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Thread: my sister *long

  1. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #1

    my sister *long

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    drives me nuts.
    Really, absolutely crazy.

    this is the situation:
    my mom met my stepdad when I was four. My stepsisters were (D)five and (C)thirteen. They got married three years later. Occasionally, my older sister, C would watch D and I when my mom and stepdad went out. Like, maybe once a month if that.
    My brother was born after they got married and when my mom went back to work C would watch us on Wednesdays after school. She would take us down the street to eat and to the park. Some awesome memories with my siblings happened when she would hang out with us.
    We ended up moving a couple years later and my sister would watch us on Tuesday and Wednesdays. But it wasn't for long because my mom started to stay home with us again.
    C moved out at eighteen with her boyfriend and now husband. She sometimes would watch our younger brother, but rarely. Maybe a handful of times.

    Fast forward to almost three years ago. My sister lets us know she's expecting. oh, shit. I'm pregnant, too. She's going to hate me. "This is her moment."
    She did. It was incredibly awkward. She resents Keygan. She gets weird and jealous when my stepdad holds or plays with him. I lived with our parents before Jason and I were married. And she said means things like,
    "My dad is raising his wife's daughter's baby." um, no he didn't. That's crap. My mom helped watched Keygan when I worked as a waitress for 8 hours a day. And for that I am still so thankful. But I provide for and raise my son. I worked two jobs until the week I gave birth to him. But I don't need to prove myself to anyone.

    At her babyshower her sil, made us go around in a circle and say why C is going to be a great mother. C's best friend's mother says, "You're going to be a great mother because you raising your brother and sisters"
    What the fuck!? Okay, that must be what she tells people. She is delusional. She did not raise us. She didn't put food on the table, teach me things, or put me to bed every night with bed stories. No, that was our parents.


    This is the current situation. My uncle has cancer. He's coming out to California and my stepdad and the rest of his siblings are going to meet up for a get together in Palm Dessert and talk about that and my grandmother who my parents are currently caring for. She also has cancer and had a bad fall recently and ended up in the hospital.
    My parents asked C to watch our younger brother for three days. My sister agreed but only said she'll take him to school and not hockey practice because she didn't get to that when she was younger. She did drill team and could have done well with it, but she quit. And even if that was the case. Who cares!? Our parents had a different financial situation then and if they can afford for our brother to play hockey and go to the state championship, she should be happy and proud!

    She is always acting like a victim. She thinks everyone owes her something and if something doesn't go her way she is cruel. She disrespects my parents in front of people all the time. My stepdad shrugs it off and knows she has issues. It genuinely hurts my mom. My mom married my step dad and has loved my sisters unconditionally, but they continue to spit on my mom time and time again. They act like their biological mother is so much better, and blame all the things she did on my mom. My mom never deserted them or sold their clothes and toys for drugs. She has only wanted the best for them and still gets hurt.

    I want so badly to stand up for our parents, but I know it will go badly. C doesn't see reason. Do we just tolerate her ways and try to shrug it off like my stepdad? When she tries to turn me against them, I always walk away. I want so badly to say, "you're nuts. I love you, but you don't see things for what they are. stop acting like you had such a horrible life and appreciate that you have a family who loves and supports you." I know she won't listen. and I know she'll talk crap on me to anyone who listens. She probably already does that.

    I just don't get it. Our family wasn't that dysfunctional. We always did things together. I can go to them for anything.
    I've cut her out of my life for the most part, but my heart truly hurts for her. I don't want her to hate our family.
    What would you do?


    yeah that's long
  2. Senior Member
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    That's tough. Not sure what I would do in that situation. I know it won't help anything not to say something. I want to say that I would have a heart to heart and let her know how you feel in a non confrontational way. Use "I feel" and not "well you". It can't get better by ignoring it. If a relationship with her and "mending" your family dynamic means that much, I would approach her. Will you see her in person anytime soon?
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  4. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #4
    Quote Originally Posted by ArmyCupcake View Post
    That's tough. Not sure what I would do in that situation. I know it won't help anything not to say something. I want to say that I would have a heart to heart and let her know how you feel in a non confrontational way. Use "I feel" and not "well you". It can't get better by ignoring it. If a relationship with her and "mending" your family dynamic means that much, I would approach her. Will you see her in person anytime soon?
    Yeah, we move back to CA next month.
    That's a good idea. Thanks for the advice. I just want her to be happy, you know?
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by jordana View Post
    Yeah, we move back to CA next month.
    That's a good idea. Thanks for the advice. I just want her to be happy, you know?
    I would do it then. Maybe take her to lunch . Talk in a neutral area.
  6. MilitarySOS Jewel
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    #6
    Quote Originally Posted by ArmyCupcake View Post
    I would do it then. Maybe take her to lunch . Talk in a neutral area.
    she would like that. thanks again!

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