help...what do ya'll think?

[cadabug]

My DB has just returned to Iraq for his second deployment there. He had a really hard time there last time and hated it. It has not even been a week since he has been in Iraq when a conversation between us took a sudden change. He went from talking about when he gets home to living together to suddenly asking me for space. He says he is confused about everything in his life. He doesn't understand the feelings he feels and that he is really stressed out and confused. He does not make clear what space is when I ask him. He is going to get out of the military in about a year, so he is also really confused about what he will do when he gets out. But we made all sorts of plans to be together. Suddenly, he doesn't know about anything anymore. He called today and said he feels like he's losing his mind. I am so worried about him. He has gone back to a place he hates, and he has a lot of high anxiety and stress. I'm afraid he might be having some adjustment issues, or maybe PTSD. Does this sound like something anybody else has gone through? When he came back from his first deployment he also had some adjustment issues with being back to regular life. I love him so much and don't know what to do. I'm just trying to be as supportive as possible and not ask a lot of questions because I don't want to pry information out of him if he needs space. What should I do?
Thanks!

[Britt]

If it's a recent return, you probably could give him some space. Maybe limit your calls to 1 per day so he knows you're thinking about him, etc.

The only thing you can do is love him and support him. Most of all, don't make plans! Don't talk about the future. Let him wrap his head around the here and the now. I know it's painful for you because you guys did have plans, and now he needs his time, but really, you have to give it to him or he will resent you for it.

I'm thankful that my husband never told me he needed space. When he has tried to push me away, I got in his face and I told him that I loved him, Damnit, and to knock this **** off. It worked with HIM, because it's HIM. My husband and I have a very strong relationship connected by 13 years of friendship, and then marriage. I know him better than I know myself, so I know when I can call him on the carpet, and I know that he'll always respond to me. I'm very grateful that PTSD has not taken that away from us.

Only you would really know which way to talk to your SO.

[Geotech]

Doesn't sound like PTSD sounds like readjustment period.

[Roboto]

If he's telling you he feels like he's losing his mind, maybe you should suggest that he talk to someone. Preferably a doctor, but if there isn't one available maybe a corpsman or a chaplin. I hope everything works out.

[Britt]

My husband was a corpsman, with PTSD, and is now out of the military, and in a residential PTSD program. And there are STILL marines (young and old) that tell him, "Doc, would you go for a walk with me? I gotta talk..."

Now hopefully, your marine doesn't have a douchebag corpsman.

If he doesn't feel comfortable talking with anyone in the military, tell him to try Military One Source. They are civilians that work on military installations. However, since you indicated that he's considering getting out, you should stress to him that for his post-military care, it should be documented in his medical records that he is having intrusive thoughts, anxiety, confusion, etc. It will help him out once he gets out. The VA will take better care of him if he's diagnosed with an adjustment disorder by the military. Otherwise, if he tries to claim PTSD or any other psychological disorders caused by his deployments, the VA will make it difficult for him. They have become very strict on their PTSD guidelines and don't like handing out the rating for it.