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Thread: Break up at reuinion

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    #21
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    I feel like this is one of the situations where you've devoted so much of your time and energy into the relationship that you didn't see the signs. It's true, he could be going through a rough transitional period, but at the same time.. He came home and you found out on FACEBOOK?.. I'm here if you need me. I hope it works out for you.
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    #22
    I wouldn't waste anymore time or energy on the guy.
    I'm sorry this happened.
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    #23
    I'm sorry OP, but I agree with the people who said not to waste anymore time on him. With the issues you had pre-deployment to this, I say cut your losses.



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    #24
    Im sorry you have to go through this. I've been through too many break ups with DB, twice during afghan deployment, but we managed to get back together. During homeport, things fell apart and we broke up when deployed to Cambodia and eventually got back but it was still a blur and we tried to work it out but we just completely lost touch and didnt hear from each other anymore. We broke up for 6 months, not talking much. I was always the one who randomly sends him fb messages once a month but sometimes he would ignore it or would reply but nothing just one or two lines. We both knew we still love each other and still want to be together. and now we are back together again. As insane as it may sound but our love right now is stronger. we are both happy.

    Sometimes i think that we needed that 6 month break to evaluate our relationship. He never left my mind and heart that 6 months. I always know he would come back to me.

    Give it time with your xbf. He will come around. Be there as a friend for him and continue to support him. I hope all goes well with you.
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    #25
    I hope things worked out
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    #26
    Sounds like he had you around during deployment to just have someone for him when he wanted you, and then once he got back stateside he kinda filed you away and he's living his life without much thought of you...i'd cut the losses and find someone who won't do that. Would you want this to happen on future deployments if he decides to make an effort to work things out?
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    #27
    i dont know what you should do. all the "advice" is so negative. I think you should give him space, if he reaches out again be there for him. be a good friend to him. if he loves you he will come around, but if he changes his relationship status to in a relationship...ouch. I'm really not sure, maybe you two need to talk....? sigh this is very sad indeed. whatever happens i hope it all works out. maybe your true love is someone you meet because of this hurt.
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    #28
    Quote Originally Posted by magentablues View Post
    Im sorry you have to go through this. I've been through too many break ups with DB, twice during afghan deployment, but we managed to get back together. During homeport, things fell apart and we broke up when deployed to Cambodia and eventually got back but it was still a blur and we tried to work it out but we just completely lost touch and didnt hear from each other anymore. We broke up for 6 months, not talking much. I was always the one who randomly sends him fb messages once a month but sometimes he would ignore it or would reply but nothing just one or two lines. We both knew we still love each other and still want to be together. and now we are back together again. As insane as it may sound but our love right now is stronger. we are both happy.

    Sometimes i think that we needed that 6 month break to evaluate our relationship. He never left my mind and heart that 6 months. I always know he would come back to me.

    Give it time with your xbf. He will come around. Be there as a friend for him and continue to support him. I hope all goes well with you.

    I've been through similar things with my ex-husband. Yeah, we got divorced before his third deployment bc he had a 'midlife crisis' and freak out about dying in A-stan. He pulled completely away and after 8 years of marriage --- I LET HIM GO--- because about 2 months into his deployment (1 month into the divorce) he realized how much he had screwed it up. By the time he was half way through we were good and when he got off his plane home he had a ticket in his hand to come visit me in Chicago. Point is - I moved on and he realized he had lost the love of his life. Believe me it hurt like hell - I cried a lot - but I didn't give him a 'Pass' just because he was going through a lot of crazy.
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    #29
    Quote Originally Posted by Candice. View Post
    Why are you going to "stand by his side" when he doesn't want you to? I think this guy is clearly done and you're holding on to something that isn't there.

    1. He stopped talking to you while he was deployed. You make excuses saying he's working hard. Yes that's true but he could scrape up one email to say that.
    2. He "surprised" you? Surprising consists of keeping the person from finding out at all and showing up at their door, not just letting them find out from fb and then waiting a week to see them. I think he just didn't want to tell you he was home and when you found out anyway, he lied and said it was a surprise.
    3. He only saw you to get his uniform. No he didn't kick you out right after he got it, maybe he's not an ass and knew that would be rude.

    I'm so sorry you're hurting but look at the signs. He was trying to end it without you getting hurt.
    Very blunt, but something the original poster needs to hear. To me, and apparently everyone else, it sounds like he is done. I'm sorry
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