I dunno what to do anymore...

I thought that since my b/f return from Iraq we would be more together. Seems like since he been home i hear from him less. Sometimes, I feel so, sad like I done something wrong. I dunno what to say or even do anymore he doesn't call me much i have to call him all the time. Last night, I was really hurt the most because, I thought we all were able to see each other night because, I was supposed to go to San Antonio for this weekend ( that was cancelled due to my boys illness)). I called him at 630pm he told me he was going to take a shower and, than eat okay by this time it was 815pm, he calls me back and, tells me that hes waiting on the pizzaman to delivery his pizza he will call me back. It was 11pm; no call so, I call text him telling him its sad that my own b/f would stood me up and, i went to bed. He calls me back at 1130pm we talk for a few. I didn't argue with him but, I told him how I felt though i told him that he was deployed for 1 yr and now with his return hes more distant than ever i dont know if its me or what- What did I do wrong? I just try to back off alot, i all i really want is to spend time with my boyfriend that i havent see for 1 yr. As soon he returns from Iraq he takes block to see his family in California for 1 month. Okay cool i was going to SA for the holidays anyways-Now hes back its like hes less distant with me. Because when he first return we talk about everything his experience in Iraq which I didnt ask about he brought up upon himself we talk so much now, its like Hi we talk for 5 minutes and bye i dont hear from him another 2 weeks.
All of sudden @ 300am I get yahoo message on my messanger telling me how he loves me and,he would hate to lose me because i was the best thing happen to him because, he will realize soon i will gone and it will be too late. That he was sorry and he promise to be in my life more. Than he wrote me a poem saying:
Don’t even like to think about it
I don’t now what I would do without it
I only know I live and breath for your love
Baby you come to me in my time of need
When I needed you, you were there for me
Baby, the love from you is what you got me through
It’s because of you I was able to
Give my heart again, you gave me
hope
I thought I’d never love again
I though my life was over and
I didn’t want to face nor even see another day
Suddenly form nowhere, baby you appeared
You dried my tears, you cared for me
Baby you love for me, truly rescued me
It’s because of you, I was able to
Fall in love again

i love u


Now, I dont know what to think or say anymore because one day he loves me, and the next day he so distant. I was really hurt the most because, i thought my B/F got me something for Christmas and, he didn;t get me anything. I wouldn't suprise if, I didnt get anything for Valentines day. Im just too hurt lately. Im tired of being hurt. I just wish my b/f was the same i know hes not going to be because he been to iraq but, he tells me that none of that has affect him psychologically/emotionally- he been seen by Psychiatrist had 3 assessments and re-assessment all ntested negative for PSTD.

[Del]

Yikes. That's harsh, the back and forth. I'm sorry you feel so heartbroken!

I'd definitely try to be as honest with him as you can be. Let him know that you understand things are different now, but that's no reason to avoid you. And let him know that if he continues acting like this, you won't be able to handle how hurt it makes you feel. It sounds like he loves you and doesn't want to hurt you - maybe he's just having a hard time looking beyond himself right now? Try to be clear with him about how you feel and that might help....

Uh, I'm sorry, I don't know that I really have much advice to give. But, just because he doesn't have PTSD doesn't mean there aren't other war issues he's dealing with. And just because the military says he doesn't have PTSD doesn't make it true (my father very obviously suffers from PTSD and the military tried to deny that for almost forty years)...

I hope you feel better soon, with everything!

[Traci]

Wow. You guys need to talk about this but alot of guys/gals return from that area with some issues because of the things they have seen or done. My DH is alway quite when he returns from a deployment but it only takes a day or two and he is back to his normal self. I think he needs to see someone to help him with this hump.

Im sorry that you are going through this. He doesnt have to have PTSD to act the way he is. It does take a while for them to redjust to normal life. He maybe just really going through somethings. Not saying that what he is doing is right, but it can be the case. Talking to him about it seemed to have gotten through to him going by the poem he wrote. All you really can do is talk to eachother about it.

I really hope that things work out honey.

[leftover]

Originally Posted by LaurenOC Im sorry that you are going through this. He doesnt have to have PTSD to act the way he is. It does take a while for them to redjust to normal life.

They told us the exact same thing at our family reintegration seminars..

I remember my brother locked himself in the garage for a couple weeks after he came home.. He just wanted to be alone..

It's gotta be almost impossible to not take that kind of stuff personally. I'm sure I would.