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Thread: Friend issues

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    #1

    Friend issues

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    A female friend of mine has a boyfriend that's a no good piece of crap. She's always talking to me about her problems with him. She asked me what I thought and I told her I thought she should dump him. I dunno if that's what I should have said/how I should have said it, but whatever

    Well, she doesn't wanna dump him, but she's still venting to me about how he treats her badly.

    Would it be out of line for me to tell her that I don't want to hear about it anymore?
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    #2
    Not at all. Or start ignoring her hoping she gets the hint. exDB and I talked very bluntly to a friend of ours and then had to just start ignoring her because all she would do is complain about her husband and all their issues. She kept threatening to leave him and when we would give her honest advice, she would back peddle and defend him. It got tiring fast. Now she knows to either change the situation or don't bring it up around us.
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    #3
    Wouldn't be out of line at all, frankly. I've had this same issue with a friend that lasted for several years. Frequently he'd complain to me about how badly this girl had treated him, but that he couldn't get over her. I told him more times than I can count that he needed to move on, because the situation was not changing at all.

    Eventually I had to let him know that I've already told him what he should do, and since he didn't see fit to take any of the advice, I just didn't want to hear anything else about it. I don't enjoy being a broken record.
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    #4
    Nope, you have every right. I know how frustrating this situation can be but she's the only one that can change things for herself

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    #5
    It wouldn't be out of life, but she might not want to be your friend anymore.

    I understand it's frustrating.. my best friend acts like this a LOT. But sometimes, the thing with friends is that we have to deal with it. Sometimes friends just need someone to talk to to get stuff off their chest, or to feel like they have someone to turn to. Sometimes they just need a sounding board instead of direct advice. Just food for though.
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    #6
    Thanks I tried to tell her nicely but I don't think she got it so guess I'll have to be blunt
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    #7
    "You will never completely be at home again because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of knowing and loving people in more than one place."

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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Oliver View Post
    Thanks I tried to tell her nicely but I don't think she got it so guess I'll have to be blunt
    Yeah, good luck! I thought that would help too, but that just made things worse. Hopefully your friend has a bit more sense about her.
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    #9
    I've been "that girl" before. And I truly feel bad for my friends putting up with it from me for so long. Finally, they just told me that they loved me, but they voiced their opinions about so-and-so and they would be there when I needed them, but it just infuriated them to hear how he treated me and they couldn't hear it anymore until I decided to do something about it.

    Sure enough, I finally broke it off with him, and they were right by my side once I needed them to help me pick up the pieces.

    Just be honest with her and let her know you'll always be in her back corner. It's so frustrating to see how they're being treated and sit back and know there's nothing you can do to help
    Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like a boss.

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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by FruitPunch. View Post
    It wouldn't be out of life, but she might not want to be your friend anymore.

    I understand it's frustrating.. my best friend acts like this a LOT. But sometimes, the thing with friends is that we have to deal with it. Sometimes friends just need someone to talk to to get stuff off their chest, or to feel like they have someone to turn to. Sometimes they just need a sounding board instead of direct advice. Just food for though.
    I definitely see how this might be the case. I really try to be a good friend but I can only listen to someone I care about cry because some called her fat so many times before I start to lose it
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