Military Significant Others and Spouse Support - MilitarySOS.com
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 39

Thread: 2 months post deployment. Need advice please :(

  1. Regular Member
    airforcegf24's Avatar
    airforcegf24 is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    54
    #11
    Advertisements
    Quote Originally Posted by JennyJennJenn View Post
    First off, My best advice would be to give him some space, sounds like he doesn't have a problem with keeping in contact, and it sounds like he isn't suggesting you break up forever, just like he needs some like to figure out him. It sounds like he's having a lot of adjustment issues since he's been back, have you suggested, or has he said anything about going to talk to a counselor, or just to talk about his issues/feelings with someone he trusts? (Counselors are always best, but if he can't be convinced, talking through your problems to someone is at least a step in the right direction) Have you explained to him how you feel? I mean without breaking down and without freaking out (trust me, I know how difficult it is) have you told him that you're willing to help him, and that you understand how he is struggling, but just want to help him? Maybe he'll understand? I would definitely give him some space though, sounds like that's what he needs, as much as it breaks your heart
    Thank you so much for your advice... He never gave me a chance to talk to him. I didn't freak out but I did cry in front of him. He didn't give me a lot of time to talk. He said he had to go... He was so cold I don't know if he'll see a counselor but he could talk to his friends who were deployed. I just get this awful feeling that he doesn't care about me anymore, he's just doing whatever he wants and forgot about me...
  2. Regular Member
    airforcegf24's Avatar
    airforcegf24 is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    54
    #12
    Can anyone relate to this??
  3. Regular Member
    airforcegf24's Avatar
    airforcegf24 is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    54
    #13
    I haven't heard from him for 2 weeks now and I texted just to say "hey" and no response... Makes me feel so sad. I don't understand... We didn't have a fight so he's not mad at me. He doesn't hate me, he said he cares about me but that he's emotionally unstable... I still don't understand why he's treating me like I don't exist It's the worst feeling...
  4. Senior Member
    villanelle's Avatar
    villanelle is offline
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    14,787
    #14
    It doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Sometimes relationships don't work out, no matter how much one party may want them to.

    He's decided he doesn't want to be with you. There isn't always a reason for that. Sometimes it just happens and there isn't anything to explain it or to understand, other than just that this relationship didn't work out. It definitely is a terrible feeling. Trying to make sense of it only makes you crazy.
    Science always wins over bullshit. ~Dick Rutkowski
  5. Fresh Newbie
    heart_onmysleeve's Avatar
    heart_onmysleeve is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    5
    #15
    Quote Originally Posted by airforcegf24 View Post
    Can anyone relate to this??
    im going through almost the same thing right now sweety. except my guy went to afghan 3 different times. he just got back in may and we started talking in june, got really really close really fast, we didnt have a title or anything but everyone knew we were together and of course they were against it and everything was more then perfect then all of a sudden he pushed me so far away that we are now, "just friends" because he told me it was too much for him, hes having a hard time, doesnt want to hurt me, pretty much almost the same thing your DB said to you. im really sorry you have to go through this. please know you arent alone, i feel extremely lost and im sure you feel similar. if you need to talk, please feel free. wishing you the best and praying for you <3
  6. Regular Member
    airforcegf24's Avatar
    airforcegf24 is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    54
    #16
    Quote Originally Posted by heart_onmysleeve View Post
    im going through almost the same thing right now sweety. except my guy went to afghan 3 different times. he just got back in may and we started talking in june, got really really close really fast, we didnt have a title or anything but everyone knew we were together and of course they were against it and everything was more then perfect then all of a sudden he pushed me so far away that we are now, "just friends" because he told me it was too much for him, hes having a hard time, doesnt want to hurt me, pretty much almost the same thing your DB said to you. im really sorry you have to go through this. please know you arent alone, i feel extremely lost and im sure you feel similar. if you need to talk, please feel free. wishing you the best and praying for you <3
    Hey hun, thank you so much for sharing. It really does help to know I'm not alone. Our stories seem very similar so you know what I'm going through. It's so difficult... It was the last thing I expected. I noticed he had a short temper sometimes even though he's the nicest guy normally and he could not handle talking about anything. I brought up a small issue and he got up and wanted to leave my house. That was weird because we weren't fighting, just sitting and talking. That lead to him getting really worked up and even crying. I tried to calm him down but I couldn't. After I gave him space that week he reached out to me and was back to being himself but a week later out of nowhere he said he can't handle it and its been 3 weeks and we only talked once He never even offered being friends so I really don't know what to make of it. He spends everyday with his buddies. It hurts so much and I can't make sense of it. I know he was bottling up a lot of things because I didn't get any warning signs except for him being stressed out and easily upset sometimes. How are you dealing with your situation? It's so unfair and I keep trying to understand if it's my fault and if I could've done anything differently. He told me he cares about me but his actions don't show it. He pushed me away even though I am his biggest supporter and love him so much. I've been so miserable these last weeks... Just the day before he ended it he asked when I wanted to go to the beach and he was excited to take me. How do you change so fast? We didn't have a fight, things were going well. And n
  7. Regular Member
    airforcegf24's Avatar
    airforcegf24 is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    54
    #17
    Quote Originally Posted by heart_onmysleeve View Post
    im going through almost the same thing right now sweety. except my guy went to afghan 3 different times. he just got back in may and we started talking in june, got really really close really fast, we didnt have a title or anything but everyone knew we were together and of course they were against it and everything was more then perfect then all of a sudden he pushed me so far away that we are now, "just friends" because he told me it was too much for him, hes having a hard time, doesnt want to hurt me, pretty much almost the same thing your DB said to you. im really sorry you have to go through this. please know you arent alone, i feel extremely lost and im sure you feel similar. if you need to talk, please feel free. wishing you the best and praying for you <3
    Hey hun, thank you so much for sharing. It really does help to know I'm not alone. Our stories and even the timing seems very similar so you know what I'm going through. It's so difficult... It was the last thing I expected. I noticed he had a short temper sometimes even though he's the nicest guy normally and he could not handle talking about anything. I brought up a small issue and he got up and wanted to leave my house. That was weird because we weren't fighting, just sitting and talking. That lead to him getting really worked up and even crying. I tried to calm him down but I couldn't. After I gave him space that week he reached out to me and was back to being himself but a week later out of nowhere he said he can't handle it and its been 3 weeks and we only talked once He never even offered being friends so I really don't know what to make of it. He spends everyday with his buddies. It hurts so much and I can't make sense of it. I know he was bottling up a lot of things because I didn't get any warning signs except for him being stressed out and easily upset sometimes. How are you dealing with your situation? It's so unfair and I keep trying to understand if it's my fault and if I could've done anything differently. He told me he cares about me but his actions don't show it. He pushed me away even though I am his biggest supporter and love him so much. I've been so miserable these last weeks... Just the day before he ended it he asked when I wanted to go to the beach and he was excited to take me. How do you change so fast? We didn't have a fight, things were going well. And now I'm stuck and feel so lost. I miss him and wish we were able to sit down for a heart to heart but he's completely shut down. He still sees his friends & family and I'm here all alone and completely devastated. I wish I knew if and when he will snap out of it. I'm here anytime you need to talk! <3
  8. Regular Member
    airforcegf24's Avatar
    airforcegf24 is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    54
    #18
    I need hugs and prayers please...
  9. Fresh Newbie
    heart_onmysleeve's Avatar
    heart_onmysleeve is offline
    Fresh Newbie
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    5
    #19
    Quote Originally Posted by airforcegf24 View Post
    Hey hun, thank you so much for sharing. It really does help to know I'm not alone. Our stories and even the timing seems very similar so you know what I'm going through. It's so difficult... It was the last thing I expected. I noticed he had a short temper sometimes even though he's the nicest guy normally and he could not handle talking about anything. I brought up a small issue and he got up and wanted to leave my house. That was weird because we weren't fighting, just sitting and talking. That lead to him getting really worked up and even crying. I tried to calm him down but I couldn't. After I gave him space that week he reached out to me and was back to being himself but a week later out of nowhere he said he can't handle it and its been 3 weeks and we only talked once He never even offered being friends so I really don't know what to make of it. He spends everyday with his buddies. It hurts so much and I can't make sense of it. I know he was bottling up a lot of things because I didn't get any warning signs except for him being stressed out and easily upset sometimes. How are you dealing with your situation? It's so unfair and I keep trying to understand if it's my fault and if I could've done anything differently. He told me he cares about me but his actions don't show it. He pushed me away even though I am his biggest supporter and love him so much. I've been so miserable these last weeks... Just the day before he ended it he asked when I wanted to go to the beach and he was excited to take me. How do you change so fast? We didn't have a fight, things were going well. And now I'm stuck and feel so lost. I miss him and wish we were able to sit down for a heart to heart but he's completely shut down. He still sees his friends & family and I'm here all alone and completely devastated. I wish I knew if and when he will snap out of it. I'm here anytime you need to talk! <3
    sorry i went MIA from here for a while things got a little crazy. im going to send you a private message with my email address so itll be easier since i always have my phone on me and we can chat. i hope youre doing alright <3
  10. Regular Member
    airforcegf24's Avatar
    airforcegf24 is offline
    Regular Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    54
    #20
    Hi ladies... I need all the support I can get. Today was supposed to be a happy day and I was supposed to go to the MP Ball with my soldier... I can't describe how hurt I am knowing he's there and I'm not... All those days during deployment talking every single day, waiting and worrying seem like they don't matter at all. I still haven't heard from him... I don't know how to get through this anymore. It seems to be getting harder especially because of days like today. He was so excited to take me and talked about it for months... And now everything has changed. This is so hard...
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •