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Thread: Things have changed....a lot. Need some support!

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    ctcountrygurl's Avatar
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    #1

    Things have changed....a lot. Need some support!

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    Hi Everyone,
    So it's been a long time since I've posted on here...To give background, I was with my Army man for about 7 months before I decided to move up to Fairbanks in March with him....Well, things have not gone to plan....I met up with him in Colorado (after quitting my very secure job that paid well and selling all of my stuff) to do the drive up to AK...After a few days of staying with the family, we had a couple of drinks that night and came to talkin...He told me he thought that I should lose 10 lbs (which is why his mom had prepared us a separate meal) and I got upset. (And yes, I know the best time to talk about things is when you are sober, not somewhat "lit")

    Meanwhile, my beagle named Annie was put in her crate because he was getting "frustrated" with her not staying in the place he told her to stay (I saw him getting a little tipsy, so I didn't want my beagle involved).

    When he told me he wanted me to lose 10 lbs, I got upset and went upstairs. (we were in his parents house in the lower level). Within a few minutes, I heard my dog yelp and I immediately knew something was wrong. After running downstairs, finding her crate empty, I went to the garage where I found him standing over her saying "I just punched her as hard as I could" . I was so upset, and was hysterical. I slept downstairs that night, after he cried and said that he was sorry 3 times over. After the next couple of days, I knew that we wouldn't be going up to Alaska, even though I tried to fight through it (I had thought that I would drive up and fly back to live in Colorado). But after he passionately said that he hated my dog, I decided that enough was enough and we would not be able to live together....

    So fast-forward to now... I have been trying to get myself together here in Colorado and begin a new life, and now when I talk to him it is completely separated....he doesn't ask how I'm doing anymore...he doesn't get in contact with me at all...and I'm so frustrated as to why I would want him to be as well...I just feel like he did this and has wiped his hands of me...any words of encouragement are appreciated. Love you girls
  2. In vino veritas
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    #2
    This may not be what you want to hear, but it comes from a good place.

    Why are you with him? He hits your dog, and then starts to treat you like crap? I would be out the moment a man touched an animal. Most men who beat their SO's start by abusing animals. That is not a good sign, and I would leave. Nothing is worth risking the safety of yourself or your dog.
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    #3
    Wow. He really, really crossed the line. Asking you to lose the weight is enough of an asshole move, but hurting your dog? No. Just no. Not okay.

    I think you made the right choice, OP.
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  4. I'm a boss playa', I don't bleed like you.
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.VinoVet View Post
    This may not be what you want to hear, but it comes from a good place.

    Why are you with him? He hits your dog, and then starts to treat you like crap? I would be out the moment a man touched an animal. Most men who beat their SO's start by abusing animals. That is not a good sign, and I would leave. Nothing is worth risking the safety of yourself or your dog.
    what i got is that she is't with him anymore but is upset he hasn't contacted her at all even to see how she's doing. i could be wrong tho.


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    #5
    My question is why do you care? If he "wiped his hands of you", I'd be thrilled in that situation. The moment someone touches my dog like he did to yours, I would be out so fast & wiping my hands of them. Fuck that & him. He's a sad excuse for a human being.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
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    #6
    Yeah I'm no longer with him...I guess the most frustrating thing is the whole fact that I still have some kind of feelings for him....I know people make mistakes, but truthfully my beagle never deserved this and I like to think I never did as well. He also professed to me that he was still addicted to porn, which was something that I really didn't know much about until this moment...I really did love him, I just don't understand what I did to deserve this...I just want a fairytail relationship, you know...
  7. BingBangBoom that's how babies are made
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by ctcountrygurl View Post
    Yeah I'm no longer with him...I guess the most frustrating thing is the whole fact that I still have some kind of feelings for him....I know people make mistakes, but truthfully my beagle never deserved this and I like to think I never did as well. He also professed to me that he was still addicted to porn, which was something that I really didn't know much about until this moment...I really did love him, I just don't understand what I did to deserve this...I just want a fairytail relationship, you know...
    You didn't do anything! Nothing he did was your fault in any way. He has issues that he needs to seek help for. Honestly, I think you're lucky you got out because he could have eventually turned that "frustration" out on you. YOU deserve better than that.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
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    #8
    I understand being upset he let you to so easily, but honestly you are lucky. I'm glad you're out of that situation, he sounds like a huge tool.
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    #9
    Takes time truthfully. Took me a LONG time to get over my ex who was definitely over me. Give it time.
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    #10
    but that was hard to read it broke my heart, he abused your dog what kind of person but a monster would do such a thing. think about if you had kids with this asshole. Be glad you got away from him.
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