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Thread: Help please!

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Help please!

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    My husband is away fro training before his deployment, I may or may not get to see him before he leaves, but today he told me that he wants to PAUSE us for 12 months. I just need him sooo much and I am sooo depressed over this. He refuses to answer my calls txts or emails. I am sooo sooo scared. I love my husband with all my heart and would do anything for him, but I do not know if I can do this. I am a Vet myself and have deployed, but this is the first time I have been on the other side of the deployment and I am more scared then when I was a new PVT on the plane overseas. How do I handle this. Am I doing something wrong, well I know I am or my husband wouldn;t be shutting me out. I get that it is easier to focus on the mission without having to deal with family, I did it myself, but I was not married at the time. I don't know. I know I need support, perferably from my husband, but I have to get it from someone, I am at my wits end and I dont want my girls to see me crying anymore. please help me!!
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    #2
    How can a married couple be put on pause? For a year? I'm sorry that doesn't seem right or fair to u at all
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  3. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #3
    I'm kind of confused, what does he mean by being on pause? Like no communication at all?
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    I'm kind of confused, what does he mean by being on pause? Like no communication at all?
    He needs to further explain what he means by "pause"...and it doesn't really sound like it's fair to you.
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    #5
    I'm with Tojai and Chandy. What does pause mean? Relationships aren't DVDs
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    I'm kind of confused, what does he mean by being on pause? Like no communication at all?
    Quote Originally Posted by ChandyPandy View Post
    He needs to further explain what he means by "pause"...and it doesn't really sound like it's fair to you.
    Vmigirl & missmay are my wifies!



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    Excited to see what the next few years hold for us


  7. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by ChandyPandy View Post
    He needs to further explain what he means by "pause"...and it doesn't really sound like it's fair to you.


    At first I thought it was just an odd way of phrasing things. Like I have told DH I wish that I were a bear so I could just hibernate through his deployment.

    But if he refuses to communicate with you, that is unfair and is a problem for sure.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by ChandyPandy View Post
    He needs to further explain what he means by "pause"...and it doesn't really sound like it's fair to you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    I'm kind of confused, what does he mean by being on pause? Like no communication at all?
    yeah, this.....what is "pause"? are you guys "not married" during this time? no contact? IMO i would tell him that there is no pause, you're both MARRIED. IDK but you need clarification of what "pause" is and what he expects, and what you expect during this deployment. This "pause" shouldn't be a "get out of jail free" card for him to carouse.
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    He says itll be I wait for him, he waits for me and minium if not no contact. It is driving me nuts, I am soooo scared I am losing him. It is hard enough having him gone and knowing he is leaving soon and going to be in a combat zone, so I want to latch on and talk and communicate as much as possible, but I am getting nothing. I am becoming more and more depressed by the minute, if it were not for my 1 year old, I woul not have even gotten out of bed. I am trying sooo hard to give him his space and praying that he will come around and talk to me, but I am so scared I have lost him. I am 2k miles from my family and have one friend here, I do not think that he gets what he is putting me through and when I text him and tell him, he completely ignores it, like I mean nothing to him. I thought he loved me but I am starting to doubt everything.
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    #10
    That is so wrong! I don't understand it. You deserve much better than a pause!
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