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Thread: I feel like a bad g/f...

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    #1

    Sad I feel like a bad g/f...

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    ...because I go to the strip clubs without my SO.
    I mean we went when she was home and established that it meant nothing as far as affecting our relationship. So is it bad that I am going occasionally with my friends just to get out of the house and have some fun?

    I feel like a terrible g/f here even though she went with me when she was home and said it was okay. What do you think?
    "Love is just a chemical, we give it meaning by choice"---Eleanor Lamb (Bioshock2)
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    #2
    Every relationship has different boundaries, but if she said she doesn't care if you go, you don't have to feel bad. If it still makes you feel bad, just stop going?
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by january View Post
    Every relationship has different boundaries, but if she said she doesn't care if you go, you don't have to feel bad. If it still makes you feel bad, just stop going?
    it doesn't make you a bad gf but if it were me I would stop going. Anything that makes me feel bad or guilty usually means for me I shouldn't be doing it kwim?
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    I don't feel bad until after I get home and then think about how she is suffering in BMT. Obviously i know that by all means that does not mean I have to stay home and suffer as well, but I just have a guilt complex when I believe that things are not equal. Obviously when she gets home I will have no reason to go out...but for now it's just for a change of atmosphere and to get all my 'wild' side out so that I'm not drowning in it.
    "Love is just a chemical, we give it meaning by choice"---Eleanor Lamb (Bioshock2)
    " I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything. Maybe we're from the same star." ---Emery Allen
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    #5
    I agree. If it makes you feel bad, stop going. It doesn't make you a bad gf, though, since she said it was okay. Just do whatever is best for you and your relationship.
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by january View Post
    Every relationship has different boundaries, but if she said she doesn't care if you go, you don't have to feel bad. If it still makes you feel bad, just stop going?
    i agree with this
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    #7
    I do agree that if you feel bad, then it's best not to go.

    But I think there comes a point though where it's unhealthy to feel bad for just enjoying yourself and having fun, no matter where. As for the feeling itself I totally understand it, and sometimes I feel guilty for doing stuff while DH is in Afghanistan.

    But I also know that he WANTS me to be happy and to have fun ... if I were sitting around miserable all the time then he would feel even worse. So I try to think of it that way if I get in a funk. I'm sure your DG wants you to be happy and have fun too.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    I do agree that if you feel bad, then it's best not to go.

    But I think there comes a point though where it's unhealthy to feel bad for just enjoying yourself and having fun, no matter where. As for the feeling itself I totally understand it, and sometimes I feel guilty for doing stuff while DH is in Afghanistan.

    But I also know that he WANTS me to be happy and to have fun ... if I were sitting around miserable all the time then he would feel even worse. So I try to think of it that way if I get in a funk. I'm sure your DG wants you to be happy and have fun too.

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    #9
    If she's okay with it (genuinely okay), then it should be fine. But that doesn't mean YOU'RE okay with going without her. If it makes you feel bad, find a different activity for you and your friends to do. Or go even less frequently than you currently are.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojai View Post
    I do agree that if you feel bad, then it's best not to go.

    But I think there comes a point though where it's unhealthy to feel bad for just enjoying yourself and having fun, no matter where. As for the feeling itself I totally understand it, and sometimes I feel guilty for doing stuff while DH is in Afghanistan.

    But I also know that he WANTS me to be happy and to have fun ... if I were sitting around miserable all the time then he would feel even worse. So I try to think of it that way if I get in a funk. I'm sure your DG wants you to be happy and have fun too.
    If you feel guilty after each time you go, then perhaps it best not to go anymore.

    I'm kind of at odds with my own going out to clubs thing myself, but its with people I trust and they know I need to enjoy myself and have a good time to keep my mind off things, and my Better Half is understanding of that -- just as long as its not an everyday thing, because he knows I'm going through a lot and its a way to let loose and calm down. =)
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