Blanket over my mind.

[kiwijus]

I'm very calm today.

Like there's a blanket over my mind, pacifying it. No ups; no downs, either. I hear what's going on around me, but I don't like to think about it. Requires too much strength.

I read, but not long, and I'm on to something else. It's like floating down a river, no tension in my muscles, just the pull of gravity, and things swirling around me that I care not to pay attention to.

Part of me knows. I'm sure I could will myself to speed my thinking, but it's like a blanket, heavy and calming, and for once I don't have to think. It's like being drunk - there's the part of you that acts, and an almost separate entity that thinks, which is suppressed by the Prozac.

I turned off my normal music and turned on earthy, nature things. It doesn't move as fast. I spent two hours in the bath, and then brought DH the car, and then came home and did the dishes because I had nothing else to do.

I seem to do a lot of wandering around in my own mind, now. Even when I try to focus, I find that my mind is soon somewhere else, and I'm content to follow along with it. Effects of the drug, as obviously I am drugged. This took nearly 20 minutes to write, and although I have smiled in my mind, I know my face has remained blank. Only my fingers are moving.

I kind of like it. I wonder how long this will last.

[HellOhKitty]

I dont know really what to say to this, other than I have been there, and things have been bad enough to enjoy that blank feeling. Its nice to be able to wander in ones own head after things have been so bad for so long

[Traci08]

wow... i love reading your stuff. it puts everything in perspective, when its difficult to know what my husband is thinking/doing. thank you for sharing this.