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Thread: Afraid of losing intimacy with DH

  1. I like to think of jesus as a michevious badger
    ilovemyMP's Avatar
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    #1

    Afraid of losing intimacy with DH

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    So ever since my belly got pretty big, which started right around the time I entered my 3rd trimester, DH won't have sex with me.
    Since we've been married we've had sex once, that was march 17th.

    He says he just feels weird like he's going to poke him or something and uses the I'm tired excuse all the time, because believe me, I try multiple times a day to try and have sex with him!

    We went from having sex multiple times a day to zero and I feel soooo unattractive! He calls me gorgeous everyday and that I still turn him on just as much as I did before I was pregnant but I just don't understand why he just won't have sex with me!

    We cuddle and stuff when we sleep but he won't makeout with me either because I think he knows that will lead to sex.

    I'm just ugh.... Out of ideas. And I don't want it to get to the point where we forget how to be intimate ya know? With the baby's arrival coming soon I know that will cause an interference with our sex lives even more.

    What do I do??!
    Help me

  2. In vino veritas
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    #2
    Next GYN appt you have, make him come with you so you can discuss sex with a doctor. He will learn that the head of the penis doesn't even hit the cervix (because of the bend in the human reproductive system), let alone come near the child. I would also explain to him how, no matter what he says, to you, his actions make your self-esteem take a hit, and for you, he needs to do it.
  3. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.VinoVet View Post
    Next GYN appt you have, make him come with you so you can discuss sex with a doctor. He will learn that the head of the penis doesn't even hit the cervix (because of the bend in the human reproductive system), let alone come near the child. I would also explain to him how, no matter what he says, to you, his actions make your self-esteem take a hit, and for you, he needs to do it.
    Vino said everything I was going to say. DH was a little freaked out too, but the OB explained it effortlessly, and it made him feel totally comfortable
    ​​​

    “Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” -- Carl Sagan

  4. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Dr.VinoVet View Post
    Next GYN appt you have, make him come with you so you can discuss sex with a doctor. He will learn that the head of the penis doesn't even hit the cervix (because of the bend in the human reproductive system), let alone come near the child. I would also explain to him how, no matter what he says, to you, his actions make your self-esteem take a hit, and for you, he needs to do it.
    I agree with most of this. Alleviate his fears and then see where you're at. However, I don't think a partner should ever do something sexually that they are truly not comfortable with to make their partner happy.
  5. BingBangBoom that's how babies are made
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by LadyLouWho View Post
    I agree with most of this. Alleviate his fears and then see where you're at. However, I don't think a partner should ever do something sexually that they are truly not comfortable with to make their partner happy.

    "Thank you so much. No matter what, nothing is possible without you behind the scenes bustin heads and takin names. Thank you again. Everything you have done for me means a lot and nothing has gone unnoticed. I love you so much and thank you for saying 'I do.'"
  6. In vino veritas
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by LadyLouWho View Post
    I agree with most of this. Alleviate his fears and then see where you're at. However, I don't think a partner should ever do something sexually that they are truly not comfortable with to make their partner happy.
    Agreed. I worded it poorly. I meant mostly that if he loves you, he will not continue to use fear as an excuse. I would hope that once he knows its fine, that he would want to gain, and he will want to do it again because he loves you.
  7. I like to think of jesus as a michevious badger
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    #7
    Thank you ladies. I've told him that it's physically impossible for him to poke him but maybe he does need to hear it from a doctor

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