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Thread: Negative Nancy

  1. Regular Member
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    #1

    Negative Nancy

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    So I'm stuck in a weird situation and am not really sure what to do. Theres a lot of information so I'll try to break it up as much as possible.

    Background: DB is at Basic Training and his 36 hour pass is next weekend (May 19th). One of his good friends is also there for basic training in a different company, but they have the same 36 hour pass. We'll call the friend John. Johns girlfriend and I are pretty good friends, we started spending a lot more time together since DB and John left for training.

    Lately, I've started to realize how incredibly negative and just plain mean she is. The first time I noticed this was when we were talking about visiting the guys shortly after we realized their 36 hr pass was the same weekend. She said she didn't want to tell John she was coming because she wanted him to suffer (by thinking she wasnt going to come) like she's had to suffer and its his fault because he left her to go to Basic.

    Then she was saying how DB being gone is so much easier for me because he's gotten to talk on the phone WAY more. Which is absolutely ridiculous, one because he hasn't called more, and two he calls every 2-3 weeks, that is NOT EASY! But most importantly, why does it even matter? This isn't a comparison and I tried to explain that to her and she just sat there and argued with me so I gave up. This isn't just something she's said once, she says it ALL OF THE FREAKING TIME. Everytime the subject of DB comes up she tells me to "stop complaining" because her situation is "so much harder".

    Then there was this whole drama about how she has to try too hard to be my friend, and yada yada. She didn't want to go to the pass together anymore because it'd be "awkward". Anyways, I ended up her telling her this isn't about us, it's about the guys, we need to push these issues aside, and not make anything uncomfortable for them while we're there. They're really looking forward to this and I wouldn't want to ruin it.

    So now she's mad about something else, I dont want to bore you with the details, but basically I told her I couldn't be somewhere because I had plans but that I might finish early so if I did I would stop by, she "waited around for me all day" and somehow that's my fault? Not to mention she's already complaining about how the 36 hour pass is too short and taking them back is going to suck and the ride home is going to suck. SO NEGATIVE! She is the queen of finding the negative in every situation. It's driving me up the wall!

    It sucks because I've started to realize that I'm honestly not even excited for this trip, I'm dreading it. She's "mad" at me so the 14 hour car ride up there is going to be a little weird. I'm BEYOND excited to see DB, and I would honestly do anything to see him (even if it means 28 hours in a car with negative nancy) but it sucks that her attitude is overshadowing my excitement and I'm not really sure what to do. She will flip if I try to talk to her about this, because she's the type of person who never does anything wrong. But the thought of 14 hours together in a car (PLUS 14 hours for the ride home) just sounds awful. I'm thinking I just need to suck it up for this trip, be nice, and POSITIVE and then start distancing myself from her once we're back home.

    Any thoughts?
  2. Mombie.
    Jensscrnnm's Avatar
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    #2
    Seems simple to me. Don't talk to her, don't socialize with her, write her out of your life.

    Is there a reason you can't take yourself there?



  3. BingBangBoom that's how babies are made
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    #3
    Do you have to go with her? There's no way in hell that she would be in my life after all that. She can take her crap attitude elsewhere.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
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    #4
    I agree with the above take a seperate car and save yourself the stress. Inform your man what's happened so him and the friend won't expect you all to hang out. I don't think it will be a huge deal
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    #5
    That's exactly how my husbands friends wife is. I hate being around her. Honestly I've tried so hard to get along with her and be nice but you need to just cut people off sometimes. Who cares if she gets mad? You don't need to be friends with her anymore just because your boyfriends are friends.

    I wouldn't want to spend 14 hours straight in a car with her with that attitude. You should be getting excited to go see your guy, not stuck in a car with misery.
  6. You are here.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by sqrllvr123 View Post
    Seems simple to me. Don't talk to her, don't socialize with her, write her out of your life.

    Is there a reason you can't take yourself there?
    Quote Originally Posted by Rissa*Rawr View Post
    Do you have to go with her? There's no way in hell that she would be in my life after all that. She can take her crap attitude elsewhere.
    Quote Originally Posted by hesmyydisco View Post
    I agree with the above take a seperate car and save yourself the stress. Inform your man what's happened so him and the friend won't expect you all to hang out. I don't think it will be a huge deal
    ditto...find another way to get there.
  7. Regular Member
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    #7
    Well we were going to split gas and share a hotel the night before they get out and the night before we drive home. So it will cost me like $350 more to go without her. But honestly, I think it will make my trip 100 times more enjoyable so it's probably worth it. I feel bad telling DB he can't see John because of psycho girlfriend, I don't want to put them in the middle, but I do think he'll understand. Thanks everyone!
  8. BingBangBoom that's how babies are made
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by sunshine0892 View Post
    Well we were going to split gas and share a hotel the night before they get out and the night before we drive home. So it will cost me like $350 more to go without her. But honestly, I think it will make my trip 100 times more enjoyable so it's probably worth it. I feel bad telling DB he can't see John because of psycho girlfriend, I don't want to put them in the middle, but I do think he'll understand. Thanks everyone!
    I think if the extra money isn't a burden then it's probably a better idea. And I'm sure if you tell your DB how awful she's been, he'll understand why you can't be around her.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
  9. Looking for the sunshine...
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    #9
    Go by yourself. Why chance having her attitude ruin your time together? If she asks "why" be honest. Tell her her mood swings are too much to handle and you'd rather concentrate on enjoying the trip over her angry outbursts. Then be done with her.

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