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Thread: Am I wrong here?

  1. verabot89
    FruitPunch.'s Avatar
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    #1

    Am I wrong here?

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    My roommate, her boyfriend, and I all met on the same day. We all became friends and they started dating (though at the beginning she wasn't sure about him, and was simultaneously dating someone else). They are not official boyfriend and girlfriend but have basically assumed those roles.

    Stacey grew up here and has a million friends and always has plans and people to hang out with and things to do. John and I, basically, don't have any friends. Everyone I know here I've met through Stacey. I'm shy, and with my anxiety problems making new friends on my own is incredibly hard for me.

    Well because Stacey is always busy and off doing her thing, sometimes John and I have met up at the one bar we all go to four nights a week. At this bar, all the bartenders know us and don't charge us for all our drinks, all the patrons are familiar faces (one step closer to me making friends!), and it's right near where I live. Anytime we've met up, John's best and only male friend Steve has been there. Steve is engaged. They mostly talk about cars. It's about as platonic and boring as humanly possible.

    However, last night I was informed that this is not ok by Stacey, that it's breaking some unspoken rule, and that me hanging out with them without her makes her uncomfortable.

    I mean I can sort of see her perspective-- my roommate is hanging out with my boyfriend without me. But really... otherwise, John and I would both just be sitting at home, bored. We go to this bar ALL the time. John goes there almost daily by himself, because he knows the bar tenders. I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to go there now, because of that, without her. Like WTF, I need permission to see a friend or go to a bar I like because he might be there?

    She got all mad, and they got in a fight that I'm totally in the middle of. I like living with her, and we have fun, and I don't want to be in a situation where both my roommates hate me.

    I guess I'm just supposed to sit home by myself now when Stacey isn't available.
    MrsJennyyy is mah wife



  2. Living in paradise :D
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    #2
    I don't understand how sitting at home with him is any different than going to the bar with him. I think she's overreacting.
  3. verabot89
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by PrincessBlue505 View Post
    I don't understand how sitting at home with him is any different than going to the bar with him. I think she's overreacting.
    Oh to clarify... I meant we'd each be sitting in our respective homes alone. Versus hanging out in a public place with other people.
    MrsJennyyy is mah wife



  4. cuz i'm wonderful
    linzerfufu's Avatar
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    #4
    She's not being a very good friend. That's screwed up. I would be pissed at her.
  5. Senior Member
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by PrincessBlue505 View Post
    I don't understand how sitting at home with him is any different than going to the bar with him. I think she's overreacting.
    "Love is just a chemical, we give it meaning by choice"---Eleanor Lamb (Bioshock2)
    " I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything. Maybe we're from the same star." ---Emery Allen
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    #6
    If you've all known each other the same amount of time and you're equally close with both of them, she needs to get over it.
  7. MissOptimistic
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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by PrincessBlue505 View Post
    I don't understand how sitting at home with him is any different than going to the bar with him. I think she's overreacting.
  8. Living in paradise :D
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by FruitPunch. View Post
    Oh to clarify... I meant we'd each be sitting in our respective homes alone. Versus hanging out in a public place with other people.
    Oh, I thought he was living with you guys too. That makes it a little different.

    I still say she's overreacting as you and he were friends before they had a relationship.
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    #9
    She is overreacting if you all have been friends before they started dating then it shouldn't be a problem and she should know that you wouldn't do anything since all of you were friends before
  10. verabot89
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    #10
    Like we met on the same day, the night exDB broke up with me. So... March 1. He found her on facebook and we all hung out a couple of times (while she was still seeing someone else) and then they hooked up. Then she went on vacation for a week and a half with her exboyfriend. Came home, picked John over the other guy and that's that.
    MrsJennyyy is mah wife



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