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Thread: How do I bring it up?

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    #1

    How do I bring it up?

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    DH has always been a major helicopter parent. Which was fine when DD was tiny but now she's moblie and its a whole 'nother story. He freaks out when I give her diced bananna ( or sort of finger food) cause he thinks shes gonna choke on it. He freaks out in the bathtub that shes going to get soap in her eyes and go blind / shes gonna hit her head and drown ( even though i'm right there I never let her alone for a second) or thats shes gonna pull down the shower curtain. When she throws a tatrum he gives into her because he's afraid she'll hurt herself, even if shes throwing the tantrum on the carpet or in her crib...which only leads to MORE tanturms.
    I understand it might be a "daddy and his princess" type of situtiation but A.) its starting to cause more problems than it provents with the tantrums b.) its really starting to hurt my feelings as a mother . Sad but true he makes me feel like a bad mom when he goes on speel about her getting injured. In my head I know I'm doing just fine , shes happy and healthy its not like shes sticking forks in the light socket, but its hurts my maturnal side when he says stuff like that.

    I'm glad he cares about zoey so much and it makes me so happy to see the relationship they have, but I don't know how to tell him to tone down the protectiveness a notch?
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    do they have classes for over protective parents to show them that babys bounce? (figuratively of course)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    do they have classes for over protective parents to show them that babys bounce? (figuratively of course)
    only classes to tell you your baby poops, cries and is not ment to be shaken...
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    #4
    you poor thing I would lose my mind!

    I would send him to some kind of counselor or something!!! We have a new parent support program here..do you have something like that? A nurse comes to your house each months and does progress reports and you can ask any questions, etc. Maybe something like that would be good. He could ask any questions and you could get "expert advice" on all of the things he freaks out about with him there so he could be reassured that she isn't going to go blind if a little baby soap accidentally gets in her eyes
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    Quote Originally Posted by chickadeebaby View Post
    you poor thing I would lose my mind!

    I would send him to some kind of counselor or something!!! We have a new parent support program here..do you have something like that? A nurse comes to your house each months and does progress reports and you can ask any questions, etc. Maybe something like that would be good. He could ask any questions and you could get "expert advice" on all of the things he freaks out about with him there so he could be reassured that she isn't going to go blind if a little baby soap accidentally gets in her eyes
    I really don't think we have something that in-depth here. The WIC office is all about asking questions- they convinced DH she wouldn't choke on gerber puffs. I'll try to get him to go to her 9 month well-baby on thursday so maybe the doctor can re assure him of some of these things
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    #6
    I would ask the ped or the AFRC if you have it..I don't know if it is an air force thing or a base to bade thing
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    Quote Originally Posted by chickadeebaby View Post
    I would ask the ped or the AFRC if you have it..I don't know if it is an air force thing or a base to bade thing
    I'm always bugging the AFRC cause they hold play groups here They have like a devolpmental specialist and new parent support meetings but no one that will come to your DH and tell him his daughter is not made out of glass
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    #8
    He needs to chat with my dh we have four kids between us. Our motto is... If they aren't broken or bleeding, they will live.

    Is amazing how much more relaxed you get with each child. I take it he never babysat or had younger siblings, that changes a lot too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crystal View Post
    He needs to chat with my dh we have four kids between us. Our motto is... If they aren't broken or bleeding, they will live.

    Is amazing how much more relaxed you get with each child. I take it he never babysat or had younger siblings, that changes a lot too.

    Call me if you ever need to vent!
    Nope there aren't any younger girls in his family...I get the feeling it would be different if she was a boy but it doesn't mean i'm going to put up with temper tantrums
    Oh side note: we have some NASTY thunderstorms circling the area
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Guynavywife View Post
    do they have classes for over protective parents to show them that babys bounce? (figuratively of course)
    roflmao.....no, be nice if they did though.


    OP i would just tell him that once newborns and infants get to a certain age, they are very resilient. And that he's hovering a bit too much and that if she can't fall now it will be traumatic for her if she's two or three and falls and flips out. just tell him he's an awesome parent but its time to turn the parental helicopter thing down a notch or two. that has to be frustrating for you to see and experience.
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