try and transfer my job down to the Mercy in St.Robert. They never have openings they are a small clinic. Then he's talking about me getting a civilian job on post. Plus give up my benefits and my daughters. Heís not close to his parents or siblings he grew up in foster care.

    I love him I do! But there is no marriage involved right now. Iím torn between my family and the guy I love and want to be with. Either way Iíll of course have my daughter. But itís like heís still got 2more yrs why canít there be compromise he doesnít live on base. I want my daughter to have as much time with my family as possible. especially if him and i do happen to get married. then we will be moving all the time and never seeing my family. I need support and advice. Hopefully positive input would be great!

    BTW SORRY THIS IS SO LONG..
  2. Senior Member
    bdizzle's Avatar
    bdizzle is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    19,693
    #2
    I don't get how your situation is so much different... There are a lot of women who are/were LDR short distances, myself included.

    Anyways, my advice, don't make such a drastic change without either getting engaged or married. Its a big deal to move your daughter like that, and you can't do it for a 'maybe'.


  3. Regular Member
    bobbysgirl's Avatar
    bobbysgirl is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    ME: Springfield, Mo HIM: FT. Leornard Wood
    Posts
    146
    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by briannanoel View Post
    I don't get how your situation is so much different... There are a lot of women who are/were LDR short distances, myself included.

    Anyways, my advice, don't make such a drastic change without either getting engaged or married. Its a big deal to move your daughter like that, and you can't do it for a 'maybe'.
    sorry i didn't clarify what i meant by the difference. i meant i don't have as much right to complain because others on here can't see their SO at all while they are on deployment or basics. so i can't complain much about just seeing mine just on weekends. thats all that it meant.
  4. Livin~Lovin~Laughin
    KarmaRocks's Avatar
    KarmaRocks is offline
    Livin~Lovin~Laughin
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    14,212
    #4
    I personally would not give up a good job and a secure situation with a child for a boyfriend.





    "Don't worry about being right,
    just worry about being kind."
    ~Tilly Therber
  5. Senior Member
    Piperleigh's Avatar
    Piperleigh is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    1,096
    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Solstice View Post
    I personally would not give up a good job and a secure situation with a child for a boyfriend.
    ita.
  6. Senior Member
    Element02's Avatar
    Element02 is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Fort Hood
    Posts
    595
    Blog Entries
    8
    #6
    If it were just you...that would be different. but, because you have a kid on your hands, that causes a lot of conflict. Obviously you need to do what is best for your daughter, and taking such a huge leap like that can be very dangerous and can leave you in a really bad situation if things do not work out the way you had planned.

    Obviously you need to continue discussing this topic with him and you need to make him understand the situation better and GET him to compromise. Because, if he can't compromise now, then there is no point in marrying someone that will not bend for you and your needs...you know?
    Just my opinion.
    "Love is just a chemical, we give it meaning by choice"---Eleanor Lamb (Bioshock2)
    " I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything. Maybe we're from the same star." ---Emery Allen
  7. MilitarySOS Jewel
    Just_Special's Avatar
    Just_Special is offline
    MilitarySOS Jewel
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    IL
    Posts
    14,508
    Blog Entries
    1
    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Solstice View Post
    I personally would not give up a good job and a secure situation with a child for a boyfriend.
    Quote Originally Posted by Element02 View Post
    If it were just you...that would be different. but, because you have a kid on your hands, that causes a lot of conflict. Obviously you need to do what is best for your daughter, and taking such a huge leap like that can be very dangerous and can leave you in a really bad situation if things do not work out the way you had planned.

    Obviously you need to continue discussing this topic with him and you need to make him understand the situation better and GET him to compromise. Because, if he can't compromise now, then there is no point in marrying someone that will not bend for you and your needs...you know?
    Just my opinion.

  8. Regular Member
    bobbysgirl's Avatar
    bobbysgirl is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    ME: Springfield, Mo HIM: FT. Leornard Wood
    Posts
    146
    #8
    We finally got to discuss it last night and both came to an agreement this whole time he wasnt getting what i was saying. So i went at it a different way and appraoch. We both agreed yes there will be an engagement before we move in. We both want to know things will work and that we can handle the situations we will come up on. Especially those of the military.

    but was anyone else nervous about take that leap into the military life?

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •