How to get them to counseling...

[Kelly Michelle]

I know you cant force it, but everyone around Josh KNOWS he needs counseling. His outlook on life is SO distorted now.

Are there any tricks to get him to go?

Any ways people have used to make them think it was HIS idea?!

[*skittles*]

I wouldn't say there is a trick...I'd say open and honest communication and if nothing else get on military onesource and call a free counselor and ask for advice and maybe they can send you pamphlets and information.

The mental health stigma for PTSD has come a LONG way in the military, and your husbands career will not suffer if he seeks help. Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

[Britt]

I called and made the appointment for him. Then we both went. This happened both while he was in the Navy and after he got out.

[terribletm]

We are going through this right now. There is now "tricks" to get them to go. They have to hit rock bottom. I've argued, scheduled, pleaded and begged for DB to get counseling it doesn't work. Finally, after years of him suffering he hit rock bottom and realized that he isn't ok and needs help. If they don't want to go or aren't ready they won't go. Sorry if you think I'm being negative, but I just wanted to tell you the truth.

[janel]

I am going through it now with my solider and it is really hard

[[Elizabeth]]

Only "trick" I did was saying I was concerned for our families safety, and that was because when he would have a flashback he would get violent and aggressive with anything in his path.

I'd have an open talk with him if I was you.

[Kris]

I don't think that tricks would work. If the person is not willing to admit there is a problem even if you force them to go to therapy it will not work.

Now, what worked for me is when dh and I started having problems I went to therapy. I occasionally ask him to go with me, and we have now started talking about him going on his own. I was honest about my needs for support and understanding, and that helped him understand that we were in this together.

[Brittany Rashel]

They really are going to have to want the counseling. I begged and pleaded with DH, I got his mom involved and we both tried to get him there. It took a year and almost getting a divorce for him to realize just how bad it was. He couldn't accept that he had issues from being over there. He supressed his emotions and it would only come out when he drank. I hope your DH gets into counseling soon. PTSD is a scary thing to deal with.

[nana_bear15]

You can't trick it. I asked for marriage counseling that turned into his own private counseling we just kinda fazed me out slowly. I called it "marriage maitenence." Just told DH that it helped my mom and dad whenever he came home from a deployment to "readjust" and it helped prevent alot of that post deployment arguing. I recommend it anyways for post deployment times. It really helps, if your DH has issues a good therapist will tap on it. Just be supportive and focus on the TWO of you and not just him. I would imagine it would make him feel fustrated and embarrased to go by himself. So find a different outlook and go as a couple to help the readjustment. KWIM? Make it a positive experience not a negative one that is focused on what he is doing wrong. Learned that one with DH. Brought us closer and helped with other issues that I wanted DH to confront. My therapist would just focus more on him and I would sit quietly and agree to the point where DH didn't need me to go anymore. He actually asked if I didn't go so that he could just focus on himself.

[Traci08]

I wish there were tricks! I don't even think these forums would even exist if there were tricks to get them to go.

"We are going through this right now. There is now "tricks" to get them to go. They have to hit rock bottom. I've argued, scheduled, pleaded and begged for DB to get counseling it doesn't work. Finally, after years of him suffering he hit rock bottom and realized that he isn't ok and needs help. If they don't want to go or aren't ready they won't go. Sorry if you think I'm being negative, but I just wanted to tell you the truth. "

I do not think there is anything negative in this post. It speaks the truth. Most live in denial for years. The best thing you can do right now is build up his trust and keep communicating with him. PTSD changes the mind in such a way it is very hard to comprehend. My advice to you is to help you. Don't make PTSD your PTSD you will absolutely going effing nuts! Get into counseling for yourself, talk about all of this. Get in a good place so that when he is ready to face it and confront it you can be that strong support he is going to need. And he WILL need it. If you build up walls so you won't get your heart broken as he has already built his, you will go down with him and you will fall to his level of caring so much that you'll just eventually stop caring.

I do talk to a war veteran who has PTSD due to combat traumas. He said the one thing he has issues with is when he opens up his feelings only to be corrected on how his feelings effect his family. Every time he talks, the most important thing is to respect our sufferers. If there is only one thing you can accomplish with your spouse, get him to trust you and keep his trust. When you've accomplished this goal, then talk about the counseling.