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Thread: Beyond confused .....are these symptoms of his PTSD?

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    #1

    Help Beyond confused .....are these symptoms of his PTSD?

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    Its only been 5 months now and I am holding off on getting into our relationship until i feel he is ready to get into one. He will tell me I love you regularly, talks about his house that is being built and me living there with my child and starting a family together and building on us. When we get to spend time together it's great and it reminds my why I loved him years ago and why we were perfect for each other in my mind at the time.

    Here's where things just go to another place....

    He works a lot and he is trying to rank up so its stress and usual frustration associated with that. I contact him to check in on him and his day, everyday but it seems when I call I rarely get a call back and at times he doesn't write back. Granted he goes to sleep a lot, that is not a problem but am I wrong for expecting a text at least "Babe I'm tired so I'm gonna go to sleep"...something other than you post on social media a bottle of alcohol and a glass and caption " This type of night" and still don't write or call me back or end up at a baseball game or a sports bar or something and never contact me and when I ask you about it you act as if it never happened or change the conversation. But you let me know it wont happen again.

    Then when I mention to you how it makes me feel, like you forget about me but you tell me " Never I never forget about you I think about you all the time" for me it is hard to believe you because your actions show otherwise. So Its like am I dong something wrong in allowing these things to continue? Is this a part of his PTSD or depression ( depression because he takes anti-depressant) or is this him being an a**hole and a normal guy who simply doesn't care?


    What am I doing? Am I an idiot for loving him so much and wanting to be there? Am I a fool for thinking that things will work this time if we date when the didn't work the first time we dated in high school and the second time years ago? Am I foolish for still wanting a future with him? Am I thinking too much? Like wth do I do? How should I feel? Personal or just a casualty of our type of love?
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    #2
    You shouldn't allow someone to treat you this way regardless of the wonderful things he has said. Actions over words... Have a talk with him about how this is making you feel and if he doesn't make drastic changes, you need to decide if you will continue to put up with it. Sometimes these men don't "get it" until we walk out the door and show them that we will not put up with being mistreated.


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    #3
    Many times PTSD is experienced differently. This sounds more like a communication issue. it could be that you guys have very different communication styles. It does however sound like his depression could be playing a part in it. As a spouse of someone who has PTSD as well as a degree holder in Psychology, I think you and your SO need to have a serious talk about whether or not you want the same things in life. Best of luck!
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    To me, it doesn't really matter if it is PTSD. If he isn't getting treatment, the affect on you is the same, and that's not fair or healthy. You are dating a man who doesn't treat you well and may have an active drinking problem. Look at that sentence, and read it several times. Then ask yourself if that's really a relationship you want to continue.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by villanelle View Post
    To me, it doesn't really matter if it is PTSD. If he isn't getting treatment, the affect on you is the same, and that's not fair or healthy. You are dating a man who doesn't treat you well and may have an active drinking problem. Look at that sentence, and read it several times. Then ask yourself if that's really a relationship you want to continue.
    Agree!! If he chooses not to change after a serious convo I truly believe you deserve better.
    "She knew she loved him when 'home' went from being a place to being a person."
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    It might have something to do with depression. Some people keep to themselves when their down, even when you're on their mind all day. SO and I are both like that.
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    #7
    These are symptoms of him being an asshole. I should also note that "normal guy who simply doesn't care" is a ridiculous statement. Most do.

    I would talk to him about it and if he doesn't change move on.
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by akaSARAH View Post
    It might have something to do with depression. Some people keep to themselves when their down, even when you're on their mind all day. SO and I are both like that.
    Everyone keeps to themselves once in awhile. But theirs a huge diffetence between keeping to himself and ignoring her but going out or posting on fb. To me anyway.
    "She knew she loved him when 'home' went from being a place to being a person."
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    #9
    *clears throat* The OP hasn't been here since the middle of June. Jus' sayin'.
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Sunbeam View Post
    *clears throat* The OP hasn't been here since the middle of June. Jus' sayin'.
    Good point!
    "She knew she loved him when 'home' went from being a place to being a person."
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