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Thread: having little arguments...how do I advoid these?

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    #1

    having little arguments...how do I advoid these?

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    He is away for another 5 months at Fort Leonardwood and we have been having little argruements for the past two weeks at nights. I know he is stressed out beyond belief and has so much to deal with other than having to get in an argument with me when I am suppose to be his strong side and support. What can I do to advoid these and be a positive girlfriend for him? I really want to fix this so any advice and tips from anyone that has been there would be greatly appreciated..
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    #2
    Depends on what you're fighting about. If you understand that's he's stressed, then when he says something that gets under your skin choose to ignore it.


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    Sometimes it is petty stuff but last night it was about getting my hopes up like I was suppose to come see him at the end of May and something came up to where I didn't get to and now he is thinking about trying again in July and I was thinking negatively and said I don't want to get my hopes up just to be let down....how do I not think so negative and let those negative thoughts come in between us?
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    #4
    Pick your battles. If it's something petty just let it roll off your back and don't take it personal. That's what I do. I think to myself "really? :" and then just move on because it's just not worth getting into an argument over because usually they get blown up into something bigger. I have learned to let a lot of things go that in the long run don't matter.
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    #5
    Honestly you just have to get over that. It's the military, things change and often at the last second. You saying that you didn't want to get your hopes up probably made him feel like you didn't want to go see him. Shit happens


  6. skp
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    #6
    Choose your battles.
    Writing really helps me express my feelings. It lets me sort out everything before I overreact or say something stupid (I'm not saying that you did!)
    It's really disappointing when you have plans and then they change but that's life in the military.

    br33 is my professional deployment twin
    starsinthesky is my PAL
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    #7
    How to avoid little arguments? Don't do it. Choose not to argue. Change the subject. End the call kindly. Say that you're having a hard time handling the subject, and can we please talk about something else for a while? You never HAVE to argue. Nobody can MAKE you argue. Just don't do it.

    I think it's important to remember that if you're sacrificing quality time so you can have as much quantity as possible, you're doing yourself a disservice. One of the most important things you can learn is how to not talk to each other every possible minute without feeling like you're missing out, IMO.

    Good luck!
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    #8
    Stinky doubleposting.
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    #9
    i often have to just bite my tongue! then sometimes i just can't because i know there's been in the past a few issues he's been able to control and he hasn't and it's really bothered me. Sometimes it's all in the expression and phrasing. my db and have little arguements here and there too. We have both gotten better though because we use to make smart ass comments and then it just went up in smoke from there. Can't do that. Just have to either bite your tongue and express it elsewhere or say it to where there will be understanding and no one will get upset or ticked.
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    #10
    Like the other ladies said.. you cant sweat plans changing. A couple weeks ago I flew down to see DB for the weekend. I hadn't seen him in a while so I was super excited. He asked the Cadre and they told him they were 100% sure they would not be in the field the week I was planning to come so I took off work and planned to fly down on Thursday for the weekend. The Friday before they told them they would be in the field instead. So I was flying down on Thursday and he wouldn't be back until after 6pm on Friday. I was really upset about it even though I still got to see him, Just a day later.

    Point is... It happens, plans change. It sucks but its out of your control.
    The principle is competing against yourself. Itís about self-improvement, about being better than you were the day before.

    -Steve Young
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