Lets hear your stories ladies....

[Twink]

(looking for an upside if there is one)

Okay so DB is coming home soon and already showing signs of a pending difficult adjustment when he comes home. which actually means R&R is going to have a cloud hanging over it which makes me unbelievably sad and upset.

Anyways, Ive heard the downside of the adjustment phase and know there are successes out there (where the men are able to find ways to cope/adjust and reacclimate to life at home after being over there for 12 months and beyond). So what Im hoping for are some of your success stories to keep me motivated and positive for him and hold onto hope that it doesnt have to end negatively.

What was your experience? what helped your SO to heal and re-adjust? what role did you play in all of it/how did you help to support him?

[Jessica_Marie]

For us everything was fine. Everything fell back to place. He had no signs of PTSD. He was so happy to be home and glad that he was done with his tour.

But I do know some couples where it was a different story. Some guys wanted to go back and etc. My DH never understood why some guys would be depressed and wanting to go back over there when they have their family with them. I guess it just happens.

I hope that everything works out for the best for you both. I know some of the girls will have better advice!

((HUGS))

[Twink]

Thats how I was thinking it would be for DB until last week when he was talking about some of the things he was going through (very seldom has he ever opened up about what he's feeling and going through over there)

Thanks though

[BJo]

It was really hard at first, I won't lie. He would flip out about things on occassion and it really freaked me out. I stuck with it though and was supportive as I possibly could be. I really think that is the most important component, just standing by them. I'm glad I stuck it out because things got 10x better after a little adjustment. Our relationship is 10x stronger.

[Twink]

anybody else with successes? they cant all end poorly can they?

[leftover]

We're dealing with it.. You can take your pick.. Sorry to reply so un-personally, but I've posted alot under this topic..

http://forum.militarysos.com/search....g_searchinfo=1

[chelsea<3josh]

no success here yet, my db hasnt even been home 3 months yet and we have major, huge issues. he's very different, quiet, wants to be alone, and snaps at me so easily, im practically afraid to talk to him these days.

but i think it is different for everybody, and also, keep in mind that it is a good thing he's talking to you about things that will help for sure! just be as supportive as possible, let him know you're not going anywhere, and you love him sooo much!

good luck

[Jessica_Marie]

but i think it is different for everybody, and also, keep in mind that it is a good thing he's talking to you about things that will help for sure! just be as supportive as possible, let him know you're not going anywhere, and you love him sooo much!

I agree, thats a good sign that he is talking to you. Just make sure that he knows that you are there to listen. ((HUGS))

[marinewife_sd]

My DH is still on deployment so I have no advice but I just want to say I hope things go good for you

[KateTheGreat]

no success here yet, my db hasnt even been home 3 months yet and we have major, huge issues. he's very different, quiet, wants to be alone, and snaps at me so easily, im practically afraid to talk to him these days.
____________________
at 3 months it's called "acute stress" and is actually NORMAL for readjustment, so don't diagnose it yet! At about six months, when it becomes apparent that he's not adjusting THEN look into PTSD.

As for the OP, check out the resources post, and the ladies are right on that the BEST thing you can do for him is be there for him and be a good listener. Have hope! There are many more successes than people broadcast.

This should give you hope.. In a recent study the head honcho said this

""The trajectory for most veterans with war-related PTSD that causes substantial impairment is toward amelioration or complete remission. This tendency toward improvement is present even for (approximately) 10% of veterans who still had impairing current PTSD at follow-up; the impairment most of them showed by this time (10+ years after the end of the Vietnam war) was not severe. The functioning of the veterans who had developed war-related PTSD but who no longer met criteria for the disorder at follow-up differed little from that of veterans who did not develop war-related PTSD."

in ENGLISH that says that up to ten percent have COMPLETE remission (that doesn't sound big, but in terms of scientific numbers it's HUGE), that impairments ten years later were VERY minor (ex- a light pops and they jump a bit), and that those who HAD PTSD from the war (in this case Vietnam) but who improved and later didn't fit diagnostic criteria functioned just as well as those who NEVER HAD PTSD SYMPTOMS.

Hopefully that helps send a ray of light your way! <3