Quote Originally Posted by AMP1984 View Post
Sometimes when we wait for something, anticipate, and put all these expectations on a moment or event it's just plain disappointing. And it's NOT that that isn't an awesome, amazing, fun time, it's that it doesn't live up to this amazing fantasy! I haven't had homecoming yet...I also am REALLY looking forward to it but it won't be coming til end of 2018 for me!

But in the past expectations have caused issues with us. Our one year anniversary we planned a romantic getaway to New Orleans kids free (I have my kids 24/7 but his he only sees a couple times a year, they live in WA we live in TX) so I paid a crap ton of money for a babysitter for a long weekend and we were ready for this romantic adventure. Well his daughter (who was away all summer at a camp type thing) managed to injure her wrist and could no longer participate in her activity and was closer to TX than WA so suddenly he had her for a month and she wasn't going home until after our long weekend in New Orleans so we now had a 15 year old tagging along on our romantic getaway. I was super bummed. Was it a horrible trip? No, it was still a fun adventure. Was it anything like what I had envisioned? Not. At. All. Was I pissy about it? Yup. I tried SO HARD to be OK with it but I wasn't at the time and it showed. I was super upset I paid so much money to be kid free and had a kid tag along anyways! Do I understand why he brought her? Of course! If I rarely saw my kids and finally got the chance to have time with them (especially unexpectedly) I would take it in a heartbeat! But it was still difficult for me because my feelings were hurt. Did we get past it? Of course! Was it still a fun vacation! Yes! But it didn't match my expectations and that was a hard pill to swallow.

I try hard now not to put too much pressure on things to go a certain way and just enjoy the time we have together. I am also pretty sure for his homecoming he will head to WA before he heads to TX so I won't be his first stop! But what's a couple extra weeks after 14+ months?! Plus once he's home he's home, we live together, so I won't be able to get rid of him lol and I will get to see him on his R&R whereas his children won't so I've already prepared myself for the extended time away.

I read somewhere "just because someone doesn't love you the way you think they should doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they have"...food for thought enjoy having your DB back!
Thank you for this thoughtful reply! I really appreciate your example, it helped me sort of walk through the process of my own feelings. I am actually located in WA! Funny coincidence. I will try to put less pressure on things and enjoy the fact that he is home, other people are not so lucky yet.