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Thread: antisocial and need help.

  1. Fresh Newbie
    imjustme410's Avatar
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    #1

    antisocial and need help.

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    Ok, have to start from the beginning, i got marred two years ago and found out dh cheated on me, our marriage was a wreck. I tried to pull it together but had my spouts of rage and anger. Dh vented to his friends about how i was acting, and being controlling (leaving out the fact he cheated) making me out to look like a psycho. Any friends i have made here in the past two years he's managed to drag them into it, leaving me friendless. Of course most of them are other military spouses, and the base we're at is another version of highschool. It's gotten to the point where i hate going to family days with him, because i am literally standing there talking to no one with everyone staring at me. I slipped into depression mode and have become antisocial. It doesn't help that my key spouse only focuses on family stuff for kids 4 and up (dd is 9 months), leaving me and a few others out when spouse events arise. We've been going to marriage counseling and its getting better, but dh still doesn't get that he damaged my reputation from what he's said and done before. I need help on getting out of this rut and how to get past the insecurities and whispers, and be able to make friends again. Has anyone ever been through this before? Or have any ideas on how to get past it?
  2. Livin~Lovin~Laughin
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by imjustme410 View Post
    Ok, have to start from the beginning, i got marred two years ago and found out dh cheated on me, our marriage was a wreck. I tried to pull it together but had my spouts of rage and anger. Dh vented to his friends about how i was acting, and being controlling (leaving out the fact he cheated) making me out to look like a psycho. Any friends i have made here in the past two years he's managed to drag them into it, leaving me friendless. Of course most of them are other military spouses, and the base we're at is another version of highschool. It's gotten to the point where i hate going to family days with him, because i am literally standing there talking to no one with everyone staring at me. I slipped into depression mode and have become antisocial. It doesn't help that my key spouse only focuses on family stuff for kids 4 and up (dd is 9 months), leaving me and a few others out when spouse events arise. We've been going to marriage counseling and its getting better, but dh still doesn't get that he damaged my reputation from what he's said and done before. I need help on getting out of this rut and how to get past the insecurities and whispers, and be able to make friends again. Has anyone ever been through this before? Or have any ideas on how to get past it?
    First, hi and welcome to the board. Take a moment to go to the newbies section and post an intro. Don't forget to read the things all newbies need to know.

    I'm sorry you are going through this. It's hard place to be. Only thing that will make it better is time and maybe a transfer. It's hard to undo the damage done when your spouse tells tales outside of the home.

    Perhaps you could work on making friends outside of that military circle that don't really know your history. Stick with counseling and don't give up.





    "Don't worry about being right,
    just worry about being kind."
    ~Tilly Therber
  3. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
    Tojai's Avatar
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    #3
    Honestly, I would stop going to the family stuff. If he's poisoned the well and everyone is just going to give you the stinkeye, why put yourself through that? It doesn't sound good for you at all.

    I agree with Solstice, I would try branching out and making new friends, find some people who are supportive and aren't going to judge.

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