Someone HELP!

Hello everyone!
I am new to this site. My boyfriend is in the ARMY and I couldn't be more proud of him, but we have a HUGE issue. Ever since he came home from Iraq he hasn't been the same. He is having many problems mentally. He lost 10 of his buddies while he was over there and blames himself for it. He said he needs time to work out all the things going on in his head. We just "split up" this past Tuesday. He said he loves me more then anything and that he wants to get back together, but that he has to be selfish right now and work on his issues. I feel lost without him and almost blame myself. I want to be there to support him and help but he is almost pushing me away. Please has anyone been in this situation? What can I do? I miss him so much. I never thought that it would be this hard when he came back home. In my mind I thought everything would be back to normal. Anyone with advice please help! I love my man and want to be there for him.

[MrsEustice]

i have never been in that situation, but i will pray for him and hope he gets the help he needs to help him cope with the tradgedies that he has endured.

[SIMMYBABEZ]

I am so sorry hun.

I have never been through a situation like this exactly. But when my husband (fiance at time) tried pushing me away cos HE was dealing with the same issues, I didn't let him. I helped him through it and he ended up being thankful he had a shoulder to cry on and he was thankful I didn't let him push me away etc etc.

I think you just need to be really supportive and patient right now. Be there for him, and give him time. He is obviously going through so much. He does still need love and support though.

Sorry you are going through this hun. I don't have too much advice.

[Jennifer]

You need to give him time to deal with his issues-be supportive, don't abandon him, but don't pressure him. Iraq is a tough place, especially since he lsot buddies over there. Make sure he is seeing a counselor, and give him time.

[leftover]

Originally Posted by Jennifer You need to give him time to deal with his issues-be supportive, don't abandon him, but don't pressure him. Iraq is a tough place, especially since he lsot buddies over there. Make sure he is seeing a counselor, and give him time.

I don't think it would be out of line to drop him a weekly phone call to let him know that you are thinking of him, and you are still there for him..

Welcome to the forum!!!

[jlbecker]

i'm sorry i haven't been through anything like this but it sounds like he needs some time on his own. He has been through an incredibly traumatic experience to which a very small percentage of the populaton can relate. i'm sure you're intentions are very good, but i'd give him some space to deal with his trauma. it doesn't mean you need to disappear, just give him time to heal/deal.

[Pebbles]

Originally Posted by Jennifer You need to give him time to deal with his issues-be supportive, don't abandon him, but don't pressure him. Iraq is a tough place, especially since he lsot buddies over there. Make sure he is seeing a counselor, and give him time.

Excellent advice.

[GlitterCrotch]

That is a tough situation for you both, and you both have my
He needs to feel like he only has to worry about himself, I'm sure so I would do as the other suggested and call weekly to let him know you care about him still. Don't pressure him about your relationship, but make yourself available to talk to him if he wants to. Just don't date anyone else in the meantime if you plan on getting back with him.

[define]

Originally Posted by Jennifer You need to give him time to deal with his issues-be supportive, don't abandon him, but don't pressure him. Iraq is a tough place, especially since he lsot buddies over there. Make sure he is seeing a counselor, and give him time.

Well said & great advice. He's going through a rough time and while it seems like he's pushing you away, he still needs you. Just let him know that you're there for him every once in a while.

I haven't been in your situation but I wish you the best.

[girl20racer]

Originally Posted by Jennifer You need to give him time to deal with his issues-be supportive, don't abandon him, but don't pressure him. Iraq is a tough place, especially since he lsot buddies over there. Make sure he is seeing a counselor, and give him time.

x2

Hang in there sweetie, I know it's a tough time, but we're here for you and you need to be there for him too