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Thread: Post-deployment awkwardness

  1. Fresh Newbie
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    #1

    Post-deployment awkwardness

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    My boyfriend just came back from deployment and the first 4 days were a dream. Our first weekend we began to bicker and now things donít feel like they used to. During the six months he was gone we both made every effort to keep in touch and it was amazing. I was deeply in love when he left and that love grew as we both did everything to nurture it and now that heís home he seems to enjoy his alone time more than his time with me. It feels like the love is gone on both ends. Is this normal?
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    #2
    I haven't been through this, but I would allow him some time to adjust before getting too worried. Give it some time and if it still doesn't feel right tell him how you're feeling.
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    #3
    Quote Originally Posted by Vickytoria1988 View Post
    My boyfriend just came back from deployment and the first 4 days were a dream. Our first weekend we began to bicker and now things don’t feel like they used to. During the six months he was gone we both made every effort to keep in touch and it was amazing. I was deeply in love when he left and that love grew as we both did everything to nurture it and now that he’s home he seems to enjoy his alone time more than his time with me. It feels like the love is gone on both ends. Is this normal?
    This is VERY normal. Reintegration takes time. And there is no magical day when things change. Give him space and be supportive.
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    #4
    Absolutely normal, give it time! Patience is key
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    #5
    As others have said, totally normal. There is an adjustment period after spending months apart. For me it feels like getting used to someone again and almost falling back in love even though you were really in love the whole time
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    #6
    I don't know how to thank you all for taking the type to share your wisdom. You have certainly reassured me. I will give him the space and time he needs!
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    #7
    Definitely normal! Think about it this way: when he was deployed he probably had VERY little alone time and privacy, and was basically at the beck and call of his superior/the mission and likely didn't have much choice on when he ate/slept/did his job. It takes time for them to get used to being independent again, and he's probably very happy to just sit and be alone and chill for once.
    WiggleWiggle~ is my Wifey
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    #8
    just give him some time.
    "She knew she loved him when 'home' went from being a place to being a person."
  9. Vex
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    #9
    I have not experienced this side of deployment yet, but I can absolutely understand him wanting his own space for a little while. Especially if he's the more introverted type, he probably has had VERY little time to just be by himself for the last six months. I'm sure he's elated to be back home and with you, but even the best relationships need some breathing room. I know he just got back and all you want to do is be with him -- I would feel the same! But as PPs have said, give him some time and space, and let him know that you're there when he's ready. He will absolutely appreciate it and should come back more refreshed.

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