Post Homecoming Letdown? - Post Deployment

louisa85 · 08-21-2009, 09:42 PM

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Rain. · 08-21-2009, 09:46 PM

Hes only been a week. Its harder on them to come home than it is on us I think. They have to come out of warrior mode, see all the things theyve missed while away, and just wrap their head around the fact they are home and safe.

Marley · 08-21-2009, 09:47 PM

I can relate. All I can say is assert your needs and give space. Things really changed once he got his stuff out of storage and found an apartment again. I think it takes time for some guys to "get back on their feet." It's been a month for us and things are so much better. They are still not the way I imagined during all those lonely nights when he was gone, but they are better. You are only at week one. Hang in there!

Am · 08-21-2009, 09:48 PM

Readjustment is weird, hard, and confusing. Give him time and communicate. He won't know how you feel until you tell him.

Katie1027 · 08-22-2009, 04:18 PM

I'm so sorry honey. I don't have that much experience but I have lots of opinions...

The girls have given you great advice.

I agree and think he just needs to get adjusted and yet again it's nothing personal.
Give him time and space...and I am sure you'll see him come around.

I know it's hard but you can do it.

Lori

His*PITA* · 08-22-2009, 04:20 PM

Yea... I know the feeling love.

I know you are being as understanding as you can and trying your best to not take it personally... but this is your SO, you have missed him all this time and would like a little more then your getting. It stinks big time, eventually things will come together, but for now you just have to hang in there and complain about it on here to us...

Nittany · 08-22-2009, 06:14 PM

i felt extremely sad and letdown when homecoming was over. you wait forever and have all of these idealized visions of how it's actually going to happen, and in reality, it's completely different. i think talk about your expectations and be understanding that he has a lot to do.

kensington · 08-23-2009, 09:57 PM

Originally Posted by louisa85

Have you experienced it?

He's been home almost a week now. I'm trying to understand that he had to find a house, move, and go back to work all at once. It just seems like he could be more attentive. He could call or text more, or do anything at all. I'm going to be a little bit more patient. But my man has let me down at about every step of the way since April.

Any words of wisdom?

Yep... It's just like Christmas... I spend months getting ready for Christmas... I decorate EVERYTHING... 17 trees... tons of shopping, gifts and food! Christmas is the most wonderful day of the year... and the day after .... is the most quiet.

Words of wisdom? Don't count on the presents! Or... don't count on him being as attentive or romantic or as sentimental as you would be. His life is the same... work, down time, sleep... back to work. It's disappointing, I know, but if you get wrapped up in it, it can damage your relationship. Find ways to "make the romance" happen. You can call, you can say I love you first... send cards... Heck... send flowers... Just don't sit and stew until you can't get back up. Be proactive in your relationship.

JAYOSA · 08-24-2009, 01:37 AM

he just needs time to readjust to being back home..

jennypage · 08-24-2009, 01:42 AM

Immediately post deployment is worse than the entire deployment as far as I'm concerned. It ****ing sucks, to put it bluntly. Just give it time, it will get better.

08-21-2009, 09:42 PM	#1 (permalink)
louisa85 Instigator Extraordinaire Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 7,153 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 47% Longevity: 14%	Post Homecoming Letdown? . __________________ Keep on keeping on. Last edited by louisa85; 09-16-2009 at 11:11 PM.

08-21-2009, 09:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
Rain. MilitarySOS Jewel Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 19,154 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 35% Longevity: 35%	Hes only been a week. Its harder on them to come home than it is on us I think. They have to come out of warrior mode, see all the things theyve missed while away, and just wrap their head around the fact they are home and safe. __________________

08-21-2009, 09:47 PM	#3 (permalink)
Marley Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: North East Posts: 3,840 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 22% Longevity: 16%	I can relate. All I can say is assert your needs and give space. Things really changed once he got his stuff out of storage and found an apartment again. I think it takes time for some guys to "get back on their feet." It's been a month for us and things are so much better. They are still not the way I imagined during all those lonely nights when he was gone, but they are better. You are only at week one. Hang in there! __________________

08-21-2009, 09:48 PM	#4 (permalink)
Am CarolinaHokie Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: VA/NC Posts: 12,796 Classifieds: (1) Activity: 94% Longevity: 28%	Readjustment is weird, hard, and confusing. Give him time and communicate. He won't know how you feel until you tell him. __________________

08-22-2009, 04:20 PM	#6 (permalink)
HisPITA Auntie to Jens Kids, Snooty O Wife to Settles Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Kuwait Posts: 19,019 Blog Entries: 1 Classifieds: (7) Activity: 94% Longevity: 21%	Yea... I know the feeling love. I know you are being as understanding as you can and trying your best to not take it personally... but this is your SO, you have missed him all this time and would like a little more then your getting. It stinks big time, eventually things will come together, but for now you just have to hang in there and complain about it on here to us... __________________ She will be mine.

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08-22-2009, 04:18 PM	#5 (permalink)
Katie1027 it's only my screen name Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 133 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 5% Longevity: 5%	I'm so sorry honey. I don't have that much experience but I have lots of opinions... The girls have given you great advice. I agree and think he just needs to get adjusted and yet again it's nothing personal. Give him time and space...and I am sure you'll see him come around. I know it's hard but you can do it. Lori

08-22-2009, 06:14 PM	#7 (permalink)
Nittany Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: DFW Area/Afghan Posts: 445 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 28% Longevity: 4%	i felt extremely sad and letdown when homecoming was over. you wait forever and have all of these idealized visions of how it's actually going to happen, and in reality, it's completely different. i think talk about your expectations and be understanding that he has a lot to do. __________________

08-24-2009, 01:37 AM	#9 (permalink)
JAYOSA Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: San Diego/Coronado Posts: 369 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 19% Longevity: 5%	he just needs time to readjust to being back home.. __________________

08-24-2009, 01:42 AM	#10 (permalink)
jennypage Hating the world one asshole at a time.... Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: ME: Roy, Washington HIM: iraqistack Posts: 19,703 Classifieds: (0) Activity: 72% Longevity: 33%	Immediately post deployment is worse than the entire deployment as far as I'm concerned. It ****ing sucks, to put it bluntly. Just give it time, it will get better.