Distant..is it normal?

[golden20]

So, he's back from deployment now, has a cell phone again, and he's been really strange, i thought he made alot of positive changes, he was emailing me all the time calling me in ports, now hes really distant, and just sends me lame text messages, mind you it's only been a week since he's been back.. i just thought things would be better like they were on the deployment. Hes coming home soon for his leave.. i don't know is it normal that he's being such an ******* now that hes back? He's acting like a complete different person from the guy he was just a week ago..

[louisa85]

I haven't experienced it, but many other ladies on here have.

[*MarineBug*]

I personally don't think its normal. I think its normal for one to adjust and have a few ups and downs but I don't think its normal for anyone coming home from a deployment to treat others around them poorly. I don't use a deployment for any form of an excuse for anyone.

[BJo]

Are you guys back together?(sorry, I can't remember )

It's normal. They need time to get their head straight.

[His*PITA*]

Originally Posted by golden20 So, he's back from deployment now, has a cell phone again, and he's been really strange, i thought he made alot of positive changes, he was emailing me all the time calling me in ports, now hes really distant, and just sends me lame text messages, mind you it's only been a week since he's been back.. i just thought things would be better like they were on the deployment. Hes coming home soon for his leave.. i don't know is it normal that he's being such an ******* now that hes back? He's acting like a complete different person from the guy he was just a week ago..

completely normal... while its not ok for him to be a jerk, it is normal for people retuning home to be distant and take a decent amount of time to re-adjust to being home...

[miamoa2002]

I have heard from many others that it take awhile to adjust but honestly I would think they would want to call you as much as you want to call them. BUT, and this is a BIG BUT I have not gone through a deployment with my husband *knock on wood* so I dont know by experience.

[golden20]

Originally Posted by BrittanyJo Are you guys back together?(sorry, I can't remember ) It's normal. They need time to get their head straight.

haha it's ok, no were not, but we have made plans to see each on leave and go out to a nice dinner and talk about everything.. it's just like he called me the day he got back, and he was a sweetheart..
now i'm getting "a milli" lyrics, or poems about the world ending when i asked how he was doing, or how "flordia sucks nothing to do blah blahblah" when i offer suggestions. he's just acting so strange... i dont know, maybe it's weird to get text messages from him again? But it's so different from the person he is on the phone..

[BJo]

Originally Posted by golden20 haha it's ok, no were not, but we have made plans to see each on leave and go out to a nice dinner and talk about everything.. it's just like he called me the day he got back, and he was a sweetheart.. now i'm getting "a milli" lyrics, or poems about the world ending when i asked how he was doing, or how "flordia sucks nothing to do blah blahblah" when i offer suggestions. he's just acting so strange... i dont know, maybe it's weird to get text messages from him again? But it's so different from the person he is on the phone..

Just be patient. Reintegration can be rocky. You're adjusting and so is he.

[LinLeeSD]

Originally Posted by BrittanyJo Just be patient. Reintegration can be rocky. You're adjusting and so is he.

Exactly. DB wasn't a jerk, but things had to cool while he wrapped his head around his life. It's a huge shift to go from a very productive, regimented/scheduled day to having your own time. Once he was able to feel comfortable in his skin again, the old feelings returned and things are like they were pre-deployment.

[Whitney.]

it took about 2 weeks for DB to stop distancing himself from me. once i relaxed and stopped asking "how are you? you ok? blah blah blah" and gave him space, things were fine. some may take longer than others to readjust also. i'd just back down a little bit and let him come to you