The drama here - PTSD

hisgirl7477 · 06-02-2009, 07:43 AM

I'm starting a new thread kind of piggy backing off of the "I think he's going through it" thread because I don't want that OP to come back and see all the drama on her thread.

Its not just that thread. People say things sometimes in this forum that just aren't appropriate for this particular topic -its fine anywhere else on this site, but not here. And I think I can speak for my PTSD sisters when I say we'd just really appreciate it if we can keep those kind of comments to other forums and PMS and things like that. Just in case some poor soul is lost and needs a place to feel free to ask for suport - we dont' want her to see all our crap being thrown back and forth. That's all. Someone had a problem with me at one point and she PMd me - for that I was very very grateful. We worked it out and I think now everything is ok. I think that works much better in here due to the sensitivity of this topic.

What you can say in other forums and not get backlash for won't work here. Personally, I love BJ's posts on other forums. They're on point and helpful. I like how she seems to not sugar coat it. But here, its just different and well, maybe we need a lot more sugar coating.

And again, for me anyway - that post was just where the topic was brought up. I don't feel like this is in any way a "Brittene Jo" issue. BJ I'm sorry if you feel I was calling you out - that was not my inention. My issue is that we all please try to be more sensitive than usual here. Here, in this forum where we're all mostly heartbroken - great care and attention to feelings is needed. That's all.

And Starryeyesand Traci and I are saying that when you say "does he have a diagnosis" it upsets us - for all the reasons Staryeyes and I pointed out in the aforementioned post. That's all - simple and done.

jessi01 · 06-02-2009, 07:54 AM

Oh gee, I must've missed something. I agree, the PTSD forum might be one place where people may want to be a little more cautious on how things are worded or what they say. I haven't had anyone be anything other than amazingly supportive of me and I am so so grateful for all of that. I can imagine though, if someone had said something hurtful to me in there I would probably be devastated.

louisa85 · 06-02-2009, 06:34 PM

Originally Posted by hisgirl7477

I'm starting a new thread kind of piggy backing off of the "I think he's going through it" thread because I don't want that OP to come back and see all the drama on her thread.

Its not just that thread. People say things sometimes in this forum that just aren't appropriate for this particular topic -its fine anywhere else on this site, but not here. And I think I can speak for my PTSD sisters when I say we'd just really appreciate it if we can keep those kind of comments to other forums and PMS and things like that. Just in case some poor soul is lost and needs a place to feel free to ask for suport - we dont' want her to see all our crap being thrown back and forth. That's all. Someone had a problem with me at one point and she PMd me - for that I was very very grateful. We worked it out and I think now everything is ok. I think that works much better in here due to the sensitivity of this topic.

What you can say in other forums and not get backlash for won't work here. Personally, I love BJ's posts on other forums. They're on point and helpful. I like how she seems to not sugar coat it. But here, its just different and well, maybe we need a lot more sugar coating.

And again, for me anyway - that post was just where the topic was brought up. I don't feel like this is in any way a "Brittene Jo" issue. BJ I'm sorry if you feel I was calling you out - that was not my inention. My issue is that we all please try to be more sensitive than usual here. Here, in this forum where we're all mostly heartbroken - great care and attention to feelings is needed. That's all.

And Starryeyesand Traci and I are saying that when you say "does he have a diagnosis" it upsets us - for all the reasons Staryeyes and I pointed out in the aforementioned post. That's all - simple and done.

*MarineBug* · 06-02-2009, 06:35 PM

Why didn't you just PM BJo? Who else seems to be a problem? You wanna keep drama to a minimum so you took a thread that has died and piggy backed on to it. odd.

BJo · 06-02-2009, 06:55 PM

Good grief. While I respect your opinion I feel like this perpetuates drama. The OP of that thread PM'ed me and said she didn't feel my question was out of line and completely understood me. It was a genuine question out of curiosity and not meant to be an attack.

How am I supposed to know if he was professionally diagnosed or not without asking? I even apologized.

I still have no idea why anything I posted in that thread warranted being called an unsupportive *****?

MS234755 · 06-02-2009, 07:07 PM

oh boy. OP i have no problem with your opinion, but i think pm-ing her would have been the better choice. if someone pm's me and says i said something hurtful, we are able to talk it out one on one, no embarrassment for anyone, and it usually gets resolved just fine. i feel like this puts more drama on what happened. and even though she didn't think she was offensive (and neither did i) she apologized anyway, since people got upset. and she meant it. either forgive and forget, or work it out in private.

hisgirl7477 · 06-02-2009, 07:10 PM

The point of my original post was that I for one did not feel it was about you Britney Jo - it wasn't! It was about some other posts that have happened here that have nothing to do with you. I was apologizing if you felt like anything I said was directed to you - that was the total involvement in your name in my post.

It was addressing this forum over all, the history its had, some things that have been said many times, not just by any one person. Not at all.

I do NOT like it when I see people say that if someone hasn't been diagnosed its not right to jump to conclusions. That's all. These are my feelings, I'm entitled to them, saying that doesn't make me a bad person or mean I'm pointing fingers at anyone. I'm just stating a fact about my feelings. I do not like it. That's all.

So the reason I didn't PM BritneyJo is because that was not directed TO her. It was a post from me to the whole world. I take offense when someone says here, in this forum, and this forum alone that jumping to conclusions about ptsd is wrong unelss there's a diagnosis. This is for the sheer fact that MANY of us have SOs who will NEVER be diagnosed. Like I said earlier, if I die from cancer it doesn't mean it wasn't cancer if it wasn't diagnosed.

Laurie119 · 06-02-2009, 07:11 PM

This is not the place for this discussion. Everyone needs to take it to PM's or let it go.

jennypage · 06-02-2009, 07:12 PM

There are women on this site who have some SERIOUS problems with their SO and PTSD, and I honestly feel it takes away from it when people ASSUME when their SO has PTSD cause they are distant, cause they just got home and are having trouble re-integrating, when they dont like the dinner you made. I mean seriously, DIAGNOSIS IS A BIG PART OF THE PTSD FORUM. IT NEEDS TO BE BROUGHT UP.

Way to perpetuate the drama, OP.

hisgirl7477 · 06-02-2009, 07:45 PM

I give up. I was simply apologizing to BJ. And trying to move the drama off the OPs thread.

And if you read all that I write... and that others write. We would NEVER EVER say that a distant SO equals PTSD. Go read my first post on the other thread. THOSE are the symptoms we deal with.

06-02-2009, 07:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
hisgirl7477 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 426 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 21%	The drama here I'm starting a new thread kind of piggy backing off of the "I think he's going through it" thread because I don't want that OP to come back and see all the drama on her thread. Its not just that thread. People say things sometimes in this forum that just aren't appropriate for this particular topic -its fine anywhere else on this site, but not here. And I think I can speak for my PTSD sisters when I say we'd just really appreciate it if we can keep those kind of comments to other forums and PMS and things like that. Just in case some poor soul is lost and needs a place to feel free to ask for suport - we dont' want her to see all our crap being thrown back and forth. That's all. Someone had a problem with me at one point and she PMd me - for that I was very very grateful. We worked it out and I think now everything is ok. I think that works much better in here due to the sensitivity of this topic. What you can say in other forums and not get backlash for won't work here. Personally, I love BJ's posts on other forums. They're on point and helpful. I like how she seems to not sugar coat it. But here, its just different and well, maybe we need a lot more sugar coating. And again, for me anyway - that post was just where the topic was brought up. I don't feel like this is in any way a "Brittene Jo" issue. BJ I'm sorry if you feel I was calling you out - that was not my inention. My issue is that we all please try to be more sensitive than usual here. Here, in this forum where we're all mostly heartbroken - great care and attention to feelings is needed. That's all. And Starryeyesand Traci and I are saying that when you say "does he have a diagnosis" it upsets us - for all the reasons Staryeyes and I pointed out in the aforementioned post. That's all - simple and done.

06-02-2009, 07:54 AM	#2 (permalink)
jessi01 In my own little crazy world . . it's ok, they know me here. Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 3,325 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 25% Longevity: 16%	Oh gee, I must've missed something. I agree, the PTSD forum might be one place where people may want to be a little more cautious on how things are worded or what they say. I haven't had anyone be anything other than amazingly supportive of me and I am so so grateful for all of that. I can imagine though, if someone had said something hurtful to me in there I would probably be devastated. __________________ The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated ~ Gandhi www.frenchbulldogrescue.org

06-02-2009, 06:35 PM	#4 (permalink)
MarineBug KYLEY Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Me:SoCal DH:Afghanistan Stationed:Camp Pendleton Posts: 16,106 Blog Entries: 2 Classifieds: (12) Activity: 50% Longevity: 34%	Why didn't you just PM BJo? Who else seems to be a problem? You wanna keep drama to a minimum so you took a thread that has died and piggy backed on to it. odd. __________________ 7 MONTHS 8 DAYS Since Bubba Went to Afghanistan If you are looking for Custom Bows to match your little ones outfit for any holiday please PM me! Order custom holiday bows now and receive FREE SHIPPING!

06-02-2009, 07:07 PM	#6 (permalink)
MS234755 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 4,448 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 91% Longevity: 15%	oh boy. OP i have no problem with your opinion, but i think pm-ing her would have been the better choice. if someone pm's me and says i said something hurtful, we are able to talk it out one on one, no embarrassment for anyone, and it usually gets resolved just fine. i feel like this puts more drama on what happened. and even though she didn't think she was offensive (and neither did i) she apologized anyway, since people got upset. and she meant it. either forgive and forget, or work it out in private. __________________ Wifey to HisCupcake and Nicklenack- The two awesome Nic(h)oles

06-02-2009, 07:11 PM	#8 (permalink)
Laurie119 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 3,851 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 26% Longevity: 97%	This is not the place for this discussion. Everyone needs to take it to PM's or let it go. __________________ Don't let the little things bug you, so what if he wants to go out with his friends for a couple of hours, or ** around on the computer, at least he's with you. So what if there's socks on the floor or the toilet seat is left up, at least he was there --Me Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.** --Unknown

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06-02-2009, 06:55 PM	#5 (permalink)
BJo Account Closed Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Your mom Posts: 25,363 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 13% Longevity: 39%	Good grief. While I respect your opinion I feel like this perpetuates drama. The OP of that thread PM'ed me and said she didn't feel my question was out of line and completely understood me. It was a genuine question out of curiosity and not meant to be an attack. How am I supposed to know if he was professionally diagnosed or not without asking? I even apologized. I still have no idea why anything I posted in that thread warranted being called an unsupportive *****?

06-02-2009, 07:10 PM	#7 (permalink)
hisgirl7477 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 426 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 21%	The point of my original post was that I for one did not feel it was about you Britney Jo - it wasn't! It was about some other posts that have happened here that have nothing to do with you. I was apologizing if you felt like anything I said was directed to you - that was the total involvement in your name in my post. It was addressing this forum over all, the history its had, some things that have been said many times, not just by any one person. Not at all. I do NOT like it when I see people say that if someone hasn't been diagnosed its not right to jump to conclusions. That's all. These are my feelings, I'm entitled to them, saying that doesn't make me a bad person or mean I'm pointing fingers at anyone. I'm just stating a fact about my feelings. I do not like it. That's all. So the reason I didn't PM BritneyJo is because that was not directed TO her. It was a post from me to the whole world. I take offense when someone says here, in this forum, and this forum alone that jumping to conclusions about ptsd is wrong unelss there's a diagnosis. This is for the sheer fact that MANY of us have SOs who will NEVER be diagnosed. Like I said earlier, if I die from cancer it doesn't mean it wasn't cancer if it wasn't diagnosed.

06-02-2009, 07:12 PM	#9 (permalink)
jennypage Hating the world one asshole at a time.... Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: ME: Roy, Washington HIM: iraqistack Posts: 19,704 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 72% Longevity: 33%	There are women on this site who have some SERIOUS problems with their SO and PTSD, and I honestly feel it takes away from it when people ASSUME when their SO has PTSD cause they are distant, cause they just got home and are having trouble re-integrating, when they dont like the dinner you made. I mean seriously, DIAGNOSIS IS A BIG PART OF THE PTSD FORUM. IT NEEDS TO BE BROUGHT UP. Way to perpetuate the drama, OP.

06-02-2009, 07:45 PM	#10 (permalink)
hisgirl7477 Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 426 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 0% Longevity: 21%	I give up. I was simply apologizing to BJ. And trying to move the drama off the OPs thread. And if you read all that I write... and that others write. We would NEVER EVER say that a distant SO equals PTSD. Go read my first post on the other thread. THOSE are the symptoms we deal with.