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Thread: I don't know what to do

  1. Fresh Newbie
    warzoneathome's Avatar
    warzoneathome is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Jan 2018

    I don't know what to do

    Sorry if I don't get the initials for people that I am supposed to use like SO or DH or whatever.. But my husband is a vet we have been together for 8 years he got out of army prior to us being together. within the past 4 years he seems to just be angry all the time and the smallest things seems to set him off in on a war path.
    He has been diagnosed with PTSD and TBI but VA keeps denying his Disability but that's for another thread.
    I have an 18 year old son that lives in my home, and for some reason my 18 year old tends to trigger him the most. if it is just my husband and I in the house I can usually get him to calm back down after he throws stuff around the house and breaks things but if my 18 year old is in the house it seems he just gets more and more heated and then ends up in a full blown PTSD melt down full flash backs and nothing can calm him.
    I 'm at my wits end I love him dearly but this is too much at times. I need people I can talk to but there isn't anyone in this area we live in.
    please only comment on this if you are a spouse and have dealt with this before and can offer supporting advise not criticism, that's really the last thing I need to hear right now and that's usually why I avoid talking to people about this.
  2. Senior Member
    kt_bug's Avatar
    kt_bug is offline
    Senior Member
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    Jul 2016
    Is he getting help for his PTSD?
  3. Dancing Backwards in High Heels
    HisJuliet's Avatar
    HisJuliet is offline
    Dancing Backwards in High Heels
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    First off Second, I'm not sure what type of advice you are looking for, but I'll give what I've got. Most importantly, you need to make sure you and your son are safe. PTSD may be a cause of his behaviors, but if he's not getting help then there isn't much you can do to help him. By "calming him down" or dealing with it, you may be just enabling his behavior.

    PTSD is NOT an excuse to treat people like shit. Yelling, throwing things is not healthy and you need to protect yourself. Establish a safety plan, figure out what you and your son will do if he refuses to get help for his PTSD. Talk with him about getting help and don't let him give up getting help if he's unable to get it through the VA. Most providers can help with PTSD. Let him know what your plan is if he refuses treatment and be sure to follow through if he doesn't.

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