Lets hear your stories ladies....

[leiawen]

Hey there,
My DF was not on as long of a deployment as yours has been, but he has adjusted very well. I only have known him since he came back but he does not have PTSD.

The reason I wanted to respond is that he does do what your DB is doing...that is, talk about things that bothered him. He does it very rarely, but once in a while he will get upset and anxious and tell me something that he saw or felt and why it hurt, and it seems to make him feel better that he has someone to listen to him. So I just wanted to give you for being there for your DB, being able to talk to you about it is surely helping him. I bet he will be all right, especially with people supporting him on his return.

[USAF_SF_Wife]

My father was in Desert Storm and came back with PTSD. It got bad and he was honorably discharged after 25 years of service. It was bad growing up. My parents would fight a lot, he snapped a lot and one time he got so angry that he accidently hit me. Then he really realized what a problem he had and started getting help for it. Since then, him and my mom have had my brother and sister, he's gone to college and got his degree and he's got a lot more patience. I'm so proud of him and we're so much closer. There is light at the end of the tunnel hun, just keep supporting him. Once my mom realized that something was really wrong, it got better. She kept supporting him and it really helped. As a child growing up with a parent with PTSD, I know it can get better.

I hope this helps. My father is a good example of a success story.

[SoldiersLoveinSC]

When my honey came back, he was very numb as far as expressing his feelings and was *very* jumpy. He finally contacted the VA and was diagnosed with PTSD and short term memory loss. They put him on medication, and he started going to therapy. About six months ago he quit going to therapy because he felt he was doing much, much better. Two weekends ago I could see him drifting again, almost like he had just come back. This week will be two years since he left Iraq, and two years to the day since he saw three of his combat buddies killed. I begged him to go back to therapy and he went on Thursday. Came home in tears. He's been very, very distant this weekend, but I'm giving him his space because I know he's got to work through everything that's going through his head. I'm just hoping he continues going to therapy so he can continue to heal.

[monkeyinabarrel]

my significant other of six years was on an 18 month deployment (army national guard). He has been back for two years now and things are fine.

Almost everyone we knew divorced during or soon after the deployment. When he first got back he was extremely clingy. This may not sound like a bad thing but it gets frustrating. He would have to be touching me constantly. I was consulting from home at the time and i would be sitting at my computer trying to work and he would stand behind me and would not leave me alone. I would wake up in the middle of the night and he would be holding me so tight it would be uncomfortable and if i struggled he would tighten even more i would have to scream or bite him to wake him up.
He had one semester of college to finish when he left for deployment. He conveniently got back a month before the spring semester. He jumped right into school after a vacation and the family visits, but when summer came and he graduated he refused to get a job. He just wanted to have fun. He would always say that he lost a whole year and a half of his life and he deserved to have a good time. I let it go for the summer and told him he had to find a job by September. He would talk extremely negatively about any other wives or girlfriends and would constantly say that all girls were sluts and *****s. (an attitude he never had before). He didn't want to take a good job or make any long term plans because he would say he was just going to get deployed again. He also was depressed and almost embarrassed about his deployment and when people would thank him he would say that they shouldn't cause he didn't do anything. He would also tell me frequently that he didn't do enough and shouldn't be considered a veteran.
All of these things slowly faded. Two years later i can finally say he is back to normal. I wanted to write this because it is not always very dramatic or traumatic issues they can be very subtle.

the most important thing is to talk about it.

[my.hero's.mrs]

My hunnie has been diagnosed with PTSD (after his 2nd deployment) and when he returned to Iraq after his R&R this past January, they added depression to his diagnosis. It's his 3rd deployment now. He was married before, she cheated, probably several times, and didn't say anything for many many months. About 2 15-month deployments went by without her owning up to her cheating. So that plus seeing buddies killed and defending his own life really took a toll on him. I've only been dating him since R&R but have been friends for several years.

Our success story is that DB is great at coping with his PTSD. He had a few breakdowns on R&R and I learned (finally) how to help him cope while still providing his space. He just needs to take long walks to breathe and sometimes, I just hold him as he cries and cries. This is so painful to watch him go through, but I know that with time and therapy, it will get better. I will stand by his side and I will support him through this for the rest of our lives.